4PackGirl
14 years ago
i completely agree, porforis. i'm seriously lucky to be alive with the insane things i did as a teenager. and i'm a small town country girl who had a great upbringing with very loving parents. bottom line, i was gonna do what i wanted. they tried many times - talk after talk after talk - i STILL didn't listen.
4PackGirl
14 years ago


sorry zombie but i'm callin bullshit on this one. my parents talked to me about sex, were very strong in their morals, & told me to wait. but i didn't. it had NOTHING to do with their parenting skills. i'm a headstrong female - now it's a good thing - when i was a teen, not so much.

"DakotaT" wrote:



The possibilities for a response to this are endless. All I know is that I should have travelled through Iowa as a teenager.

"4PackGirl" wrote:



who lives in iowa?
Wade
  • Wade
  • Veteran Member
14 years ago


sorry zombie but i'm callin bullshit on this one. my parents talked to me about sex, were very strong in their morals, & told me to wait. but i didn't. it had NOTHING to do with their parenting skills. i'm a headstrong female - now it's a good thing - when i was a teen, not so much.

"DakotaT" wrote:



The possibilities for a response to this are endless. All I know is that I should have travelled through Iowa as a teenager.

"4PackGirl" wrote:



Whyever for? So you could have stayed celibate? Or investigated sex in a soybean field?


Now if you are saying you should have left Dakota, that I can see.

But go to Iowa? Yech.
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
Romans 12:2 (NKJV)
zombieslayer
14 years ago
If you are a parent and your kid kills someone, it's your responsibility.

It's also your responsibility to teach your kids about sex. I was ready before I hit puberty. I had responsible sex in my teens. I still enjoy sex as an adult.

My fears about sex were STDs and pregnancies. I learned to take precaution for both, due to good parenting. I could have told you the difference between gonorrhoea and syphilis before I hit puberty. I also knew how to get condoms and how to get my gf the pill before I hit puberty. I was ready.

Sorry if I offend you here, but maybe my parents were better?

I don't believe in "wait." That's so freaking sexist because they don't tell boys to wait. Now, wait for the right person, sure. Wait until you get the STD results from the lab back, sure.

My son has already had sex, but for some weird reason, prefers videogames. That's my WTF parenting moment.
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DakotaT
14 years ago


Whyever for? So you could have stayed celibate? Or investigated sex in a soybean field?

"Wade" wrote:



Good one, but we're talking oats, not soybeans?

And Julie, I thought you were an Iowa girl?
UserPostedImage
Wade
  • Wade
  • Veteran Member
14 years ago
A couple questions regarding pre-18 sex.

1. If you had it to do over, would you have had less of it, more of it, or the same of it?

2. That which you had, do you regret having had?


I'd rather have a school of sexually active teenagers than a school of teenagers trying to deal with hormones while living the life of monks.


ISTM there are four objections that might be made to pre-18 sex, none of which justifies the law imposing age-based line.

Objection A: The religious one about idolatry. (The real reason for the adultery prohibition is that sex with a married person violates a covenant with God, and thus breaks the Great Commandment.) It's a valid argument (at least if you buy a certain kind of Christianity. But to the extent it is valid, it applies to everyone, not just to under 18s.

Objection B: Nonconsensual sex. The "what about rape or exploitation or ..." argument. Well, sure. But that's true whether the person is 14 or 54. Assault is assault. If you want to use "youth" as an factual argument for "unimformed consent" or some such, that's fine. But to say as a matter of law that just because someone is 14 or 16, they're presumptively less able to grant consent, that seems me as wholly unproven.

Objection C: The "kids are too young to bear that quantity of responsibility (e.g. for a kid of their own). Well, okay, I'll buy that. (Though the Admiral Farragut example would be a bit of contrary evidence for that claim.) But, funny thing is, you can have sex without it yielding kids.

And sex education isn't rocket science: Its "if you put this bit here, and you don't put that bit there, this little bit here is going to become a kid." And the economics of childrearing isn't that hard to get across either: here's how much a kid (you) cost me when you arrived (show bills, declining bank balance, etc.).

Objection 😨 STDs. Pretty easy education, too. "This is your penis. This is your penis on gonorrhea."
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
Romans 12:2 (NKJV)
Porforis
14 years ago

If you are a parent and your kid kills someone, it's your responsibility.

"zombieslayer" wrote:



Wow blanket statements.

It's also your responsibility to teach your kids about sex. I was ready before I hit puberty. I had responsible sex in my teens. I still enjoy sex as an adult.

My fears about sex were STDs and pregnancies. I learned to take precaution for both, due to good parenting. I could have told you the difference between gonorrhoea and syphilis before I hit puberty. I also knew how to get condoms and how to get my gf the pill before I hit puberty. I was ready.

Sorry if I offend you here, but maybe my parents were better?

"zombieslayer" wrote:



You're taking your own experiences and life and applying it to the rest of the population. I'm sorry, but not everyone is exactly like you. I'm sorry if you can't understand that.

Also, let's assume for the moment that parents do have absolute 100% control over their children, and if the kids mess up it's always the parents' fault. Shouldn't you be arguing for amendments to the existing laws allowing for an exemption with parental consent? You know, since you're sort of arguing that kids aren't responsible for their own actions anyways? And you're protecting kids with shitty parents?

I don't believe in "wait." That's so freaking sexist because they don't tell boys to wait. Now, wait for the right person, sure. Wait until you get the STD results from the lab back, sure.

"zombieslayer" wrote:



They don't tell boys to wait? Huh? I thought we were talking about parenting and not boys snickering about nailing chicks in the hallways.
4PackGirl
14 years ago


Whyever for? So you could have stayed celibate? Or investigated sex in a soybean field?

"DakotaT" wrote:



Good one, but we're talking oats, not soybeans?

And Julie, I thought you were an Iowa girl?

"Wade" wrote:



nope - illinois baby!! 😉
zombieslayer
14 years ago

A couple questions regarding pre-18 sex.

1. If you had it to do over, would you have had less of it, more of it, or the same of it?

2. That which you had, do you regret having had?

"Wade" wrote:


1. More of it. There were a few girls who I should have had sex with but didn't. How could you not regret that? ;)

2. The only girl I regret having sex with was a Feminazi (I don't use that word lightly, she was the real deal) when I was in my early 20s. None in my teens and none later.

I'd rather have a school of sexually active teenagers than a school of teenagers trying to deal with hormones while living the life of monks.

"Wade" wrote:



I couldn't agree more.


ISTM there are four objections that might be made to pre-18 sex, none of which justifies the law imposing age-based line.

Objection A: The religious one about idolatry. (The real reason for the adultery prohibition is that sex with a married person violates a covenant with God, and thus breaks the Great Commandment.) It's a valid argument (at least if you buy a certain kind of Christianity. But to the extent it is valid, it applies to everyone, not just to under 18s.

Objection B: Nonconsensual sex. The "what about rape or exploitation or ..." argument. Well, sure. But that's true whether the person is 14 or 54. Assault is assault. If you want to use "youth" as an factual argument for "unimformed consent" or some such, that's fine. But to say as a matter of law that just because someone is 14 or 16, they're presumptively less able to grant consent, that seems me as wholly unproven.

Objection C: The "kids are too young to bear that quantity of responsibility (e.g. for a kid of their own). Well, okay, I'll buy that. (Though the Admiral Farragut example would be a bit of contrary evidence for that claim.) But, funny thing is, you can have sex without it yielding kids.

And sex education isn't rocket science: Its "if you put this bit here, and you don't put that bit there, this little bit here is going to become a kid." And the economics of childrearing isn't that hard to get across either: here's how much a kid (you) cost me when you arrived (show bills, declining bank balance, etc.).

Objection 😨 STDs. Pretty easy education, too. "This is your penis. This is your penis on gonorrhea."

"Wade" wrote:



A. I'll skip this one as it depends on your religion. With all due respect to people's religion here, this is between you and your God(s) or Goddess.

B. Obvious. Non-consensual sex should be prosecuted (as it already is).

C. Well said. But like I say, if your kid is biologically ready but not emotionally, mentally ready, then you failed as a parent. Contraceptives work when combined and applied properly. Like I said, bigger risk for teenagers is getting killed in a car crash.

D. Yes. That scared the hell out of me. Especially when I had a friend explain graphically how they cured it. Yikes. Made me wear condoms every time and only pick the "safer" sex partners.
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4PackGirl
14 years ago
i really don't know how to respond to you zombie. i didn't realize we were talking about 'responsible sex' vs 'irresponsible sex'. i thought we were simply discussing teen sex in general. i never said at any time that i had 'irresponsible' sex as a teen - just that i had 'sex' as a teen. for you to even suggest that your parents were somehow 'better' than mine when we were talking about two different things made me chuckle. that was quite an audacious remark to make but hey - it's your opinion & you're entitled to it - as am i.
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