a few from Winston Churchill
The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative.
Lady Nancy Astor: Winston, if I were your wife, Iād poison your tea.
Churchill: Nancy, if I were your husband, Iād drink it
Bessie Braddock: Sir, you are drunk.
Churchill: And you, madam, are ugly. But in the morning, I shall be sober.
Young man (after seeing Churchill leave the bathroom without washing his hands): At Eton they taught us to wash our hands after using the toilet.
Churchill: At Harrow they taught us not to piss on our hands.
He looks like a female llama who has been surprised in the bath. (Referring to Charles De Gaulle)
Winston Churchill: Madam, would you sleep with me for five million pounds?
Woman: My goodness, Mr. Churchillā¦ Well, I supposeā¦ we would have to discuss terms, of courseā¦
Churchill: Would you sleep with me for five pounds?
Woman: Mr. Churchill, what kind of woman do you think I am?!
Churchill: Madam, weāve already established that. Now we are haggling about the price.