Diminishing your own problems doesn't make them any less real, Kevin, nor does it honestly make them any easier to bear. You have strengths and weaknesses they don't. How your problems affect you is every bit as real and intense as the way their problems affect them.

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Not everything the happens around your life is of your own making.. you speak of the above and your father as you are positive you could have made a difference.

Walking around in life, taking ownership for all trials associated around your life isn't healthy and will never lead to a life where you become at peace with yourself.

Own what is yours.. accept the rest and deal with them as best as one could. Turn the page to today.. and plan forward. Learn from the past.. down live in it.

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I agree 100%!
This was more what i meant when i said "everyone has problems". Not that i was making light of yours, Kevin.
I KNOW that there are MANY people that have it worse then i do. I KNOW that. But that doesn't comfort me much when i see such a screwed up problem, that seems to have no solution.
As you having to deal with what's currently bothering you, you look at it and say "Why am i complaining?" But your problems are affecting you. How can you just ignore that? Fact is, no one can. Why do you think so many people drink or do drugs? It's to escape their problems. Of course, they are still there when you sober up.
Makes me wish i could drink.
lol

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Believe me Zero, I don't feel sorry for you one bit. Like you say you made your bed. The part of the big picture I don't think you see is that you are just a pawn in this life. I think you are realizing that you don't control a fucking thing in this world.

You can do everything right and still be a fuckup. You can be a fool and covet other people's goods. You can gain the world and lose your soul. But this is this real secret to happiness: be comfortable in your own skin. Know yourself. The demons from your past will always come back at you. Know how to overcome them, but only you have those answers.

I should be downstairs watching Skinemacs right now but one of my brothers is in pain, and I need to give back. That and you are pretty righteous guy that I care about.

Please don't feel sorry for me. For some reason, I was chosen to carry very heavy burdens in this life. But I have a very good life and I am surrounded by loving people, and I have found ways to overcome those "why me" moments. You will too. Believe me dude, we are very lucky men - every one of us - even the cat that looks like Paul Williams. Quit bitchin Cheesey - if I had your mop I'd have been a rock star.

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A long time ago I started believing that God only puts me through what he knows I can handle. Essentially, if I can't handle it, he wouldn't put it on my plate.

I feel like I'm unraveling at the seams and I'm not sure how to stop it. I want to open up, but how do I know others won't take that as a sign of weakness and use it to hurt me later like most have in my life? Is the reward worth the risk?

Realizing the no control might be a huge factor in this. I don't know when this roller coaster is going to end, when it's highs will come, when the lows will come and I'm constantly bracing for the worst instead of enjoying it. I worry about losing my job and how I'll support my daughters. When it was just me, living out of a car was acceptable, but I can't do that now.


I'll try to open up here ... I just have to think of the words and how to ink them down. I don't know what will come from it, good or bad, but come to think of it ... I don't think it can be worse than how I'm feeling already.

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Dont EVER feel like your problems are less than anyone elses..Those are YOUR worries and no one can diminish how it makes you feel...

I couldnt do what you did this summer, move away from your home to start over, I would be to scared, but you found the courage to do it..

I for one understand that all the little things no matter how small they seem, turn into a snow ball effect.

You and I will always have our drag out fights because we are so much a like..But one thing I think can help you is this...

Take the one thing that is weighing on your mind the most and try to fix it, or put a plan in motion to fix it..Dont try to tackle everything at once, prob to hard to do..

Then just go down the list..Till you start to feel better

Maybe you need to talk to someone, most businesses have a # to call to just talk..

But dont let it bottle up inside that is the WORSE thing you can do

you need my resume brother. I do business the old school way, a hand shake and a promise. been burned plenty of times, will be burned plenty more. I take pride in what i do, and i have references.

you have mad skills, and like you said, you control your life, so take control. never understood why you left. VB programmers are highly sought after in Milwaukee. I was gonna suggest Assurant Health Care, they constantly run ads.

How many hillbilly's from WI earn computer science degrees and stay in WI.

answer= none! well until 2014 @ least!

take care
peace out
the one and only die hard packer

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Funny you mention Milwaukee. I was offered a job there based on my resume, but I said no 'its too far from home'.

Months later, I move 1,131 miles from home.

My plan is to move back after my two years are up and I'll probably land somewhere in Milwaukee. I'm hoping they get the Packers games on the local networks so I won't have to get DirecTV.

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Packer games are on local channels, if not they get the fed from ESPN or NFLN


TBH Packers here get lot of coverage even weekly shows

I completely understand trust issues, especially considering the father issue...

You know...sometimes I almost feel embarrassed at how lucky I am. I daren't ever take advantage of it. I am just very thankful.

I see this site as 150 (regular core members) individuals all with a story, stories that can't be measured against one another because they have their own magnitude. The common interest we have is the Packers, but beyond that...

I talk to people here that, if proximity wasn't an issue, i'd have as physical friends that I invite into my home, share a beer with, talk life love and what have you. Iv'e probably said that to Zombieslayer, Packers Finland, NSD and a few others and I wouldn't say that if I didn't mean it; one of my flaws is telling people exactly what I think ALL the darn time, and in some cases having a running commentary. (*Blocks Nerdmann*)

Good people can be found everywhere, across every medium, as can people with other motives etc.

I have always found that in terms of actions, the unexpected occurs everywhere be it that which is around you physically, and that which occurs over the phone/internet etc.

You only ever have your intuition and a track record to go by, and to be frank, most of the members on this website are good, understanding and helpful people. People i'd want as close friends.

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