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Wade
Veteran Member

14 years ago

I think y'all may be putting the cart before the horse here. While Kevin may or may not have more of the law on his side than he thinks (I"m inclined to agree with Rourke on this), I don't think that should be governing here unless Kevin really, really, really, really (x 100x) wants this job because he's been orgasming over the possibilities.

At some point one may need legal action in the case of the recalcitrant mother, it is unwise to assume that that's going to be necessary. Because the reality is, if you have to litigate, both sides have already lost. Family law litigation may have winners and losers, but it rarely has happy endings.

Going adversarial (which is what litigation is all about) is applicable only where things about this situation are already completely fucked up. At least based on what you've said here, Kevin, thats not obviously the case.

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
Romans 12:2 (NKJV)

digsthepack
Registered

14 years ago

#32

Some thoughts...some original, some not so.....

1. CO is a great place to live, with wonderful recreation and lifestyle options...and I am not talking "lifestyle" when I say that.

2. In this economy, one must go where the work is. In my mind, nobody is entitled to live in one place their entire lives if they wish to remain in decent employment. Geography is not a birthright!

3. How good is the life of your child if you are out of work in a crap economy....stressed out and potentially angry. Not able to provide the security you surely wish to provide.

4. This may be a bit controversial, but here it goes. One of the greatest mistakes we as a society, and hence as individuals, have made is putting our children on a pedestal and placing them over the needs of the parent or parents. You need to be good to yourself, so that you can be good to your child. How many couple are so stressed out because they are non-stop chaeuffers (sp) for thier children's activity schedule? How many couples shut down with one another because they have essentially elevated the child over their own well being? How many couple's sex lives are non-existent because they make no time for it because of the child? Probably not as eloquent as I would like to make it, but I think you get my drift.

5. Children are VERY resilient.

6. The day you ask your child for permission to undertake big life changes that are necessary for adults, is the day you relinquish your parental authority over that child. Never a good thing, and potentially leads to bigger issues down the road.

7. Discuss it with your child, tell her about all the wonderful new friends, experiences, etc. that this move will bring for both of you.

State Motto: "Wisconsin, our serial murderers eat their kill!"

Zero2Cool
Elite Member Topic Starter

14 years ago

#33

6. ... yes ... I have a problem of asking for permission on a lot of things that I shouldn't ... and then at times doing it how I feel is best regardless. Major human flaw.

zombieslayer
Registered

14 years ago

#34

"digsthepack" wrote:

+1. Dang good post.

A bunch of the statements you made are spot on. Kids need to toughen up.

The economy is going to get tougher, not better. The generation before us had it better than us. That's not bitching. That's fact.

American corporations don't give a flying fuck about you. You're a number, and when the number looks bad, they'll replace you with someone from India or China if you're white collar or an illegal from Mexico if you're blue collar.

If kids are sheltered and catered to their whole lives, they won't be ready for what's coming. Get them used to moving around. Get them used to dealing with harsh reality. I don't mean being a jerk to them, but giving them a sheltered life is much more damaging than we realize.

Be thankful if you have any job security. Last two times I thought I had it, we got bought out and I was without a job shortly after that.

Also now that you're making a nice wad of money, keep 6 months of cash at all times. Everyone needs to do this.

My man Donald Driver

(thanks to Pack93z for the pic)
2010 will be seen as the beginning of the new Packers dynasty. 🇹🇹 🇲🇲 🇦🇷

digsthepack
Registered

14 years ago

#35

Thanks, zombie! Yes, children must be exposed, and not hidden from, reality....lest it bitch slap them when suddenly thrust into the world as a young adult, sending them back into Mom and Dad's basement not long thereafter.

State Motto: "Wisconsin, our serial murderers eat their kill!"

dhazer
Veteran Member

14 years ago

#36

I would hold out and tell them you will go if the NFL Sunday ticket was paid for by the company 😃

Just Imagine this for the next 6-9 years. What a ride it will be 🙂 (PS, Zero should charge for this)

Zero2Cool
Elite Member Topic Starter

14 years ago

#37

I would hold out and tell them you will go if the NFL Sunday ticket was paid for by the company :D

"dhazer" wrote:

lol already looked into the pricing for it 🙂

Yes, many good points that I've touched on mentally but it sure helps a more reading it from others point of views. I appreciate everyones time and comments. If you have more, I'm all ears.

Cheesey
Preferred Member

14 years ago

#38

If it were me, the big thing would be the legality of moving your daughter out of state. I'm not sure what the whole legal status is.
If you can take her, then most likely it's best to go where the job takes you. Nowadays, a job is not easy to come by. Especially one that pays decently.

I myself would find it very hard to move out of Wisconsin. Then again, i have never been valued enough by anybody to make a big money offer to get me to go anywhere else. If it was good enough, i bet i could be persuaded.

Nonstopdrivel
Preferred Member

14 years ago

#39

I would take that a step farther, Alan. If it were necessary for me to be separated temporarily from my daughter in order to secure the employment necessary to eventually secure more permanent custody of her, I would consider that a worthwhile sacrifice.

dfosterf
Veteran Member

14 years ago

#40

Seems to me that the next logical step is to discuss this with your daughter's mom-- Not as any sort of fait accompli, but rather as the partners that you remain in the upbringing of Keiana. If it were me, I would sit down with mom and explain the situation in it's totality, BEFORE making any commitments to anyone else. Of course I don't know your dynamic with the mom either, but it seems to me that if you make a decision without her active participation in the process you are somewhat more likely to CREATE an adversarial condition when one might have been avoided. I think it would be important to give the mom the opportunity to "work it through" in her mind, as are you.

It is a HUGE step for any mom to "allow" her child to move out of state...

I would have to think that any dad would need to work extra hard to make sure that mom is comfortable with the idea and the arrangements.

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