wpr
  • wpr
  • Preferred Member Topic Starter
13 years ago
I have a nephew who is a very brilliant kid but right now is acting like a little sh!-. He dad was going to take him out to Colorado this summer and let him run in the mountains. It is a goal that my nephew has. He was so disrespectful to his teachers (and family) this year that my brother cancelled the trip.

My nephew has been pouting and sulking and nasty for 2 months. He has tried to run away from home a couple of times during the school year. His idea was to live in a cave that is about 6 miles from the school, run to school. Shower there and run back to the cave after classes were over. Well someone, I think grandma, convinced him not to do that.

This past Tuesday after his last class was over he hitchhiked to the closest bus terminal and got on a bus headed to Denver. Thursday afternoon, on a borrowed phone, he called my brother's office and told his secretary that he was in Denver and hung up before she could say anything.

He was wearing a t shirt and running shorts. I think it was in the low 40's at that time. No coat. After a woman came out of the store (she saw him in the parking lot on her way in.) and was heading home she saw him hitchhiking at night. She got him in the car and took him to her place fed him dinner and let him talk for awhile. He borrowed her phone and text his dad that he was warm, dry and fed and not to call the number.

Over dinner he was telling this lady that he was headed for Alma, CO. She looked at him and told him that the pass was probably closed. There is still 10 feet of snow on the ground up there. He said he didn't care and he was going anyway. She said that her husband could probably take him up in the morning on his way to work but it was not a good idea. He needed to go to the library and research this a little more. No he was going no matter what.

Later in the evening my brother texted her a few times before she realized my nephew was a run away. He may be 17 1/2 but he is still a minor. She gave my brother her address and he called the sheriff's office out there. They picked him up. I have another nephew, his older brother, and he flew from Phoenix this morning to get him. Apparently the Alma area had one of it's worst winters this year. They got about 400 inches of snow. Of course it is not all still on the ground. But the runoff form the melting snow is making things a real mess.

I love my nephew like he is my own son. The past few days have been extremely hard on everyone. My brother and mother the most. I think my nephew till wants to run around the world. Kill game on his run. clean it and cook it right on the spot. Everyone has told him so many times in so many ways why this will not work. ESPECIALLY for a 18 year old is he lives that long. He idolizes Christopher McCandless (Into the Wild). It doesn't matter to him that McCandless died on his trek. My nephew thinks he knows more than Chris did and can do it better.

I regret helping him get his Eagle Scout badge.
UserPostedImage
Nonstopdrivel
13 years ago
I am glad your nephew made it home safe. There are few things more terrifying to a family than the loss of a child. If you don't mind my asking, why was his father texting the woman instead of calling her? Calling would seem to me a much more expeditious way of taking care of the situation.

That being said, I do believe that one of the reasons modern teenagers are so bitter is that adults spend years telling them what they can't do, instead of encouraging them to pursue their dreams, no matter how reckless they might seem, and facilitating ways to help them fulfill their ambitions. In the case of your nephew, it is true he is being a spoiled little shit, but as you point out, he idolizes Christopher McCandless. No doubt the raw masculinity of this adventurer appeals to him, even though the adventure resulted in his death. Surviving in the wilderness has long been test of manhood; the Apaches, for example, had a coming-of-age ritual in which every young man to survive on his own for weeks in the desert, taking nothing with him but his bow and arrow. Instead of telling your nephew he "can't" survive off the land, a feat that has been accomplished many times in human history, perhaps the family would be better to recognize that this dream is something that truly means a lot to the boy -- and look for ways to help him attain it. For example, he could be told that if he settles down, gets good grades, and obtains a job, every dollar he saves toward survival and wilderness training will be matched by the family. I would be willing to wager almost anything that his attitude would change instantly and he would work his ass off toward conquering this challenge.

Teenagers are full of energy and hormones and grand schemes. They long to accomplish great deeds and leave a legacy for themselves. (Armies in years past were sometimes lead -- to victory -- by boys who had not yet reached their 17th birthday!) Modern teenagers, by contrast, are put down, treated like little kids, and told they are inept and stupid. Whereas teenagers in years past were a vital part of the family team, teens today have literally no function. They are little more than a drain on the family finances -- and what's worse, they know it. It's no wonder they get frustrated, bitter, rebellious, and withdrawn. Instead of keeping them under our thumbs, I believe we should be kicking them out into the world to achieve the greatness only people with boundless energy and enthusiasm can do.

My heroes are Marianne and Laurence Sunderland, who not only allowed, they encouraged their 16-year-old daughter Abby to sail around the world. Yes, she ultimately failed in her attempt, but she survived, and she will carry that experience with her the rest of her life. She will be filled with courage and self-confidence, and she will no doubt achieve whatever she sets her mind to do. That is the parent I want to be for my boys.

None of this is meant as an attack on your family as they grapple with an incredibly difficult situation. It is merely offered as an alternative perspective. Your nephew clearly has the potential for greatness. He just needs to learn some discipline, to channel his drives responsibly and productively. Giving him positive motivation to do so may be just the ticket your family is looking for.

EDIT: Here is a link to a story about 17-year-old boy whose clothing line, which he founded at age 15, netted five figures this year .
UserPostedImage
Pack93z
13 years ago



That being said, I do believe that one of the reasons modern teenagers are so bitter is that adults spend years telling them what they can't do, instead of encouraging them to pursue their dreams, no matter how reckless they might seem, and facilitating ways to help them fulfill their ambitions. In the case of your nephew, it is true he is being a spoiled little shit, but as you point out, he idolizes Christopher McCandless. No doubt the raw masculinity of this adventurer appeals to him, even though the adventure resulted in his death. Surviving in the wilderness has long been test of manhood; the Apaches, for example, had a coming-of-age ritual in which every young man to survive on his own for weeks in the desert, taking nothing with him but his bow and arrow. Instead of telling your nephew he "can't" survive off the land, a feat that has been accomplished many times in human history, perhaps the family would be better to recognize that this dream is something that truly means a lot to the boy -- and look for ways to help him attain it. For example, he could be told that if he settles down, gets good grades, and obtains a job, every dollar he saves toward survival and wilderness training will be matched by the family. I would be willing to wager almost anything that his attitude would change instantly and he would work his ass off toward conquering this challenge.

Originally Posted by: Nonstopdrivel 



As I read the initial post.. the boys father did have a trip planned so he could pursue his ambitions, but by his own actions lost out on said trip.

I have a nephew who is a very brilliant kid but right now is acting like a little sh!-. He dad was going to take him out to Colorado this summer and let him run in the mountains. It is a goal that my nephew has. He was so disrespectful to his teachers (and family) this year that my brother cancelled the trip.


Personally that is the issue with youth today.. many lack discipline and have little moral boundaries.. so I applaud wpr's brother for making a stand.

You speak of discipline in your final paragraph.. IMO, that is what wpr's brother was trying to instill in the first place.

Anyway.. glad he is safe at this point and wish your family well in the next 6 months... sounds like it may be a struggle.
"The oranges are dry; the apples are mealy; and the papayas... I don't know what's going on with the papayas!"
wpr
  • wpr
  • Preferred Member Topic Starter
13 years ago
Nonstop, thank you for your concern. A few quick comments (and this is not to criticize you at all) There is a lot more to the story than I posted:

1 He is not home yet. My older nephew is taking him back to his place in AZ. My brother and sister in law will fly out on Tue to get him. (edit- my brother changed his mind and is going tonight.)

2. As Pack93 pointed out my brother does a lot to empower him. More than most parents would ever consider. More than I did for my son. Heck my brother was originally going to let him either run or bike all the way out to Colorado. All my nephew had to do was back down and treat his teachers decently and the trip was back on. He was going to live out there for a whole month. My brother would spend part of the time with him. His older brother and cousins would be out there part of the time. Maybe I would be out there. A few of his classmates and their dads part of the time. Even after the trip was called off, my brother was going to let him go into the Upper Peninsula Michigan. He could run from here (Northern Illinois) to around the Green Bay area. My mother would pick him up at a prearranged spot and they could finish the trip to her cabin. He could then run all over the UP for a month. My brother offered him chance after chance to do something else that he wanted. Almost anything BUT Colorado. He had to take responsibly for his attitude. Last summer my brother let him run from their house down to Moline. It was about 100 miles. He even submitted the story to the local paper for my nephew.

3. My nephew thinks it is stupid for people to get married and settle down and have families. It deprives you of being able to do what you want whenever you want. (He was specifically targeting his sister who has a master's degree. She who got married a few years ago and has two young kids. Her husband also has his masters degree and is successful.) BTW, her husband is a triathlete and wanted my nephew to come out their place for the summer. Train with him and work around their farmette.

4. I agree that many young men have gone off and lived on their own for weeks as a right of passage. I am all for it. BUT you do not want to see city kids who have next to no training wandering off on their own. My brother and nephew do not hunt. My nephew has not cleaned his catch (other than some fish. And he has no tackle with him at this time.) My son (6 years in the Army and a tour in Afghanistan) offered to take him into the wild and teach him a few things about survival. My nephew scoffed at the notion that he needed to learn anything. Sure his has gone camping but it is very different than living off the land.

5. It was my brother at first then many of us tried to show him that he needed to plan things out a little better. We were telling him where some of the pitfalls may be in his logic. He was just too arrogant to listen to anyone. the more people told him why he was making a mistake, the more convinced his was that he had to do this because he knew better.

6. By the way, he did not buckle down and work on his grades when given the chance to fulfill some of his dreams. He resented the fact that there were any strings attached to his life whatsoever.
UserPostedImage
4PackGirl
13 years ago
that boy needs a damn reality check!! if one of mine pulled that shit, they'd be IN the shit - BIG TIME!! i'd give my pig farmer friend a call & he'd be workin in pig shit the ENTIRE summer! and whatever he made would pay for the plane tickets to go pick his ass up. wow - maybe i really AM a bitch!?! lol.
68md
13 years ago

that boy needs a damn reality check!! if one of mine pulled that shit, they'd be IN the shit - BIG TIME!! i'd give my pig farmer friend a call & he'd be workin in pig shit the ENTIRE summer! and whatever he made would pay for the plane tickets to go pick his ass up. wow - maybe i really AM a bitch!?! lol.

Originally Posted by: 4PackGirl 



Far from it.... trying to teach your kids that every action has a reaction is priceless !
wpr
  • wpr
  • Preferred Member Topic Starter
13 years ago

that boy needs a damn reality check!! if one of mine pulled that shit, they'd be IN the shit - BIG TIME!! i'd give my pig farmer friend a call & he'd be workin in pig shit the ENTIRE summer! and whatever he made would pay for the plane tickets to go pick his ass up. wow - maybe i really AM a bitch!?! lol.

Originally Posted by: 4PackGirl 



It is interesting PG. Every single "mother" type was 1000 times harder on my brother to DO SOMETHING RIGHT NOW!!!!! than what the men were. This includes my niece, the daughter in law even a close friend of the family. Just get in your car and start driving and go get him. The men were more along the lines of "let's wait and see. He will turn up somewhere in a day or two. Then we can decide what needs to be done."
UserPostedImage
4PackGirl
13 years ago

It is interesting PG. Every single "mother" type was 1000 times harder on my brother to DO SOMETHING RIGHT NOW!!!!! than what the men were. This includes my niece, the daughter in law even a close friend of the family. Just get in your car and start driving and go get him. The men were more along the lines of "let's wait and see. He will turn up somewhere in a day or two. Then we can decide what needs to be done."

Originally Posted by: wpr 



hmmm that is very interesting. i mentioned the story to the hubby last nite & he pretty much felt the same way i did. he gives jesse (my 20 year old step son) alot of freedom but he has earned it. when he screws up, the hammer comes down & comes down hard!

when i discipline the boys, i let them know that i'm pissed, disappointed, & sometimes hurt by what they did. at the same time, i also let them know that i love them & that they need to learn from their mistakes cuz that's my job. do i make mistakes? hell yes! parenting is the most rewarding & suckiest damn thing in the world. sure i'd love to be a 'friend' to my kids, let them find their own ways, never discipline them, but that's not how i was raised. i figure i turned out pretty well so my parents musta done something right. my ex's parents were 'friends' & not parents to him - he's never matured as a result. i think i'll take my upbringing over theirs anyday.
wpr
  • wpr
  • Preferred Member Topic Starter
13 years ago
I told my kids when they were teens that I was not going to try to be their friend. They have enough friends already. Things are slowly changing as they get older. Now that they are 27 and 24 I enjoy being a friend on a limited basis. It is funny the first time I got that "friend not parent" phone call. I was listening to my son and listening to him. I was looking for the problem or the need and there was none. I thought to my self, "Why is he calling me?" I wouldn't dare have asked him I was just trying to figured out the problem. The it dawned on me that he was just sharing his day with me. I started to smile. My son was growing up.

I think my 50*cough* year old sister is my mother's best friend. I think is good for both of them.
UserPostedImage
4PackGirl
13 years ago
my mom is one of my best friends...now. when i was a kid, not so much. lol. all i know is i appreciate the hell out of her now that i have my own kids. good gawd - i was a serious pain in the ass back then!! head strong, stubborn, & disrespectful. ok i'm still head strong & stubborn but never disrespectful to my mom.

oh & i don't know why i'm bringing this up but i got my mammogram done yesterday. am waiting for the results. fingers crossed peeps that nothings wrong!!
Fan Shout
Zero2Cool (2-Apr) : WR who said he'd break Xavier Worthy 40 time...and ran slower than you
Mucky Tundra (2-Apr) : Who?
Zero2Cool (2-Apr) : Texas’ WR Isaiah Bond is scheduled to visit the Bills, Browns, Chiefs, Falcons, Packers and Titans starting next week.
Zero2Cool (2-Apr) : Spotting ball isn't changing, only measuring distance is, Which wasn't the issue.
Zero2Cool (2-Apr) : The spotting of the ball IS the issue. Not the chain gang.
Mucky Tundra (2-Apr) : Will there be a tracker on the ball or something?
Zero2Cool (1-Apr) : uh oh
Martha Careful (1-Apr) : Too bad camera's can't spot the ball as well.
Mucky Tundra (1-Apr) : So will the chain gang be gone completely or will they still be around as a backup or whatever?
Zero2Cool (1-Apr) : The method for measuring first downs in the NFL will switch from chain gangs to camera-based technology in 2025, the league announced.
Martha Careful (1-Apr) : A big step in the right direction. Just put in the college system is very very good.
Zero2Cool (1-Apr) : NFL has passed a rule that allows both teams to possess the ball in OT during the regular season
Zero2Cool (1-Apr) : Touchbacks on kickoffs will now bring the ball to the 35-yard line.
beast (31-Mar) : It might of gotten more popular recently, but braiding hair (even men) in certain cultures goes back for centuries.
Martha Careful (30-Mar) : Is men braiding their hair a new style thing? Watching the NCAA men's tournament many players have done
Zero2Cool (29-Mar) : Ha. Well, it'd be nice for folks to reset their own password. Via validated email 😏
beast (29-Mar) : Monopoly was supposed to be an educational game, that show how evil capitalism was and how we should avoid it
beast (29-Mar) : Lol, I was thinking username would be better, as then I wouldn't have to keep an email up to date lol 😂
beast (29-Mar) : Zero2Cool (25-Mar) : I was thinking email because I think it'll make folks keep it up todate lol
wpr (29-Mar) : sure is
Zero2Cool (29-Mar) : Monopoly is a rip off of The Landlord's Game
wpr (27-Mar) : 28 days until the draft
earthquake (27-Mar) : Which seemed strange to my 9 year old self, that you could be a fan for a team other than the one you play for
earthquake (27-Mar) : Nothing eventful happened, other than it being clear that he was a bengals fan
earthquake (27-Mar) : And we went and hung out with him one afternoon, I must have been 9 or so
earthquake (27-Mar) : That’s wild, when I was a kid my friend lived in the same apartment complex in De Pere
Mucky Tundra (27-Mar) : Only career highspot was a 200 yard rushing game while playing for the Cardinals
Mucky Tundra (27-Mar) : He is a former Packer. Drafted out of Northern Illinois. Didn't do much in GB.
dfosterf (26-Mar) : Despicable
Zero2Cool (26-Mar) : Former NFL. I think Packers too
Zero2Cool (26-Mar) : NFL RB Leshon Johnson has been charged in a massive dog fighting operation, with the FBI seizing over 190 Pit Bulls
Mucky Tundra (26-Mar) : Some real irony of a QB as short as Wilson playing for the Giants
Mucky Tundra (26-Mar) : Giants country, let's be the tall beings of lore!
Mucky Tundra (26-Mar) : Russell Wilson signs with the Giants.
Zero2Cool (25-Mar) : I was thinking email because I think it'll make folks keep it up todate lol
wpr (25-Mar) : I don't think there is a significant difference. I use a user name for many. Others email.
Martha Careful (25-Mar) : email
Zero2Cool (25-Mar) : would it be better to use EMAIL or USERNAME to log into a site?
wpr (25-Mar) : Thanks Zero
Zero2Cool (24-Mar) : New forum has the ability to Thank a post now.
beast (24-Mar) : And the only time they have won the Championship in an even year, was the first time they did, in 2006.
beast (24-Mar) : Since 2007, there have been 10 odd numbered years, Wisconsin Women have won the Championship in 7 of those 10 odd numbered years.
buckeyepackfan (24-Mar) : Congratulations Lady Badger Hockey Team. NATIONAL CHAMPIONS!!
Zero2Cool (23-Mar) : I don't think it's completed yet. it was just announced last month, right?
dhazer (23-Mar) : did netflix ever release the Packers documentary
Zero2Cool (21-Mar) : And it is glorious!
beast (21-Mar) : Unsigned FA QB Rodgers is supposedly in the Steelers building
Martha Careful (19-Mar) : But I don't own a car! So can I still use it in my apartment?
Zero2Cool (19-Mar) : btw, new site auto updates
Zero2Cool (19-Mar) : Woohoo!
Please sign in to use Fan Shout
2024 Packers Schedule
Friday, Sep 6 @ 7:15 PM
Eagles
Sunday, Sep 15 @ 12:00 PM
COLTS
Sunday, Sep 22 @ 12:00 PM
Titans
Sunday, Sep 29 @ 12:00 PM
VIKINGS
Sunday, Oct 6 @ 3:25 PM
Rams
Sunday, Oct 13 @ 12:00 PM
CARDINALS
Sunday, Oct 20 @ 12:00 PM
TEXANS
Sunday, Oct 27 @ 12:00 PM
Jaguars
Sunday, Nov 3 @ 3:25 PM
LIONS
Sunday, Nov 17 @ 12:00 PM
Bears
Sunday, Nov 24 @ 3:25 PM
49ERS
Thursday, Nov 28 @ 7:20 PM
DOLPHINS
Thursday, Dec 5 @ 7:15 PM
Lions
Sunday, Dec 15 @ 7:20 PM
Seahawks
Monday, Dec 23 @ 7:15 PM
SAINTS
Sunday, Dec 29 @ 3:25 PM
Vikings
Sunday, Jan 5 @ 12:00 PM
BEARS
Sunday, Jan 12 @ 3:30 PM
Eagles
Recent Topics
2-Apr / Green Bay Packers Talk / Zero2Cool

2-Apr / Green Bay Packers Talk / bboystyle

1-Apr / Green Bay Packers Talk / Mucky Tundra

1-Apr / Green Bay Packers Talk / wpr

31-Mar / Green Bay Packers Talk / Zero2Cool

30-Mar / Green Bay Packers Talk / Zero2Cool

29-Mar / Random Babble / wpr

28-Mar / Feedback, Suggestions and Issues / dfosterf

28-Mar / Random Babble / Martha Careful

26-Mar / Random Babble / Mucky Tundra

25-Mar / Random Babble / Martha Careful

24-Mar / Random Babble / packerfanoutwest

24-Mar / Random Babble / Zero2Cool

21-Mar / Green Bay Packers Talk / Zero2Cool

19-Mar / Green Bay Packers Talk / Zero2Cool

Headlines
Copyright © 2006 - 2025 PackersHome.com™. All Rights Reserved.