I am glad your nephew made it home safe. There are few things more terrifying to a family than the loss of a child. If you don't mind my asking, why was his father texting the woman instead of calling her? Calling would seem to me a much more expeditious way of taking care of the situation.
That being said, I do believe that one of the reasons modern teenagers are so bitter is that adults spend years telling them what they can't do, instead of encouraging them to pursue their dreams, no matter how reckless they might seem, and facilitating ways to help them fulfill their ambitions. In the case of your nephew, it is true he is being a spoiled little shit, but as you point out, he idolizes Christopher McCandless. No doubt the raw masculinity of this adventurer appeals to him, even though the adventure resulted in his death. Surviving in the wilderness has long been test of manhood; the Apaches, for example, had a coming-of-age ritual in which every young man to survive on his own for weeks in the desert, taking nothing with him but his bow and arrow. Instead of telling your nephew he "can't" survive off the land, a feat that has been accomplished many times in human history, perhaps the family would be better to recognize that this dream is something that truly means a lot to the boy -- and look for ways to help him attain it. For example, he could be told that if he settles down, gets good grades, and obtains a job, every dollar he saves toward survival and wilderness training will be matched by the family. I would be willing to wager almost anything that his attitude would change instantly and he would work his ass off toward conquering this challenge.
Teenagers are full of energy and hormones and grand schemes. They long to accomplish great deeds and leave a legacy for themselves. (Armies in years past were sometimes lead -- to victory -- by boys who had not yet reached their 17th birthday!) Modern teenagers, by contrast, are put down, treated like little kids, and told they are inept and stupid. Whereas teenagers in years past were a vital part of the family team, teens today have literally no function. They are little more than a drain on the family finances -- and what's worse, they know it. It's no wonder they get frustrated, bitter, rebellious, and withdrawn. Instead of keeping them under our thumbs, I believe we should be kicking them out into the world to achieve the greatness only people with boundless energy and enthusiasm can do.
My heroes are Marianne and Laurence Sunderland, who not only allowed, they
encouraged their 16-year-old daughter Abby to sail around the world. Yes, she ultimately failed in her attempt, but she survived, and she will carry that experience with her the rest of her life. She will be filled with courage and self-confidence, and she will no doubt achieve whatever she sets her mind to do. That is the parent I want to be for my boys.
None of this is meant as an attack on your family as they grapple with an incredibly difficult situation. It is merely offered as an alternative perspective. Your nephew clearly has the potential for greatness. He just needs to learn some discipline, to channel his drives responsibly and productively. Giving him positive motivation to do so may be just the ticket your family is looking for.
EDIT: Here is a link to a story about 17-year-old boy whose clothing line, which he founded at age 15,
netted five figures this year .