IMO, wouldn't it be the correct course of action to properly communicate with your mate to resolve the underlying issues before just stepping out to fulfill your primal wants or needs?
Just straying from your commitment seems like the easy way out..
"pack93z" wrote:
I agree wholeheartedly. As I said in that other thread, cheating is breaking the rules of your relationship. I'm very much against cheating, regardless of what the rules of your relationship are. (If your rules are you can't even flirt, then don't flirt.) By the same token, if you can't abide by the rules you've agreed to, you need to either end the relationship or renegotiate the rules.
I'm talking here about spouses who spitefully and maliciously withhold sexual relations, which are part of the agreement when you contract a marriage. In that case, the withholding spouse is also in breach of contract. So I think the offended spouse should be able to say, "Look, I married you because I love you and want to be with you, and I still do. But you have grown cold and distant and frankly, I'm lonely. If you can't provide that for me anymore, I'm going to look elsewhere."
If the spouse's pride won't allow that, then in my opinion, the right thing to do is simply to release the spouse from their marital bond to you.
Obviously, the situation is different in cases of, say, diabetes or spinal injury that cause impotence or radical hysterectomies that can destroy a woman's ability to be aroused. Martin Luther would argue that in that case, the compassionate thing is to allow the spouse to pursue their needs elsewhere, but it's certainly no moral obligation. That would be between the spouses -- and, as I said, would have to be done with
mutual consent. I think personally, if I were incapacitated, I would make such a concession, though it wouldn't be easy for me, but I certainly don't think anyone else should feel obligated to. It's not like such a concession would be license to engage in sexual profligacy (any more than an "open" relationship is); there would still have to be accountability, respect, and understanding.