vikesrule
14 years ago

I have a hard time believing a chick with the name Abishag the Shunammite was beautiful. By whose standards?

"zombieslayer" wrote:



When King David grew older, his courtiers felt he needed a young woman to keep him warm at night as his final days approached.
They wanted to find a beautiful girl to become his companion even though he had a vast number of wives and concubines already as part of his harem.
They choose Abishag the Sunammite to take on the responsibility and she is brought to the king.
She becomes the king's attendant and she is stunning , young and a fat chick with great hands.

"Gospel according to Paul" wrote:

Pack93z
  • Pack93z
  • Select Member Topic Starter
14 years ago

:face1:

Shawn, Shawn, Shawn.
What are you doing is reading / linking to that ass-clown website, newsmax.com.
This causes me great concern for your well-being, my friend


Newsmax.com actually makes Fox news look fair and balanced.
It is filled with neo-con twits and ass kissers.

Here are just some of their "contributors"..

"vikesrule" wrote:



Yeah.. against my better principles. but first I had heard that they were looking at this methods again for further taxation of my dollars.

In hindsight.. it allowed for a gang up on Dakota which was humorous.
"The oranges are dry; the apples are mealy; and the papayas... I don't know what's going on with the papayas!"
Cheesey
14 years ago
Tax "scheme" pretty much sums up what it is.
Just ANOTHER attempt at digging into our pockets.
I bet soon they will tax us by the size of our turds.
"YOU! The one that just took the extra large DUMP! That costs us more to get rid of it, so we are taxing you $30 for disposal!!!"
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Formo
14 years ago


Formo, it's awfully nice of your government subsidized Native American friends to give you tax free auto parts, but you might want to check into your state use tax laws and fill out their voluntary remittance form, just to be compliant and honorable. I do care about your character after all.

"DakotaT" wrote:



You missed the part where I said it is a legitimate shop. Not to mention there IS tax on the parts, and I DID pay them. I just didn't pay the tax on the labor. Also would like to add that the overall price for having what I needed done was about half what any major shop would charge me at. Labor wasn't $100/hour like it is at dealerships/major shops.

Probably because they operate on taxed free land, therefor having no need to charge an obscene amount for labor and good deals on parts.
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zombieslayer
14 years ago

I have a hard time believing a chick with the name Abishag the Shunammite was beautiful. By whose standards?

"vikesrule" wrote:



When King David grew older, his courtiers felt he needed a young woman to keep him warm at night as his final days approached.
They wanted to find a beautiful girl to become his companion even though he had a vast number of wives and concubines already as part of his harem.
They choose Abishag the Sunammite to take on the responsibility and she is brought to the king.
She becomes the king's attendant and she is stunning , young and a fat chick with great hands.

"zombieslayer" wrote:

"Gospel according to Paul" wrote:



I stand by defending that statement years ago. If you had a massage from that particular fat woman, you'd understand. Especially at your age for I can probably safely assume you're in more physical pain than I am in.

But massages != sex. Apples and oranges. I can't imagine having sex with a woman named Abishag.
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DakotaT
14 years ago
Abi Shags would be a good porn name. Use your imaginations boys.

Hot women do not need to be able to give massages. Fat chicks do and they appreciate the love much more, so I'm told.
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Nonstopdrivel
14 years ago

BAR 37:03, May/Jun 2011
The Bible In the News: Whos Afraid of Abishag?
 
By Leonard J. Greenspoon

Abishag? Abishag the Shunammite? If the name doesnt ring a bell, do not despair. The young woman with this name makes only a brief appearance in the Hebrew Bible, in the first two chapters of the First Book of Kings, during the story of the succession of power from David to Solomon. Perhaps because of her roleto provide warmth to the aging (no, aged) David (1 Kings 1:14)she has assumed far greater prominence in the post-Biblical, especially modern, world than she did in antiquity. Based on numerous references to her in the press, however, it is uncertain whether she would have been flattered, or flattened, by this enhanced notoriety.

According to some commentators (this particular example comes from The Times of London), Abishag was the first in a perennial series: As for elderly men, the joys of young lovelies are obvious. Ever since the elderly King David was comforted by the young Abishag, men have loved young women. While not wishing to criticize this writer for his turns of phrases, we cannot as easily overlook his lack of Biblical insight: It is precisely the fact that David was not sufficiently comforted by Abishag that signaled his impending loss of power and death.

In this sense, a writer for Thailands The Nation may be closer to the mark. In an article titled A Different Goal for Pel an Older Ball Game, highlighting the soccer greats activities as spokesperson about erectile dysfunction (E.D.), we read: King David suffered the same fate [E.D.] after sending his loyal soldier, Uriah, into a suicidal battle so he could claim Uriahs wife, Bathsheba. This ploy angered the Lord, who punished David by taking away his sword, both literally and figuratively. He was forced to relinquish the throne after his advisers presented him with the young virgin Abishag, but the king knew her not (1 Kings 1:4) because he was unable to perform.
The spare Biblical account of 1 Kings gets drawn out and spiced up in all sorts of ways in its retelling. This is how a columnist for The Jerusalem Post relays the story as portrayed in a televised interpretation of Yaacov Shabtais A Crown on the Head: While wanting to get the crown off [Davids] head, they dont grudge him other favors. They have brought Abishag the Shunammite to him in the hope that she will warm the old king enough to restore his potency, but all she does is giggle and chatter away in Shunammitish ... habits which would undermine the sexual efforts of a far younger man than David. Shunammitish? Now theres a language that is ripe for revival.

Elsewhere, the hard-working Abishag is spoken of as King Davids bed warmer (The Jerusalem Post), a teenage babe [to Davids sugar daddy] (The Guardian of London) and the kings hot-water bottle. The latter epithet, we learn from The Jerusalem Post, comes from a poem by Itsik Manger that begins (as recorded in Newsweek): The witch that came (the withered hag) / To wash the stairs with pail and rag / Was once the beauty Abishag. I dont know about you, but for me this is all a bit harsh for a young lady who was just trying to get a days (or a nights) worth of work done.

And what does the name Abishag actually mean anyway? Although there is a bit of uncertainty about this, it is clear that the first part (Abi), in common with the names of many Biblical characters, can be translated my father. The shag part appears to come from a root meaning to wander or go astray. Even with the possibly unsavory connotations of this name, some of us, myself included, may bemoan the fact that Abishag does not show up on any contemporary list of the most common names for baby girls. When asked why no one is named Abishag (or Job or Ham or Japheth) anymore, a correspondent for The Washington Post magazine opines: Because those names sound stupid. Today we name our children Skylar, Jazlyn, Kaydence and Bristol. With offense toward none and open-mindedness toward all, allow me to suggest that the world could probably use an Abishag or two just about now!



On one site, I saw Abishag rendered as "Ignorance of the Father." On another, "Straying Father." On still another, "Father of (i.e., 'given to') error." And yet another, "My father strays."

What a bizarre name all around.
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zombieslayer
14 years ago
'Tis a bizarre name indeed. Note that they mentioned she was a virgin. I bet there was a very good reason for it. I think the reason he thought she was beautiful was because he was old and his eyesight was completely shot.

And no, Dakota, even splitting the name doesn't do it. Shag is a British term and the British are about the least sexy people in Europe.
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Rockmolder
14 years ago
What? I'm going in here, hoping to find an interesting discussion about the new mileage tax, hoping to see some terms flying around like slavery, communism, Fox news etc, but wander into a discussion about Abishag?

I'm thoroughly dissapointed.
zombieslayer
14 years ago
Rock - you should know how we think. You created us.

Don't you know that every topic goes from original topic > sex?
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