Today, Julie and I took our 6 year daughter for an MRI on her brain to rule out anything that might be causing her recent series of headaches. We received the worst possible news in that she has a tumor at the base of her brain near the spinal cord. It would explain her nausea and headaches and coordination problems. We won't know anymore about the prognosis until we get to Mayo.

What I don't understand is why things like this happen to absolutely innocent people. I don't have Cheesey's faith and beliefs, and I don't have Non's problem solving intellect. What I am is a person who has tried to live a good life and take my lumps where they come. I just didn't see this one coming and I'm at a loss on how to go about handling things. I definitely could use a little help from all of you in the prayer department.

We'll know more tomorrow about scheduling at Mayo. Sorry Formo, another trip to Minnesota and I won't be able to take you out for a beer.

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While reading that, I had the thought 'God is cruel' run through my head. It's devastating news and I feel bad for her.

I don't know what to say and I'm 100% ignorant on tumors, but if there's any chance she can come away from this with a clean bill of health, I sincerely hope it happens swiftly.

To answer your question, I don't understand it either. Sorry bud. 😞

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My prayers are with you and your daughter. No one can explain why things happen, but believe me, prayer is a powerful source and I am sure things will turn out fine. Contrary to what many people say, the medical profession today can do miracles on stuff like this. Keep your faith and hopes up and things will turn out fine.

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i'd give you my answer but it may not be the sort of comfort or answer you are seeking, and i don't want to get into another "god vs no god" debate. however, i will tell you that my thoughts are with you...and my heart breaks for you.

this might console you at least a tiny bit: i recently had a co-worker, a few years ago, who fully recovered from spinal cancer--something which the doctors had little hope of happening. so, no matter what...don't give up hope.

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Dakota,

I have no answer for you, I'm afraid. I could speak platitudes about God working in mysterious ways, yadda yadda yadda, but I won't. IMO sometimes God seems a right bastard. And this appears to be another such case. I do believe God has His reasons for everything, and I do believe He only gives us trials He knows we can handle, but in the end that's just blind faith on my part.

Because, in the end, I don't understand why He feels trials such as yours are necessary. As I said, it's times like these that He seems a right bastard.

Know that my prayers are with you, Julie, and above all, with your daughter.

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I speak entirely from a Christian perspective.

They happen because there is zero correlation between behavior and these types of incidences.

Conversely God doesn't "make it rain" for those who believe in him as some prosperity gospel preachers would (mis)lead you to believe.

You're given the gift of life, things happen, and you deal with them as best as you can knowing that this life isn't all that there is. It's unfortunate, it's painful, it's tragic, but it's not a punishment or the result of a cruel God. It just is.

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I'm really sorry to hear that Dakota. You and your daughter will be in my thoughts.

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Dakota.. I read this last night.. and ran away from it hastily because of my loss of words.. without a doubt your family is in my families prayers.

One recommendation to reach out for support is caringbridge . It may help you and the misses just as much as your daughter/s.

Now.. for the question. I don't know the answer, but I will tell you I hold about the same stance with God. I don't have the faith of some, I challenge the bible often yet I know I believe. Just not really sure I have belief in the human interpretation of bible and the rules set forth from it.

But I will share just a little, I was 15 when the accident took away my dreams, and for a couple of years I wandered through life with a nagging question when sitting in silence.. why me?

I grew up, was taught wrong from right, always went out of my way to live as a good human and never asked for much.. worked hard and was mindful of my parents. I failed to understand why I was chosen for my fate. It took some time for me to see it.

I finished high school struggling, abusing alcohol, esteem issues and a serious lack of confidence.. 2 years earlier, I could never have imagined that fate as I was the exact opposite. Borderline cocky even because I knew. because of sports, that I had a future ahead of me. Now I was at the mercy of my question.. and couldn't escape it.

I went to UWGB specifically because of the lack of football at the college (Ironic I know.. the Packers lurking in the background yet different).. hiding from demons. I was about my sophomore year at church there in GB that I was asked by a mother if I would speak to her son.. a young man whom lost his leg. I reluctantly agreed.. I wanted to say no because I knew I wasn't healed yet.. what could I offer him. Long story short.. we healed each other in the process... and my answer finally became clear.

For a couple of years, I talked individually and in group settings to youth by request.. it was therapeutic and centered my focus back on life.

My purpose of sharing this, which I don't do often, is this.. get past that as quick as you can and however you can. That nagging question... you will have no room for it going forward in this process.

I know it is easier said than done, heck it took me years to get past it.. but I only had myself to worry about.. I don't mean to sound cold.. more so hoping that the question doesn't consume or distract you.

All I know is that it sucks.. and it is a cruel hand to deal to a child.. but with a strong family you will take it head on and fight it fully.

I wish I had a better answer.. I wish that I could somehow help.. heck I would gladly taken the burden off such a young child with a full life ahead of them...

Just know this.. you have a great number of friends, quasi Packer family in your corner.. if there is anything we can do.. poise it and we will see what we can do.

Give your daughters and wife a hug for me.

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Well, after a tearful night and not much sleep, Julie and I have accepted our plight and have come to grips with what we need to do going forward. We were contacted by Mayo today and appointments were scheduled for Monday and Tuesday to determine the appropriate care going forward. The Neurologist here in Bismarck told us that the tumor is operable, but follow up treatment such as radiation or chemotherapy will more than likely be needed to reduce or eliminate any remaining tissue. It is unknown at this time if there are cancer cells involved.

As for why this happening, I can't come up with a reason, but appreciate all of you that took the time to try and console me. God blessed Julie and I with three absolute angels to nuture, and even though one is danger, we will endure with faith, love, and a strong network of good friends and family to lean on.

Mia is my most special daughter, having lived with being the weaker of my twins but always maintaining a special spirit that shines most brightly.

Thank you all for your kindness and keeping us in your thoughts and prayers.

God Bless,
Dakota

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You and your family are in my prayers, Dakota. The simplest comment I can make is that life is a beautiful gift, but it is also a huge crapshoot with no assurances given.

We are all faced with challenges in our lives, and this may be your biggest. Keep your faith in your family and yourself, and the fact that modern medicine can accomplish something close to miracles.

I wish you strength and resiliency to get through this incredibly difficult time.

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