4PackGirl
14 years ago
kev - not sure what WI laws are but in IL if you are the custodial parent, you can move wherever you want.
Zero2Cool
14 years ago

kev - not sure what WI laws are but in IL if you are the custodial parent, you can move wherever you want.

"4PackGirl" wrote:



I have Keiana 72% of the year, but according to paperwork for the court it's 50/50.

Seems to me that the next logical step is to discuss this with your daughter's mom-- Not as any sort of fait accompli, but rather as the partners that you remain in the upbringing of Keiana. If it were me, I would sit down with mom and explain the situation in it's totality, BEFORE making any commitments to anyone else. Of course I don't know your dynamic with the mom either, but it seems to me that if you make a decision without her active participation in the process you are somewhat more likely to CREATE an adversarial condition when one might have been avoided. I think it would be important to give the mom the opportunity to "work it through" in her mind, as are you.

It is a HUGE step for any mom to "allow" her child to move out of state...

I would have to think that any dad would need to work extra hard to make sure that mom is comfortable with the idea and the arrangements.

"dfosterf" wrote:



I am going to be sitting down with her mom Sunday when I pick Keiana up and discuss it with her. I haven't made any commitments to anyone about anything. I need to know what's going on with my daughter and know I'm able to bring her along before I consider any commitment.

I've had this discussion "prepared" in my mind for awhile now, back when I noticed other IT personnel being let go or relocated. I just never expected an offer that would make me want to relocate. When they made the offer, it was supposed to be nothing major and I'd simply say "thanks, but no thanks" and take the next job that comes my way.

The offer, the location, the area, the culture at the headquarters ... all make this tough. I'm hoping Keiana's mom understands what a great opportunity this is for the both of us.

I'm going to be getting Keiana a unlimited minute phone so family can talk to her whenever. She has a laptop with a webcam (got that for her so she could see me when I was traveling and me her) and I will be paying to fly her back to Green Bay for Christmas and the summer.

I'm also going to offer sending the mom out once so she can see the area we live in and see the school Keiana is attending...

Of course, that's if she accepts and doesn't make this go to court. I would like to avoid court and do this amicably if possible. Especially with the understanding it would be for 2-3 years and then I'll move back to WI.
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4PackGirl
14 years ago
sounds like a well thought out plan, kevin. best of luck & i hope she can try to understand that this is a great opportunity for both of you.
MontanaBob
14 years ago
If you can manage it with your daughter, take it. Colorado is beautiful (like Montana, the western half) and it will be a whole new experience for both of you.

Greeley is just East of I-15 and close to Fort Collins. Northern Colorado University is in Greely and is in the Big Sky Conference along with my Montana Grizzlies. We get down there once in awhile to watch them play.

Best of luck in whatever you decide.
Anyone for a Weenie Roast?
wpr
  • wpr
  • Preferred Member
14 years ago
Zero,
You have such a tough decision. I am glad the money is there. A lot of people face relocation or unemployment.

I have been in the Greeley area and know lots of people from CO. (My sister's best friend lives in Greeley and my son's girl friend's parents live a little west of there.) I am sure you will love it out there.

Do what you feel is best for your family. It is not going to be easy. I am sure you will second guess yourself a lot.

As a side note my parents moved the family 4 times by the time I was in 2nd grade. Kids usually adapt pretty quickly.
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Nonstopdrivel
14 years ago
You could just marry the mother and drag her along with you. 😉
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Zero2Cool
14 years ago
lmao ... imagine that scene ....

So you turn down my offer for moving to Greeley, CO with Keiana ... hmm ... well how bout we get married and you come with? What? Your divorce isn't final yet? Oh.... what again you say your bf wouldn't like that?

:P
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Zero2Cool
14 years ago
I just spoke with Keiana's mom. She took it ... okay. She said she wants to say no for purely selfish reasons. She also said she knows I'm the better parent and that I wouldn't even consider moving her if I didn't feel it was for the best. She also said she was happy for me with the opportunity. She said too that I'm doing very good with Keiana- better than she could and said 'but we both know that doesnt need to be said to be understood'.

She came to the door and I asked if she could talk for a few minutes. I told her I was losing my job. Then I told her they wanted me to move to Colorado. She replied "...aaaand you told them no way??". I then told her what they started the offering at and she seen my eyes swell up and said "they made you an offer that you cant say no to didnt they". I told her 'if i cant bring Keiana, i can say no'.

I cited comments from members here about moving as well. And for that I want to again thank you.
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Wade
  • Wade
  • Veteran Member
14 years ago
glad to hear the conversation went ok, Kevin.
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
Romans 12:2 (NKJV)
wpr
  • wpr
  • Preferred Member
14 years ago
I am happy for you Kevin.
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