I probably SHOULDN'T care what people think, but I do to some extent.

I am going to propose to my girlfriend of 4 years before too long, however money is extremely tight. Her family is quite traditional, however we're both not particularly bound by tradition and she personally would not mind a very cheap, simple ring. I am planning on getting her a custom wedding ring (one that would not easily be implemented as a wedding band to complement the engagement ring), but at this point I'm more concerned with how cheap is too cheap in society's eyes as it relates to engagement rings. The last thing I want to hear are negative comments from her parents, even if my girlfriend would be perfectly fine with the ring.

So, my main questions...

1. For those of you that are married/have been married, what kind of engagement ring did you get? Approximately how much did it cost?
2. What did people have to say about it?

I gather that you are a fairly young man Porforis.

This is an issue that strikes close to home for me. Please bear with me for a few minutes....

Believe or not, I too was once a young man. Let me take you back to the early 1970's....
I was 22 years old, in the Navy and didn't have a "pot to pee in". (back in those days the military did not pay much at all.)
The lovely feisty red haired young woman that I was totally in love with agreed to marry me. I could not even afford an engagement ring, and the only wedding ring that I could afford was a cheap one that I got through the Navy exchange.
To say that her parents were not happy was an understatement. But my wife to be did not care, and took me for what I was.
As the first years went by and there were some tough times, my mother-in-law would never fail to remind me of what I didn't have and the "cheap wedding ring".
But for some odd reason my wife cherished that cheap ring, and even when I could afford it and bought her a nice engagement ring, she always wore that old cheap ring.
well eventually I did pretty well, thanks to my wife who stood by me always.

I lost my wife to cancer 8 years ago, she was only 49. One of he last things that she said to me was " When I am gone, take my wedding ring and keep it with you always"
I had it re-sized, wear it still and always will.

With all of the materialistic things that I have acquired, were God to tell me that I could keep only one material thing in this world, hands down it would be that cheap old wedding ring.

Sorry to ramble on, but if your soon to be in-laws(or anyone else for that matter) have a problem with what kind of ring you get for the woman that you want to share your life with...send them my way.
I'll straighten their asses out.

With that, I wish you the very best my young cheesehead amigo.

I don't know if you could've gotten a better answer than that one right there.

+1 to both of you.

You sir, are great.

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I've encountered this once in my life too. I was 20, working a plant job, and was more worried about her mother accepting the ring than I was her. Long story short, I thought I'm happy that she wants me for me, her mother should be the same.

If a in-law is going to like you more because of materialistic objects, they're appreciation of you is not worth the time of day.

It's what is inside that counts, the thought behind the object, the love. If anyone fails to see that, then they themselves live a sorry life.

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after years of receiving diamonds for every little stupid occassion from my ex (paid for by credit card - dumbass) i informed my new guy that i did NOT want any diamonds!! my engagement/wedding set is made out of some sort of russian crystal stuff. it's beautiful, i love it, & it only cost around $500. the 'diamond' is 1.5 carats, set it 14k white gold. i would've killed him if he'd spent thousands on a ring for me.

oh & vr - you're amazing & your late wife sounds just as wonderful!

I bought my wife a very simple white gold solitare diamond ring. I paid cash for it, as I had (still have) squat for a credit rating. $700. It was quaint and small, which was exactly what my wife wanted. Her wedding band (which was able to wrap around the engagement ring) was another $400-500. That too, was simple and small.

Because we kept quiet with how 'cheap' the rings were, I don't think I had any issues, despite the materialistic mother-in-law and such.

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1) Not a red cent. (I found it on the side of the road.)

2) I don't give a shit.

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excellent VR. +1 for you my lad. No +2.

I too proposed back in the day. Mine was Oct 2, 1981 at her grand parent's 50 anniversary and our 5 year "anniversary". I didn't spend a lot of money. Her family did not believe in jewelry of any kind. So I first went to my future father-in-law, got his permission to propose, told him I had a ring and I did not want to cause any troubles in the family. He told me to go propose to his daughter and he would handle the family. IE: my new mother-in-law. (It was her parent's anniversary and Grandpa was not only a Pentecostal minister he was the State Overseer for their Church.

Well the ring I bought saw small due to very little money and not wanting to be too ostentatious. Her younger sisters all got married and most of them had larger rocks. It bothered me but not my wife. When we were in Mexico for our 25th anniversary a few years ago I bought her a new diamond. Told her she could do anything she wanted with it. Make it into a ring, wear it as a pendent, put it in a broach or wear one earring.

She took a long time to decide. Changed her mind about 10 times. She finally had it made into a ring. She wears it some times but like VR's sweet bride, she prefers her original 10 to 1.

Porforis, do the best with what you have. You have to be you not some rich sugar daddy. I will say this, if you go for a diamond try to get as clear of a stone as you can afford. The brightness will off set the size.
Also My grandfather died just before our wedding. I was looking at my grandmothers wedding set. Her rings were almost wore out on the bottom from rubbing back and forth on each other. After they were almost wore out she went to a jeweler and he soldered them together to keep them from wearing out any more. We did that with my wife's rings right after the wedding. The bonus is when she misplaces them, we only have to look for one ring not two!

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