Our rings are matching, all made by my uncle (for free) who is a goldsmith. The diamond in my wife's ring was given to us by my mother from her own engagement ring (she broke off the engagement before she was married).

I spent $0 on our rings and they are not elaborate. They are simple rings that match our tastes. Nothing gaudy or over the top.

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So soes this mean that you are a bas... never mind. :tongue3:

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Not necessarily. This engagement was after I was born to a man not my father years after my parents had already split. 😛

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I knew it was not your father. I was just being a smart @ss.

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I wonder if people who DID spend $10,000 or something on rings are shying away from this thread...

In any case, it's good to hear that so many here are happily married without gratuitous material signs of affection.

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My brother spent something like $20k on his engagement rings and the dress was in the 5 digits as well. Their marriage is horrible.

I used to work in a retirement home and saw first hand that couples who enjoyed the "simple pleasures" got more out of life. When you get old, your "default expression" will be carved into your face. Those who smiled a lot, you'd see that they smiled a lot. Those who frowned a lot, you saw that too.

Talking to the old people and seeing what they wanted out of life, you got to see what really mattered. Unfortunately I never got a chance to interview engagement ring prices, but I'm willing to bet that the ones who stayed married longest on average had the cheaper rings and spent their money on quality time together, which in the end, is what really matters.

If you spend $10,000 on an engagement ring, that's $10,000 you can't spend somewhere else. Heck, for that much money, most folks can take some significant time off and travel.

Honestly - what would you rather have? Memories of places you went with your spouse or a piece of metal carved in a circle that wraps around your ring finger?

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Honestly I don't think any man chooses to spend so much of their savings on an engagement ring, but a combination of social pressure, expectations/personality of the potential fiance and affluence/spending habit.

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With my brother, it was pressure from his future mother-in-law who's a materialistic bitch and thinks she's better than people who come from a lower class than she does.

Still, it's his choice to give in or say "fuck you." Unfortunately, he did the former. That pretty much set up the tone for the rest of the marriage.

Good point, Eng.

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Vikesrule......you got me choked up at the library. I love you, man.

That story is better then anything anyone could write.

Now.....i gave my (at the time FUTURE) wife a pre engagement ring. I had no money either. Well, my brother's new wife had a ring with a diamond chip from her 1st husband. She gave it to me, said "Give it to Lauriejean, and i'll never tell that you got it from me." So i did,.......LJ LOVED it. Then one day, a few years later, she lost it while at work. She was crying, all upset......she couldn't understand why i wasn't mad at her. So i told her where i got it from.......LOL! So....i went out, found one EXACTLY like it, bought it, and gave it to her. Still makes us laugh!
Her engagement ring was small by most standards. Cost me i believe around $150 back in 1977. But she LOVED it.
If she loves you, and KNOW you can't afford a fancy ring, it shouldn't matter to her. And who CARES what her family thinks?
LOVE is all that should really matter.

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Don't worry about the ring. Get what you can afford, and if your lady-friend worries about it, you should worry about her! I was a student (still am, for another 2 months) when I proposed and was married. I used my tax return to buy my wife a half carat solitaire and a diamond wedding band. I spent $1500 for the two about 6 years ago. Even though I feel like her ring is pretty and plenty big, I still wish I could've gotten something bigger/better, and mention from time to time that in a few years I'd like to get her a new ring. When she hears me say that, she totally shuts me out. She loves her ring, and a new ring wouldn't be the same. She's a good one.

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I've seen the tepid smirk -- indicative of something between patient tolerance and mild contempt -- on women's faces when they receive a huge bouquet of flowers enough times to know that women aren't really all that into big lavish gifts. I think it makes them feel like their men are attempting to buy them. And the ones who do want the expensive gifts are self-conscious whores and comfortable with that fact.

I can count on one hand the number of times I've given my wife flowers. The first time it was A flower, a single long-stemmed red rose. When I handed it to her, her eyes welled up with tears. She carried that rose with her everywhere for days, showing it off to all her friends. It meant something to her. The jewelry I've given her has been simple and elegant, sometimes even handmade. Nothing elaborate or ostentatious.

As a result, she's thrilled and surprised every time.

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