wpr
  • wpr
  • Preferred Member
14 years ago
Belated happy birthday engineer.

VR your joke was very cheesey-istic. You keep that up and you will be typing in yellow.
UserPostedImage
Nonstopdrivel
14 years ago
So it seems that a lawyer, a physician, and an engineer all managed to piss off the king at the same time, and he duly sentenced all of them to die on the same day. In due time, the day of the execution arrived, and the executioner lead the lawyer up to the guillotine.

"Head up or head down?" he asked gruffly.

"Head up," responded the lawyer bravely.

"Blindfold or no blindfold?" asked the executioner.

"No blindfold," said the lawyer with his game face on.

So the executioner laid the lawyer in the guillotine, raised his axe, and cut the rope. Zing, down came the blade . . . and stopped barely an inch above the lawyer's neck. Well, by the law of the land, if something went wrong with the execution, the accused had to go free. So grumbling under his breath, the executioner released the lawyer.

A moment later he lead the physician up to the guillotine.

"Head up or head down?"

"Head up."

"Blindfold or no blindfold?"

"No blindfold."

So the executioner laid the physician in the guillotine, raised his axe, and cut the rope. Zing, down came the blade . . . and sure enough, jammed just an inch above the physician's head. By now cursing openly, the executioner let the physician go.

His patience now taxed to the breaking point, the executioner dragged the engineer up to the guillotine.

"Head up or head down?" he demanded.

"Head up."

"Blindfold or no blindfold?" bellowed the executioner.

"No blindfold."

The executioner practically threw the bound engineer onto the guillotine. He stepped back, raised his axe, and commenced the fateful swing.

"STOP!!" screamed the engineer.

"What now?" roared the executioner.

"I see what's wrong with the guillotine!"
UserPostedImage
wpr
  • wpr
  • Preferred Member
14 years ago
I know to many engineers not to give you a +1 Non Stop.
UserPostedImage
dfosterf
14 years ago
That was a good one. :thumbleft:

OK, I got another one.

An engineering student was walking across campus when another engineer rides up on a shiny new bicycle.

"Where did you get such an awesome bike?" asked the first.

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a drop dead beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said "Take whatever you want."

The second engineer nodded approvingly "Excellent choice, the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
Pack93z
14 years ago
Happy belated birthday... sorry about your auto.. and congrats on your new toy.

But since we are making fun of engineers..


One day, a Mechanical Engineer, Electrical Engineer, Chemical Engineer and Computer Engineer were driving down the street in the same car.

The car broke down.

The Mechanical Engineer said, "I think a rod broke."

The Chemical Engineer said, "The way it sputtered at the end, I don't think it's getting gas."

The Electrical Engineer said, "I think there was a spark and something is wrong with the electrical system."

All three turned to the computer engineer and said, "What do you think?"

The Computer Engineer said, "I think we should all get out and get back in, then try a restart."


"The oranges are dry; the apples are mealy; and the papayas... I don't know what's going on with the papayas!"
Pack93z
14 years ago
YOU MIGHT BE AN ENGINEER IF--

The only jokes you receive are through e-mail.

At Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string of Christmas lights.

Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma.

Everyone else on the Alaskan Cruise is on deck peering at the scenery, and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room.

In college, you thought Spring Break was metal fatigue failure.

The salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions.

You are always late to meetings. You are at an air show and know how fast the skydivers are falling.

You are next in line on death row in a French Prison and you find that the guillotine is not working properly, so you offer to fix it.

You bought your wife a new CD ROM for her birthday.

You forget to get a haircut for 6 months.

You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie.

You can type 70 words per minute but can't read your own handwriting.

You can't write unless the paper has both horizontal and vertical lines.

You comment to your wife that her straight hair is nice and parallel.

You go on the rides at Disneyland and sit backward in the chairs to see how they do the special effects.

You have Dilbert comics displayed anywhere in your work area.

You have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance.

You have more friends on the Internet than in real life.

You have never backed up your hard drive.

You have never bought any new underwear or socks for yourself since you got married.

You have used coat hangars and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts.

You know what http:// stands for.

You look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys.

You own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts.

You see a good design and still have to change it.

You spent more on your calculator than you did on your wedding ring.

You still own a slide rule and you know how to use it.

You think a pocket protector is a fashion accessory.

You think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't get enough sleep.

You wear black socks with tennis shoes (or vice versa).

You window shop at Radio Shack.

You're in the back seat of your car, she's looking wistfully at the moon, and you're trying to locate a geosynchronous satellite.

Your checkbook always balances.

Your laptop computer costs more than your car.

Your wife hasn't the foggiest idea of what you do at work.

Your wrist watch has more computing power than a 300 MHz pentium.

You've already calculated how much you make per second.

You've ever tried to repair a $5 radio.

Your four basic food groups are: Caffeine, Fat, Sugar, and Chocolate.
"The oranges are dry; the apples are mealy; and the papayas... I don't know what's going on with the papayas!"
TheEngineer
14 years ago
Hahah, I love engineering jokes.
blank
Fan Shout
Mucky Tundra (17h) : Agreed; you stinks
Zero2Cool (18h) : I'm not beating anyone. I stinks.
Mucky Tundra (19h) : rough injury for tank dell. guy can't catch abreak
beast (20h) : So far the college playoffs have sucked... One team absolutely dominates the other
beast (22h) : Well even if you weren't positive towards a guy, you wouldn't nessarily want to tell the media that (if they don't know about it)
Martha Careful (23h) : I think MLF want Love to look past the end half issues, and feel good about his play. Our coaches generally keep a very positive tone.
beast (23h) : I think a great running game will do that for most QBs
packerfanoutwest (23h) : Coach Matt LaFleur has said quarterback Jordan Love is playing the best football of his career.
beast (21-Dec) : Oh, that's how you keep beating buckeye, with cheating
Zero2Cool (20-Dec) : There is a rule that if your name starts with 'b' you lose 15 points. Hey, I don't make the rules, I just enforce them!
wpr (20-Dec) : and then there is Beast. Running away with it all.
beast (20-Dec) : As of tonight, 3 way tie for 2nd in Pick'em, that battle is interesting!
beast (20-Dec) : Lions vs Vikings could be the main last game as it could determine division winners or #1 vs #2 seed
Mucky Tundra (20-Dec) : Or if KC needs to win for the #1 seed
Mucky Tundra (20-Dec) : Right now it looks like the only prime worthy games are Det-Minny and KC-Denver (if Denver can clinch a wild card spot)
Mucky Tundra (20-Dec) : The entirety of week 18 being listed as flex is weird
Zero2Cool (19-Dec) : Matt LaFleur today says unequivocally "Ted Thompson had nothing to do with the drafting of Jordan Love."
Zero2Cool (19-Dec) : Apparently, the editing is what pieces comments together. That Ted thing ... fake news.
Zero2Cool (19-Dec) : LaFleur "opportunity that Ted Thompson thought was too good to pass up"
Zero2Cool (19-Dec) : Jordan Love pick was Ted Thompson's idea.
Mucky Tundra (19-Dec) : Kyle Shanahan on signing De'Vondre Campbell as a FA last offseason: “We obviously made a mistake.”
packerfanoutwest (19-Dec) : Alexander’s last season with GB
Martha Careful (18-Dec) : if I were a professional athlete, I would probably look to see who the agent is for Kirk Cousins and then use him
beast (18-Dec) : $100 million fully guaranteed Kirk Cousins gets benched for rookie
Mucky Tundra (18-Dec) : a lower case b
Mucky Tundra (18-Dec) : The real lie is how beast capitalized his name in his message while it's normally spelled with
packerfanoutwest (18-Dec) : haha that's a lie
beast (17-Dec) : Despite what lies other might tell, Beast didn't hate the Winter Warnings, it felt refreshing to Beast for some reason.
Zero2Cool (17-Dec) : whiteout uniforms in general are pretty lame and weak. NFL greed at it's worst
Martha Careful (17-Dec) : The Viking uniforms, the whiteout uniforms specifically absolutely suck
beast (17-Dec) : Thanks Zero2Cool, looks a lot better now
beast (17-Dec) : Seems like someone has a crush on me, can't stop talking about me
Zero2Cool (17-Dec) : Should be gooder now. The forum default theme went to goofy land.
Zero2Cool (17-Dec) : What the hell
packerfanoutwest (17-Dec) : yeah beast hates the Winter Warning Unies
Mucky Tundra (16-Dec) : Okay I'm glad to know it's not just something happening to me lol
Mucky Tundra (16-Dec) : Zero, did you copy the Packers uniforms from last night and white out the board?
beast (16-Dec) : Oh crap, is the board going to the Winter Warning Uniforms too?!? It's all white on white right now!
Zero2Cool (16-Dec) : WR Odell Beckham Jr is officially a free agent after clearing waivers.
Zero2Cool (16-Dec) : Packers are 6th in sacks.
Zero2Cool (16-Dec) : RB David Montgomery will undergo season-ending knee surgery.
Mucky Tundra (16-Dec) : Dan Campbell on onside kick with 12 minutes left: In hindsight, wish I didn’t do that
Zero2Cool (16-Dec) : They have that whole 12th man thing so ...
Zero2Cool (16-Dec) : Of the times we've played there, I just can't recall hearing our fans.
wpr (16-Dec) : Well done jdlax. Well done.
wpr (16-Dec) : I think more likely to be Pack fans that live in the area.
wpr (16-Dec) : Pack fans represent. I pointed it out early in the game to my wife. Announcers said Packers travel well.
Zero2Cool (16-Dec) : That was crazy to hear go pack go in Seattle of all plays. That 12 man thing an all
Mucky Tundra (16-Dec) : jdlax, good man!
jdlax (16-Dec) : Mucky, there were too many of us there to credit any single one but for sure i was 60% responsible.
Please sign in to use Fan Shout
2024 Packers Schedule
Friday, Sep 6 @ 7:15 PM
Eagles
Sunday, Sep 15 @ 12:00 PM
COLTS
Sunday, Sep 22 @ 12:00 PM
Titans
Sunday, Sep 29 @ 12:00 PM
VIKINGS
Sunday, Oct 6 @ 3:25 PM
Rams
Sunday, Oct 13 @ 12:00 PM
CARDINALS
Sunday, Oct 20 @ 12:00 PM
TEXANS
Sunday, Oct 27 @ 12:00 PM
Jaguars
Sunday, Nov 3 @ 3:25 PM
LIONS
Sunday, Nov 17 @ 12:00 PM
Bears
Sunday, Nov 24 @ 3:25 PM
49ERS
Thursday, Nov 28 @ 7:20 PM
DOLPHINS
Thursday, Dec 5 @ 7:15 PM
Lions
Sunday, Dec 15 @ 7:20 PM
Seahawks
Monday, Dec 23 @ 7:15 PM
SAINTS
Sunday, Dec 29 @ 12:00 PM
Vikings
Saturday, Jan 4 @ 11:00 PM
BEARS
Recent Topics
15h / Green Bay Packers Talk / packerfanoutwest

23h / Green Bay Packers Talk / packerfanoutwest

19-Dec / Green Bay Packers Talk / Mucky Tundra

19-Dec / Green Bay Packers Talk / Zero2Cool

19-Dec / Random Babble / Zero2Cool

18-Dec / Green Bay Packers Talk / beast

17-Dec / Green Bay Packers Talk / wpr

17-Dec / Featured Content / Zero2Cool

16-Dec / Green Bay Packers Talk / beast

16-Dec / Green Bay Packers Talk / Martha Careful

16-Dec / Green Bay Packers Talk / beast

16-Dec / Feedback, Suggestions and Issues / Mucky Tundra

16-Dec / Green Bay Packers Talk / Zero2Cool

16-Dec / Green Bay Packers Talk / Zero2Cool

16-Dec / Green Bay Packers Talk / Zero2Cool

Headlines
Copyright © 2006 - 2024 PackersHome.com™. All Rights Reserved.