wpr
  • wpr
  • Preferred Member
15 years ago
What I am thankful for part 2.
My son.
UserPostedImage
Pack93z
15 years ago
A little humor for the holiday... I wonder if the same treatment would work from my loud Viking relish? :lol:

I could write a novel for the things I am thankful for.. having a healthy family and friend network plus still walking this earth myself sits atop.

Happy Turkey Day all..

Recently I received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.

I tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else I could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, I was fed up and I yelled at the parrot.

The parrot yelled back.

I shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. So, in desperation, I threw up my hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.

Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

Fearing that I'd hurt the parrot I quickly opened the door to the freezer.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto my outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."

I was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.

As I was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued,

"May I ask what the turkey did?"



UserPostedImage
"The oranges are dry; the apples are mealy; and the papayas... I don't know what's going on with the papayas!"
wpr
  • wpr
  • Preferred Member
15 years ago
I love that joke pack. thanks for posting it.

+1
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IronMan
  • IronMan
  • Veteran Member Topic Starter
15 years ago
LOL
dfosterf
15 years ago

I'm thankful for.....

Those little plastic things on the ends of your shoelaces.

The arrows that show you which way to insert the batteries.

Peanut butter and jelly.

Gravity, friction, spam, jello and velcro.

"vikesrule" wrote:



Aglets. I'm thankful for those and the other items on this list.

Things that I am thankful that I have the means to avoid:

Wind

Weight

Rust

Springs

Coat-hangars in plastic trash bags

Intoxicated chubby-girls at wedding receptions
dfosterf
15 years ago

I'm thankful for.....

Those little plastic things on the ends of your shoelaces.

The arrows that show you which way to insert the batteries.

Peanut butter and jelly.

Gravity, friction, spam, jello and velcro.

"dfosterf" wrote:



Aglets. I'm thankful for those and the other items on this list.

Things that I am thankful that I have the means to avoid:

Wind

Weight

Rust

Springs

Coat-hangars in plastic trash bags

Intoxicated chubby-girls at wedding receptions

"vikesrule" wrote:




Now, that above, that would be the "permanent list". Those are things that I have given great thought to, and in order to make the "avoid" list, well, you just have to aggravate the hell out of me on a repeated basis.

I do, however, have a multitude of candidates FOR the permanent list, and these are adjusted seasonally, situationally and aggravationally...constantly.

Today was "leaf" day.

Tomorrow is "leaf PICK UP day", which, a close observer in some other threads would have taken into account aforementioned "chores" by current "CO", done the math, and figured out a certain procrastination proclivity by the author.

Naturally, my number one thing to avoid on the PERMANENT list would play a strong role in the aggravation factor today. Yesterday, when I was absolutely required to do leaves, because I had not done them the previous day (again, see "chore" reference) ...well, yesterday was dead calm. It just so happened that this nice calm day was a day that I felt like sitting here b.s.ing with you folks, instead of raking leaves...like I'd never done anything like THAT before, decision-wise, and like that was even a hard decision to make. Unfortunately, the wife was home all day, because she didn't have to work (I hereby revoke my preference for Thanksgiving, as IT CAN IN FACT be a pain in my ass.) So she had plenty of extra time to ADD to the honey-do list. (I HATE that list...just because she has a JOB, she has to take shit out on me) I never asked her to shoot anybody or go walk a hundred miles with a field marching pack , or live on some squid's boat for me when I worked...I'm just sayin'...

ANYWAY, the GD WIND is blowin' those leaves, I'm under a deadline here, and the GD battery on the JD rider is deader than a doornail. The friggin' left ft tire is semi-flat, and there is no gas. This does not aggravate me...this kinda crap I expect and anticipate, again refer to decisions, chores, wives, etc. for further understanding...

Here is the point of this relatively meaningless post. I want to add on at least on a temporary basis to the things I have the ability to (MOSTLY) avoid:

Frigging loose string-trimmer string intertwined amongst the tines of a leaf rake.

The 10%-15% of leaves that are unreachable/scoop-uppable by a riding mower attachment.

Garden rakes in general, specifically as they apply to leaf raking, and those leaves that attach uninvited thereon.

Leaf rakes. (THIS is a STRONG candidate for permanent inclusion, as I have discovered in life they do not necessarily have to be hated on only a seasonal basis).

Mailmen that think it's funny to drive through leaf piles while I am unarmed.

Inner guilt that prevents a man from going to the beer store while his wife is still at work.

Thank you for allowing me to share.

:icon_smile:

Edit---
A bullet isn't the only thing our mailman dodged this afternoon, he also drove right by (or I should say through) his already purchased Bass Pro Shops gift certificate Christmas gift. Everytime I cast my new fishing rod, I'll be sure to lift a cold one in homage to his stupidity and poor timing. :icon_smile:
longtimefan
15 years ago
My wife who is an angel

rest of my family

our house

friends

our jobs

that Jj is still able to function enuff for him to visit me when ever he wants to
Green_Bay_Packers
15 years ago
Family
You Guys and Gals :)
Friends
Life in General
blank
Cheesey
15 years ago
Knowing where i'll spend eternity. (Can't come soon enough for me!!)
Having a roof over my head (even though it's rented)
Having a wife that still puts up with me and my bad jokes
All my "family" on here!
Still being able to hear and walk.
UserPostedImage
wpr
  • wpr
  • Preferred Member
15 years ago

Knowing where i'll spend eternity. (Can't come soon enough for me!!)
Having a roof over my head (even though it's rented)
Having a wife that still puts up with me and my bad jokes
All my "family" on here!
Still being able to hear and walk.

"Cheesey" wrote:



All of your family? Aww common now. I know what you called Vikes Rule. :physassult:
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Fan Shout
wpr (2h) : Jets are Packers (L)East
Zero2Cool (9h) : Jets released K Riley Patterson and signed K Anders Carlson to the practice squad.
wpr (10h) : Thanks guys
Mucky Tundra (7-Nov) : Happy Birthday wpr!
Zero2Cool (7-Nov) : Anders Carlson ... released by 49ers
dfosterf (7-Nov) : Happy Birthday!😊😊😊
wpr (7-Nov) : Thanks Kevin.
Zero2Cool (7-Nov) : Happy Birthday, Wayne! 🎉🎂🥳
beast (7-Nov) : Edge Rushers is the same... it's not the 4-3 vs 3-4 change, it's the Hafley's version of the 4-3... as all 32 teams are actually 4-2
Zero2Cool (6-Nov) : OLB to DE and player requests trade. Yet folks say they are same.
beast (5-Nov) : In other news, the Green Bay Packers have signed Zero2Cool to update their website 😋 jk
beast (5-Nov) : Might just re-sign the kicker we got
beast (5-Nov) : Are there any kickers worth drafting next year?
Zero2Cool (5-Nov) : Preston Smith for Malik Willis
Mucky Tundra (5-Nov) : Getting a 7th rounder from the Stillers
Zero2Cool (5-Nov) : At least we get 7th round pick now!! HELLO NEW KICKER
Mucky Tundra (5-Nov) : Steelers getting a premier lockdown corner!
Zero2Cool (5-Nov) : Packers are trading edge rusher Preston Smith to the Pittsburgh Steelers, per sources.
Mucky Tundra (5-Nov) : Preston Smith traded to the Steelers!!!!
Zero2Cool (5-Nov) : CB Marshon Lattimore to Commanders
Zero2Cool (5-Nov) : Bears are sending RB Khalil Herbert to the Bengals, per sources.
Zero2Cool (5-Nov) : ZaDarius Smith continues his "north" tour.
Zero2Cool (5-Nov) : Let the Chiefs trade a 5th for him
Zero2Cool (5-Nov) : Nearing 30, large contract, nope.
Martha Careful (5-Nov) : any interest in Marshon Lattimore?
Zero2Cool (4-Nov) : What does NFL do if they're over cap?
Mucky Tundra (4-Nov) : They've been able to constantly push it out through extensions, void years etc but they're in the hole by 72 million next year I believe
hardrocker950 (4-Nov) : Seems the Saints are always in cap hell
Mucky Tundra (4-Nov) : Saints HC job is not an envious one; gonna be in cap hell for 3 years
Mucky Tundra (4-Nov) : Dennis Allen has now been fired twice mid-season with Derek Carr as his starting QB
Zero2Cool (4-Nov) : Kuhn let go
beast (4-Nov) : I wonder if the Packers would have any interest in Z. Smith, probably not
Zero2Cool (4-Nov) : Shefter says Browns and Lions will figure out how to get a deal done for Za'Darius Smith..
Zero2Cool (4-Nov) : Packers are more likely to have 1,000 yard rusher than 4,000 yard passer
Zero2Cool (3-Nov) : It's raining hard.
Zero2Cool (3-Nov) : Packers inactives vs. Lions: CB Jaire Alexander S Evan Williams C Josh Myers Non-injury inactives: WR Malik Heath OL Travis Glover DE Bren
packerfanoutwest (3-Nov) : Malik Willis: My focus is helping the Packers win, not proving I can start elsewhere. But he could
Zero2Cool (1-Nov) : I had Texans, but the loss of another WR flipped me
wpr (1-Nov) : I thought about taking the Jets but they've been a disaster. Losing to the Pats last week
Zero2Cool (1-Nov) : Surprised more didn't pick Jets in Pick'em.
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