Zero2Cool
12 years ago
[list=1]
  • A computer doesn't care if you stick something inside them for your personal pleasure.(ie: a game disk)
  • A computer doesn't get hangups if you spend loads of time with a woman
  • A computer never says "you never bring me flowers anymore."
  • A computer will never ask 'Does my bum look big in this?'
  • A computers disposition remains the same all month
  • Computers always come back for more!
  • Computers always tell you when they have problems
  • Computers appreciate it when you tie up the phone line with them
  • Computers are also a good paper weight
  • Computers are cheaper to run
  • Computers are easy to turn on.
  • Computers are happy for you not to wash & shave all weekend.
  • Computers are happy if you connect them to another one, even the same type
  • Computers are happy to have a picture of a newer model stuck next to them
  • Computers are happy to show you pornography
  • Computers are logical
  • Computers are made to minimize the amount of time and effort inserted in achieving the "goal"
  • Computers are not back seat drivers
  • Computers are precise
  • Computers can be partly upgraded
  • Computers can be programmed to do something useful
  • Computers can be taught not to pass on viruses
  • Computers do exactly what you tell them to
  • Computers do not use perfumes, they do not have bad smells!
  • Computers don't ask for money
  • Computers don't buy a new pair of shoes every month
  • Computers don't eat all of the good stuff from your fridge first
  • Computers don't eat your chocolate
  • Computers don't expect you to be able to read their minds
  • Computers don't fall asleep during Match of the Day
  • Computers don't get crazy if you get up and walk away in mid-sentence
  • Computers don't get jealous if you use another one
  • Computers don't get ugly when they get old
  • Computers don't get upset if you only use them for 30 seconds
  • Computers don't get upset if you use them for 12 hours without a break
  • Computers don't get upset when you go on holiday without them
  • Computers don't have a compulsive urge to talk crap if they've got nothing to say
  • Computers don't like shopping
  • Computers don't make horrible dinners
  • Computers don't mind if you never speak to them
  • Computers don't mind you farting whilst you're using them
  • Computers don't nag [except perhaps if they're running Vista ]
  • Computers don't order stupid entree's in restaurants, then ask you to trade with them
  • Computers don't say, "Not tonight darling, I have a headache".
  • Computers don't think
  • Computers don't try to introduce you to their parents
  • Computers don't want pets or babies
  • Computers don't watch mindless sit-coms on TV
  • Computers don't bitch about their friends
  • Computers don't have periods
  • Computers don't require chocolate to make them happy
  • Computers have good memory
  • Computers give you another chance if the RAM goes bad
  • Computers have more things to press
  • Computers like being chained to a desk (some even have bondage ports built in)
  • Computers like to play with each other for you
  • Computers never leave you for your best friend
  • Computers never smell of fish
  • Computers play games or get serious when YOU want to
  • Computers reboot much faster
  • Computers stay the same size, even after 5 years
  • Computers stay when you tell them too
  • Computers treat your woman with the same respect as you
  • Computers usually tell you when they have a virus
  • Computers will accept a 3 1/2 inch floppy and be happy
  • Computers will go down on you
  • Computers will help you solve your problems
  • Computers work better the more RAM you put in them
  • It's easy to upgrade to a newer model
  • It's not embarrassing to take a differently colored one to see your parents
  • The old computer works just the same even after you've got a new model
  • When your computer starts to smoke you can get another one
  • Women usually have good hardware but bad software
  • You can change computer hardware or software when you want to
  • You can deal with computer outputs
  • You can delete things you don't want your computer to remember
  • You can invite lots of friends of both sexes to play with your computer all together and it won't complain
  • You can name your computer anything you want
  • You can share your computer with your friends
  • You can stop for a beer break whilst using your computer, it just waits for you to come back
  • You can switch off a computer
  • You can turn on a computer, have a beer, watch the big match, and when you come back, it's still turned on
  • You can turn the computer off when the footy's on
  • You can turn the sound off
  • You can upgrade your computers FAT partitions
  • You can use your computer as many times as you want
  • You don't get BLOND computers [Alien edit: yes you do, they're called Macs ]
  • You don't need to continually tell your computer you love it
  • You don't need to cook for computers
  • You don't need to pay computers for adult fun
  • You don't need to wine and dine a computer before you use it
  • You don't need to remember your computers birthday or anniversary
  • You only have to punch information into a computer once
  • You're never embarrassed to show your computer to your parents, even when it's really old
  • Your computer always looks good in the morning
  • Your computer doesn't go home to mum if your office computer went down on you today
  • Your computer is always a pleasure to turn on
  • Your computer never makes you sleep in the wet spot
  • Your computer will happily play crude adult games with you
  • Your new computer doesn't mind using the old computers extras
    • [*]Your new computer is happy to sit on the old computers furniture[/list]
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