Zero2Cool
12 years ago
[list=1]
  • A computer doesn't care if you stick something inside them for your personal pleasure.(ie: a game disk)
  • A computer doesn't get hangups if you spend loads of time with a woman
  • A computer never says "you never bring me flowers anymore."
  • A computer will never ask 'Does my bum look big in this?'
  • A computers disposition remains the same all month
  • Computers always come back for more!
  • Computers always tell you when they have problems
  • Computers appreciate it when you tie up the phone line with them
  • Computers are also a good paper weight
  • Computers are cheaper to run
  • Computers are easy to turn on.
  • Computers are happy for you not to wash & shave all weekend.
  • Computers are happy if you connect them to another one, even the same type
  • Computers are happy to have a picture of a newer model stuck next to them
  • Computers are happy to show you pornography
  • Computers are logical
  • Computers are made to minimize the amount of time and effort inserted in achieving the "goal"
  • Computers are not back seat drivers
  • Computers are precise
  • Computers can be partly upgraded
  • Computers can be programmed to do something useful
  • Computers can be taught not to pass on viruses
  • Computers do exactly what you tell them to
  • Computers do not use perfumes, they do not have bad smells!
  • Computers don't ask for money
  • Computers don't buy a new pair of shoes every month
  • Computers don't eat all of the good stuff from your fridge first
  • Computers don't eat your chocolate
  • Computers don't expect you to be able to read their minds
  • Computers don't fall asleep during Match of the Day
  • Computers don't get crazy if you get up and walk away in mid-sentence
  • Computers don't get jealous if you use another one
  • Computers don't get ugly when they get old
  • Computers don't get upset if you only use them for 30 seconds
  • Computers don't get upset if you use them for 12 hours without a break
  • Computers don't get upset when you go on holiday without them
  • Computers don't have a compulsive urge to talk crap if they've got nothing to say
  • Computers don't like shopping
  • Computers don't make horrible dinners
  • Computers don't mind if you never speak to them
  • Computers don't mind you farting whilst you're using them
  • Computers don't nag [except perhaps if they're running Vista ]
  • Computers don't order stupid entree's in restaurants, then ask you to trade with them
  • Computers don't say, "Not tonight darling, I have a headache".
  • Computers don't think
  • Computers don't try to introduce you to their parents
  • Computers don't want pets or babies
  • Computers don't watch mindless sit-coms on TV
  • Computers don't bitch about their friends
  • Computers don't have periods
  • Computers don't require chocolate to make them happy
  • Computers have good memory
  • Computers give you another chance if the RAM goes bad
  • Computers have more things to press
  • Computers like being chained to a desk (some even have bondage ports built in)
  • Computers like to play with each other for you
  • Computers never leave you for your best friend
  • Computers never smell of fish
  • Computers play games or get serious when YOU want to
  • Computers reboot much faster
  • Computers stay the same size, even after 5 years
  • Computers stay when you tell them too
  • Computers treat your woman with the same respect as you
  • Computers usually tell you when they have a virus
  • Computers will accept a 3 1/2 inch floppy and be happy
  • Computers will go down on you
  • Computers will help you solve your problems
  • Computers work better the more RAM you put in them
  • It's easy to upgrade to a newer model
  • It's not embarrassing to take a differently colored one to see your parents
  • The old computer works just the same even after you've got a new model
  • When your computer starts to smoke you can get another one
  • Women usually have good hardware but bad software
  • You can change computer hardware or software when you want to
  • You can deal with computer outputs
  • You can delete things you don't want your computer to remember
  • You can invite lots of friends of both sexes to play with your computer all together and it won't complain
  • You can name your computer anything you want
  • You can share your computer with your friends
  • You can stop for a beer break whilst using your computer, it just waits for you to come back
  • You can switch off a computer
  • You can turn on a computer, have a beer, watch the big match, and when you come back, it's still turned on
  • You can turn the computer off when the footy's on
  • You can turn the sound off
  • You can upgrade your computers FAT partitions
  • You can use your computer as many times as you want
  • You don't get BLOND computers [Alien edit: yes you do, they're called Macs ]
  • You don't need to continually tell your computer you love it
  • You don't need to cook for computers
  • You don't need to pay computers for adult fun
  • You don't need to wine and dine a computer before you use it
  • You don't need to remember your computers birthday or anniversary
  • You only have to punch information into a computer once
  • You're never embarrassed to show your computer to your parents, even when it's really old
  • Your computer always looks good in the morning
  • Your computer doesn't go home to mum if your office computer went down on you today
  • Your computer is always a pleasure to turn on
  • Your computer never makes you sleep in the wet spot
  • Your computer will happily play crude adult games with you
  • Your new computer doesn't mind using the old computers extras
    • [*]Your new computer is happy to sit on the old computers furniture[/list]
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      Zero2Cool (5h) : Good deal too
      Martha Careful (6h) : Maxx Crosby resigned by Raiders
      Zero2Cool (14h) : Chargers release Joey Bosa
      Zero2Cool (4-Mar) : Appears Jets released Adams. It'll be official in few hours.
      Zero2Cool (3-Mar) : We have re-signed LB Isaiah McDuffie
      Zero2Cool (2-Mar) : Jets taking calls for Davante Adams. That $38m cap number hurting lol
      Zero2Cool (2-Mar) : Guess it's not official until the 12th
      Zero2Cool (2-Mar) : Deebo went for a 5th to Commanders?
      Martha Careful (1-Mar) : Just like my late husband!!
      Zero2Cool (1-Mar) : Once fired up, it should be good
      Zero2Cool (1-Mar) : Sometimes, the first page load will be slow. it's firing up the site.
      Martha Careful (1-Mar) : The site is operating much faster...tyvm
      Mucky Tundra (28-Feb) : It's the offseason and the draft is still nearly 2 months away, what can ya do?🤷‍♂️
      Zero2Cool (27-Feb) : NFL teams were notified today that the 2025 salary cap has been set at $279,200,000 per club.
      Zero2Cool (27-Feb) : sssllllooooow
      Martha Careful (27-Feb) : is it just me, or has the website been slow the last couple of days?
      buckeyepackfan (26-Feb) : Damnit 2026 2nd rnd pick!
      buckeyepackfan (26-Feb) : Packers get Myles Garret and Browns 2926 2nd rnd pick.
      buckeyepackfan (26-Feb) : Browns get Jaire, + Packers #1 2025 pick and 2026 3rd rnd pick.
      beast (26-Feb) : Rams trying to trade Stafford and Kupp, then signing Rodgers and Adams? Just speculation, but interesting
      Zero2Cool (26-Feb) : Packers shopping Jaire Alexander per Ian Rapoport
      Zero2Cool (25-Feb) : Gutekunst and Jaire Alexander’s agent, John Thornton, are meeting this week in Indianapolis to determine the future of the Packers’ 28-year-
      Zero2Cool (25-Feb) : Gutekunst says Mark Murphy told him he can trade their first-round pick despite the draft being in Green Bay.
      Zero2Cool (24-Feb) : Packers. 🤦
      Zero2Cool (24-Feb) : One team.
      Zero2Cool (24-Feb) : One team petition NFL to ban Brotherly Shove.
      beast (23-Feb) : Seems like he was just pissed because he was no longer the starter
      beast (23-Feb) : Campbell is right, he's rich and he doesn't have to explain sh!t... but that attitude gives teams reasons to never sign him again.
      dfosterf (22-Feb) : I have some doubt about all that
      dfosterf (22-Feb) : I read De'Vondre Campbell's tweet this morning (via the New York Post) Florio says that if he invested his earnings wisely, he will be good
      beast (20-Feb) : I haven't followed, but I believe he's good when healthy, just hasn't been able to stay healthy.
      dfosterf (20-Feb) : Hasn"t Bosa missed more games than he has played in the last 3 years?
      Mucky Tundra (19-Feb) : He hasn't been too bad when healthy but I don't feel like I ever heard much about when he is
      Zero2Cool (19-Feb) : Felt like he was more interested in his body, than football. He flashed more than I expected
      Zero2Cool (19-Feb) : When he was coming out, I thought he'd be flash in pan.
      Mucky Tundra (19-Feb) : Joey seems so forgettable compared to his brother for some reason
      Zero2Cool (19-Feb) : NFL informed teams today that the 2025 salary cap will be roughly $277.5M-$281.5M
      Zero2Cool (19-Feb) : Los Angeles Chargers are likely to release DE Joey Bosa this off-season as a cap casualty, per league source.
      Zero2Cool (18-Feb) : If the exploit is not fixed, we'll see tons of "50 top free agents, 50 perfect NFL team fits: We picked where each should sign in March" lo
      Zero2Cool (18-Feb) : Issue should be solved, database cleaned and held strong working / meeting. Boom!
      Zero2Cool (18-Feb) : It should be halted now.
      Mucky Tundra (18-Feb) : usually spambots are trying to get traffic to shady websites filled with spyware; the two links being spammed were to the Packers website
      Mucky Tundra (18-Feb) : you know when you put it that way combined with the links it was spamming (to the official Packers website)
      Zero2Cool (18-Feb) : Yep. You can do that with holding down ENTER on a command in Console of browser
      Mucky Tundra (18-Feb) : even with the rapid fire posts?
      Zero2Cool (18-Feb) : I'm not certain it's a bot.
      Mucky Tundra (18-Feb) : I've got to go to work soon which is a pity because I'm enthralled by this battle between the bot and Zero
      Zero2Cool (18-Feb) : Yeah, I see what that did. Kind of funny.
      Mucky Tundra (18-Feb) : now it's a link to Wes Hodkiezwicz mailbag
      Mucky Tundra (18-Feb) : Now they're back with another topic
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