dfosterf
12 years ago

Never mind any engineering theories or chemical compositions, just do it and let us know how it works out.
I'm 64 so I don't know how long I can wait for your results so hurry up and get started.

Originally Posted by: yooperfan 



I'm workin' on it, I'm workin' on it. I just remembered that I have a chipper/shredder just sitting in my shed, as it is too big of a pain in the ass to use as intended for leaves.

...But as a document shredder, compared to the little (traditional) POS we have?

If I can get a fine enough cut, I can see me RAKING the documents in!

I have a major headache, otherwise I'd already be reporting my initial findings.

gbguy20
12 years ago

I shouldn't even respond to this query, what with the dumbass twins dfosterf and dakotaT attempting to talk smack, however...

And let me preface this foster, by saying that you have no need for insulation in the winter, since all of the hot air that you blow out your ass is more than suffcient to heat the entire state of Pennsylvania.

But that is neither here nor there, as other fine people might benefit from my expertise in thermal dynamics and chemical transposition.



OK then, stick with me here.......

Foster, to accomplish the task of converting paper in any form, into suitable insulation material, you will need a retroencabulator.
This unit can be rented at any suitable equipment rental facility for a very nominal cost.

The retroencabulator is a fantastic piece of equipment designed for just such a task. I myself have used one several times for various applications.

How it works:
Thebase-plate is made of prefabulated amulite, surmounted by a malleable logarithmic casing in such a way that the two spurving bearings are in a direct line with the pentametric fan.

What this does is allow the main winding of the normal lotus-o-delta type to be placed in panendermic semi-boloid slots in the stator, and every seventh conductor being connected by a nonreversible trem'e pipe to the differential girdlespring on the 'up' end of the grammeters.

Hence, this allows forty-one manestically spaced grouting brushes arranged to feed into the rotor slipstream a mixture of high S-value phenylhydrobenzamine and 5% reminative tetryliodohexamine.

And since both of these liquids have specific pericosities given by P = 2.5C.n^6-7 where n is the diathetical evolute of retrograde temperature phase disposition and C is Cholmondeley's annular grillage coefficient…

presto changeo..... there you have it, paper into insulation!



It just does not get any simpler that that, folks.

Originally Posted by: vikesrule 



UserPostedImage
BAD EMAIL because the address couldn ot be found, or is unable to receive mail.
dfosterf
12 years ago
Based on Nick's thorough description, I can definitely see how you can get toilet paper through that machine. 😝

Unfortunately, we don't have the fuel required to run that unit, so they don't have it at the rental center.

The guy told me that there is a prototype unit that doesn't run on methane, and as soon as they mass produce it, they will be available outside the state of Minnesota. He didn't sound all that encouraging on the phone, as he said there have been some technical challenges... for example, to date the only other successful alternative fuel source they have been able to use to fire the bitch thus far has been metrodome hot air.

That was a good one, Nick!
Pack93z
12 years ago
Leave it to the geek type.. ;)

Even though it lacks VR's creativity. I am in a slump, what can I say. lol. And this is not a personally tested process.. so..

It's hard to think of a more readily available, a simpler, or a less costly insulation ... yet the "R" factor (the higher the "R", the better) of each inch of cellulose fiber is a very respectable 4. Even when you buy it ready-made, then, this is an extremely costeffective insulation. And when you make it yourself your savings can really skyrocket!

That " makin' " is not in the least complicated either. as MOTHER's researchers recently proved to themselves. It mainly consists of [1] gathering together enough bone-dry scrap cardboard or old newspapers, [2] running them through a farm-type haMmermill set for its finest possible grind, [3] mixing in—either before or after the cellulose is groundenough fireproofing and vermin repellent to protect it, and [4] putting the finished insulation where you want it.

USE A FARM-TYPE HAMMERMILL

The only "complication" we've found about this whole do-it-yourself project is that nothing less than a real, live, genuine hammermill will handle the grinding of the cellulose the way it should be handled. Little garden mulcher-type "shredder grinders" simply won't chew either paper or cardboard into the fluffy, fuzzy mass of fibers that makes the best insulation. (Rule of thumb: If you can still read whole words on your ground newsprint, it wasn't ground finely enough.)

What you want to do then (if you don't already have one) is rent or borrow or barter some time on one of the feed-grinding hammermills that many farmers own (the units are very much like the leaf grinders and limb shredders that you frequently see utility line crews using alongside the road).

Take care, too, to see that all the paper and cardboard you feed through the grinder is bone dry and stays that way (moisture can cause the shredded cellulose to "compost"). And always wear a respirator mask to protect your lungs from both paper dust and fine chemical particles as you work.

That last caution, by the way, is by no means meant to suggest that the chemicals used to treat the cellulose are in any way highly dangerous. Boric acid, the fire retardant used by most manufacturers of this insulation, is—as you probably know—so mild that doctors have frequently prescribed it as an eyewash. This particular fireproofer is now in such short supply, however (because of the current tremendous demand for insulation), that MOTHER's research crew has tested and presently recommends fireproofing cellulose insulation with borax. And borax, as you're surely aware, is so safe that it's the major ingredient in some laundry soaps.


The aluminum sulfate listed here as a rodent and insect repellent can best be put into perspective when you realize that it's one of the chemicals generally called "alum" (even though the term is more accurately descriptive of a double sulfate of ammonium or a univalent metal-such as sodium or potassium-and of a trivalent metal, such as aluminum, iron, or chromium). The chemical, in short, is an astringent and, as such, may be safely handled without gloves (although we do recommend keeping its dust out of your lungs and away from your mucous membranes). Do bear in mind, however, that aluminum sulfate is highly corrosive to most metals ... and, for this reason, an equal weight of ordinary lime (which neutralizes the alum) should be substituted for half the aluminum sulfate when your treated insulation will be used in metal buildings or mobile homes.

THE PRICE IS RIGHT

As the first chart reproduced here indicates, MOTHER's researchers ground up and tested six batches of cellulose fiber ... each of which contained a different percentage of vermin repellent and fireproofing. After trying to ignite all the test mixes with a propane torch and observing the results (see chart) , we recommend that a minimum of 25 pounds of aluminum sulfate (or half aluminum sulfate and half lime) and 12 pounds of borax be mixed into every 100 pounds of ground newsprint or cardboard.

This figures out to a total chemical cost (at $8.50/100 pounds for aluminum sulfate and $15.00/100 pounds for borax) of less than $4.00 per 100 pounds of paper that is treated ... or 5¢ a square foot when an attic is filled with a 6"-deep layer of the cellulose fiber (which produces a total "R" factor of 24, and that's very good). This compares quite favorably to the 24-1/2¢ a square foot that a local contractor charges to fill an attic space with only 5" of a commercially manufactured cellulose fiber. On a 1,300-square-foot house, that's an immediate saving of $253.50 right there ... and you're getting one-fifth more insulation to boot!

The chemicals were mixed into our first six test batches by shaking them onto the paper as it was fed into our hammermill. This is exactly the method used by the commercial manufacturers of cellulose fiber insulation that we've visited ... but it does have a minor drawback: The chemicals do tend to settle out of the mix as it's handled and, if some care isn't taken, more of the fire retardant than we like to see will wind up at the bottom of any space filled with this insulation.

For this reason we tried grinding some cellulose all by itself, putting it in a pile, and then sprinkling controlled amounts of borax and aluminum sulfate across the surfaces of the fiber. We were figuring, of course, thatsince flames burn up-it would take less of the chemicals to fireproof the pulverized insulation if those chemicals were put on top of the cellulose, instead of being allowed to sift to its bottom.


Read more: 


"The oranges are dry; the apples are mealy; and the papayas... I don't know what's going on with the papayas!"
dfosterf
12 years ago
I was getting ready to call the rental center guy to see about a hammermill when the damndest thing happened. He called me and said he could get me one of Nick's units!

He said he found one for sale down in D.C., so if I wanted to rent it, he was going to go ahead and buy it. I asked him if it was expensive, and he said it was but that it qualified for a green-energy grant so his net was actually a couple million to the good.

Apparently they are going to ship it to my house as soon as the State Department is done with it. He said it's been in constant use at the White House, CIA and State Dept. for a few weeks now, so the machine has quite a bit of wear and tear. I asked him what the hell they were doing with it, and he said someone mentioned something about a "Benghazi mess, but don't repeat that."

He also said it will come complete with all the needed optional equipment less the Minnesotans needed to get it to run. I asked him what options...

"Well, you got your porcine / bovine fecal matter chute and conveyor, your computerized LCD screen on-demand Vikings lowlights hybrid b.s. thermal limiter, and their patented get a Viking fan to instantly STFU stop-switch (be careful with that, it's very high voltage), and of course your pig urine cooling vat and distribution hoses."

I said that sounded kind of complicated, mentioned that the engineering sounded impressive, especially that STFU switch, but I guess the Minnesotans will be able to operate the machine for me.


He said, "Hell no they can't operate that machine, you ever met a Minnesotan who could walk and chew gum at the same time?"

I admitted I had not & asked him what the Minnesota people were needed for.

He said that the designers figured out how to get the unit to operate outside of Minnesota. All you have to do is get a couple Vikings fans to start talking about Christian Ponder, Adrian Peterson, Jared Allen, their chances of making the playoffs, etc. As long as they are within close proximity to the intake, the machine hums along smoothly.

I asked him what the fecal matter chute was for. He said I may want to run the machine after a Vikings game. I asked him what the (He called it the VLTL) thermal limiter did. He said that it showed Vikings failings to keep the machine from over-revving, and added that the pig urine cooling system obviously funtioned to keep the machine cool.

I was curious as to why they used pig urine to cool the unit instead of say, Ethyl Glycol.

He said, "Now son, you do realize that this unit was engineered and manufactured in Minnesota- you ever see those bridges they build out there? Go ahead and run car anti-freeze in it, it's just that those guys just never thought of that, and you may void my warranty."

I asked where am I gonna get some Vikings fans to run it?

He said that the Obama administration is going to pay for that too! All I need to do is call any of the Democratic campaign offices in Minnesota and they will ship me out as many as I need, dependent upon the size of my shredding packing task.

"These are shovel - ready - alternative - energy - green jobs", he explained. "The government is payin' for that too".
Seemed to make sense on this day, lol I accidentally hung up on him, as I thought our conversation was over... he just kept sayin' "The government is gonna pay for that too."

The unit will be off current rental November 7th, he said.
Wade
  • Wade
  • Veteran Member
12 years ago

Do you ring the egg white out of the shell with your finger like my grandma use to as well? Fuck dude, your time is worth more money than the insulation would cost to have someone blow it in.

Originally Posted by: DakotaT 



Omigosh. DakotaT *does* know about opportunity cost after all.

Now all we need to do is figure out how to get him to apply it to his faith in the "improvement' certain politiians might bring. [grin1]

We'll make an anarchist out of you yet, Troy. [grin1]


And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
Romans 12:2 (NKJV)
DakotaT
12 years ago
So this is what you fucks did all day while I was working? And yes Wade, I know what OC is. Believe it or not I got A's in 6 credits of Economics.
UserPostedImage
macbob
12 years ago

Imagine standing around stuffing a few pieces of paper into a standard paper shredder for hours upon hours upon hours

Originally Posted by: gbguy20 



I see a problem with your plan dfoster--you can't wipe until after you've shredded the paper (or your shredder will be very, very unhappy) and in addition to the likely mess you'll have little bits of paper stuck all over your butt. 🤔

Though the chipper might be a viable option, I'd still go VR's route...
Wade
  • Wade
  • Veteran Member
12 years ago

I shouldn't even respond to this query, what with the dumbass twins dfosterf and dakotaT attempting to talk smack, however...

And let me preface this foster, by saying that you have no need for insulation in the winter, since all of the hot air that you blow out your ass is more than suffcient to heat the entire state of Pennsylvania.

But that is neither here nor there, as other fine people might benefit from my expertise in thermal dynamics and chemical transposition.



OK then, stick with me here.......

Foster, to accomplish the task of converting paper in any form, into suitable insulation material, you will need a retroencabulator.
This unit can be rented at any suitable equipment rental facility for a very nominal cost.

The retroencabulator is a fantastic piece of equipment designed for just such a task. I myself have used one several times for various applications.

How it works:
Thebase-plate is made of prefabulated amulite, surmounted by a malleable logarithmic casing in such a way that the two spurving bearings are in a direct line with the pentametric fan.

What this does is allow the main winding of the normal lotus-o-delta type to be placed in panendermic semi-boloid slots in the stator, and every seventh conductor being connected by a nonreversible trem'e pipe to the differential girdlespring on the 'up' end of the grammeters.

Hence, this allows forty-one manestically spaced grouting brushes arranged to feed into the rotor slipstream a mixture of high S-value phenylhydrobenzamine and 5% reminative tetryliodohexamine.

And since both of these liquids have specific pericosities given by P = 2.5C.n^6-7 where n is the diathetical evolute of retrograde temperature phase disposition and C is Cholmondeley's annular grillage coefficient…

presto changeo..... there you have it, paper into insulation!



It just does not get any simpler that that, folks.

Originally Posted by: vikesrule 



Gee, now the engineer is masturbating right there in front of all of us.

Where's the church lady when you need her?


And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
Romans 12:2 (NKJV)
4PackGirl
12 years ago
my husband, who has built 100's of homes says it's a bad idea, a waste of time & effort, & that you should get REAL insulation & do it the right way.
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