SINCITYCHEEZE
11 years ago


Four old retired guys are walking down a street in Yuma ,

Arizona . They turn a corner and see a sign that says,

"Old Timers Bar - ALL drinks 10 cents." They look at each other

and then go in, thinking, This is too good to be true.



The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the

room, "Come on in and let me pour one for you! What 'll it

be, gentlemen?"



There 's a fully stocked bar, so each of the men orders a

martini. In no time the bartender serves up four iced

martinis - shaken, not stirred - and says, "That 'll be 10

cents each, please."



The four guys stare at the bartender for a moment, then at

each other. They can 't believe their good luck. They pay the

40 cents, finish their martinis, and order another round.

Again, four excellent martinis are produced, with the

bartender again saying, "That 's 40 cents, please." They pay

the 40 cents, but their curiosity gets the better of them.

They 've each had two martinis and haven 't even spent a

dollar yet.



Finally one of them says, "How can you afford to serve

martinis as good as these for a dime apiece?"



"I 'm a retired tailor from Phoenix ," the bartender says,

"and I always wanted to own a bar. Last year I hit the

Lottery jackpot for $125 million and decided to open this

place. Every drink costs a dime. Wine, liquor, beer - it 's

all the same."



"Wow! That 's some story!" one of the men says.



As the four of them sip at their martinis, they can 't help

noticing seven other people at the end of the bar who don 't

have any drinks in front of them and haven 't ordered

anything the whole time they 've been there.



Nodding at the seven at the end of the bar, one of the men

asks the bartender, "What 's with them?"


The bartender says, "They 're retirees from Wisconsin,

They 're waiting for Happy Hour when drinks are half-price.

Wisconsin Born, Packer Bred
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Formo
11 years ago
GUComics.com
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Thanks to TheViking88 for the sig!!
dfosterf
11 years ago

Pulled Over for Speeding














A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding...

Officer: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my fifth DUI.

Officer: Can I see the registration for this vehicle?

Driver: Oh, it's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?

Driver: Yeah. Oh, but come to think of it, I think I saw the registration in the glove compartment when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: You have a gun in there?

Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot the lady who owns the car. She's in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the trunk?!?

The officer tells the man to hold on, backs off carefully, and calls for backup. Quickly, the car is surrounded by police, and the captain approaches the driver to handle the situation.

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?

Driver: Sure, Officer.

Captain: Hmm, this license is just fine. Whose car is this?

Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.

Captain: Could you slowly open the glove compartment, please, so I can see if there's a gun in there?

Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

He opens it, and sure enough, there's no gun.

Captain: Would you mind if we opened the trunk? I was told you said there's a body in there.

Driver: No problem.

The trunk is opened, nothing in there but a spare tire.

Captain: The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove compartment, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the kid told you I was speeding, too!

Fan Shout
packerfanoutwest (1h) : Inactives tonight for the Pack: Alexander- knee Bullard - ankle Williams - quad Walker -ankle Monk Heath
packerfanoutwest (1h) : No Jaire, but hopefully the front 7 destroys the line of scrimmage & forces Rattler into a few passes to McKinney.
packerfanoutwest (1h) : minny could be #1 seed and the Lions #5 seed
Zero2Cool (4h) : We'd have same Division and Conference records. Strength of schedule we edge them
Zero2Cool (4h) : I just checked. What tie breaker?
bboystyle (4h) : yes its possible but unlikely. If we do get the 5th, we face the NFCS winner
Zero2Cool (4h) : Ahh, ok.
bboystyle (4h) : yes due to tie breaker
Zero2Cool (4h) : I mean, unlikely, yes, but mathematically, 5th is possible by what I'm reading.
Zero2Cool (4h) : If Vikings lose out, Packers win out, Packers get 5th, right?
bboystyle (4h) : Minny isnt going to lose out so 5th seed is out of the equation. We are playing for the 6th or 7th seed which makes no difference
Mucky Tundra (5h) : beast, the ad revenue goes to the broadcast company but they gotta pay to air the game on their channel/network
beast (6h) : If we win tonight the game is still relative in terms of 5th, 6th or 7th seed... win and it's 5th or 6th, lose and it's 6th or 7th
beast (6h) : Mucky, I thought the ad revenue went to the broadcasting companies or the NFL, at least not directly
Zero2Cool (6h) : I think the revenue share is moot, isn't it? That's the CBA an Salary Cap handling that.
bboystyle (6h) : i mean game becomes irrelevant if we win tonight. Just a game where we are trying to play spoilers to Vikings chance at the #1 seed
Mucky Tundra (6h) : beast, I would guess ad revenue from more eyes watching tv
Zero2Cool (6h) : I would think it would hurt the home team because people would have to cancel last minute maybe? i dunno
beast (7h) : I agree that it's BS for fans planning on going to the game. But how does it bring in more money? I'm guessing indirectly?
packerfanoutwest (7h) : bs on flexing the game....they do it for the $$league$$, not the hometown fans
Zero2Cool (8h) : I see what you did there Mucky
Zero2Cool (8h) : dammit. 3:25pm
Zero2Cool (8h) : Packers Vikings flexed to 3:35pm
Mucky Tundra (8h) : Upon receiving the news about Luke Musgrave, I immediately fell to the ground
Mucky Tundra (8h) : Yeah baby!
Zero2Cool (8h) : LUKE MUSGRAVE PLAYING TONIGHT~!~~~~WOWHOAAOHAOAA yah
Zero2Cool (9h) : I wanna kill new QB's ... blitz the crap out of them.
beast (9h) : Barry seemed to get too conservative against new QBs, Hafley doesn't have that issue
Zero2Cool (10h) : However, we seem to struggle vs new QB's
Zero2Cool (10h) : Should be moot point, cuz Packers should win tonight.
packerfanoutwest (10h) : ok I stand corrected
Zero2Cool (10h) : Ok, yes, you are right. I see that now how they get 7th
Zero2Cool (10h) : 5th - Packers win out, Vikings lose out. Maybe?
beast (10h) : Saying no to the 6th lock.
beast (10h) : No, with the Commanders beating the Eagles, Packers could have a good chance of 6th or 7th unless the win out
Zero2Cool (10h) : I think if Packers win, they are locked 6th with chance for 5th.
beast (10h) : But it doesn't matter, as the Packers win surely win one of their remaining games
beast (10h) : This is not complex, just someone doesn't want to believe reality
beast (10h) : We already have told you... if Packers lose all their games (they won't, but if they did), and Buccaneers and Falcons win all theirs
Zero2Cool (10h) : I posted it in that Packers and 1 seed thread
Zero2Cool (11h) : I literally just said it.
packerfanoutwest (11h) : show us a scenario where Pack don't get in? bet you can't
Zero2Cool (11h) : Falcons, Buccaneers would need to win final two games.
Zero2Cool (11h) : Yes, if they win one of three, they are lock. If they lose out, they can be eliminated.
packerfanoutwest (11h) : as I just said,,gtheyh are in no matter what
Zero2Cool (11h) : Packers should get in. I just hope it's not 7th seed. Feels dirty.
packerfanoutwest (11h) : If packers lose out, no matter what, they are in
packerfanoutwest (11h) : both teams can not male the playoffs....falcon hold the tie breaker
packerfanoutwest (11h) : if bucs win out they win their division
beast (11h) : Fine, Buccaneers and Falcons can get ahead of us
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