Zero2Cool
4 years ago
I'm not really sure what is wrong with me.

Throughout the years (since Keiana was tiny kid) I was told over and over again how I'd cry like a baby when she moves out. I'd rebut that stating I didn't think I would. And the retort was "of course you will, and you will because you love her". As we drove from Green Bay to La Crosse, I was thinking of how excited I was for her, for branching out on her own. We unloaded all of her stuff and I asked if she wanted to get something to eat or needed help with anything else and she said "I think I'm good" looking her stuff like she just wanted to unpack. So, I told her I was proud of her, that I loved her and started my drive home.

I didn't tear up.

On my way home I started tearing up as I thought, does that mean I don't love my own daughter? Does she think I don't love her because I didn't cry? Why am I even questioning this? I know I love her. She has to know I love her. I'm just not sad that she's out on her own, why the hell would I be? I'm excited for her. I'm excited to see her successes, her failures, her picking herself up when she falls. I'm excited to see her live!

But, it still doesn't stop the insecurity I feel about it all.

I dunno.

These last few months have been the tip of the iceberg from what I've been feeling over the years. We all lose people, but I had a very small circle and the circle feels like a dot now. I guess that's just life though, right? It's just hurts that most of those who knew me best are gone.

I try to find things to give me purpose and while I've always trusted there's good in people and people have good intentions ... I'm just not so sure anymore. I'm losing faith in that. I just don't understand the purpose of anything anymore. We seem to be so quick to react to something without even trying to find out the truth. It's disheartening.

I guess, it just sucks realizing how insignificant you are and that you don't matter.
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Cheesey
4 years ago
You do matter Kevin, especially to your children.
And just because you didn’t react as others do, or did, doesn’t mean you don’t love your daughter!
Everyone deals with things differently. There is no “right way” or “wrong way”. So don’t sweat it!
She KNOWS you love her. You showed that to her every day!
Maybe those that cry do so because they realize they didn’t show the love to their kids every day like they SHOULD have.
Maybe that caused their tears.
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wpr
  • wpr
  • Preferred Member
4 years ago
Kevin, don't listen to what people say. They are not in control of your emotions. I am willing to bet most of the people who said "you are going to cry" are women. I mean no disrespect but they are wrong. My WIFE cried. I didn't. We sent two kids off to college. Our son to Basic Training and then when he deployed to Afghanistan. No tears from me. Internalized anxiety? Absolutely.

I hear time and time and time again how someone (almost always a woman) says "I just want to keep him/her like he/she is right now." No they don't. First that means the child has mental issues and can't develop into a fully functioning adult. Second the parents eventually grow tired of being responsible for the care and feeding of their kids in perpetuity. Especially if diapers are involved.

In short there is nothing wrong with you for wanting your daughter to spread her wings and fly solo. The next things on your agenda is watching Keiana graduate magna cum laude- I mean Summa cum laude then walking her down the aisle. After that, grand kids! BOOM!

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wpr
  • wpr
  • Preferred Member
4 years ago
Addendum- just in case someone thinks I am saying real men don't cry, I don't mean that at all.
I have been texting my wife about a pink glowworm I bought for our granddaughter. She was stillborn so we never had the chance to give it to her. It's sitting in a box in the closet. I just sent my wife a note asking her what she thinks about giving it to my cousin's baby girl. Yes I am crying. I don't want to give it away but it hurts whenever we see it just sitting there. It's like a hot knife when I watch my grandson play with his green one.
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Cheesey
4 years ago
My Dad taught me that there is nothing wrong with a man crying. God gave us emotions for a reason. The shortest verse in the Bible is “Jesus wept”.
I cry....and am not ashamed of it.
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Zero2Cool
4 years ago
This is the part that bothers me. I know she knows, but why the hell would I question it? I dunno. She's been messaging me today telling me how the showers are like camping, her and her roommate have been bumming around figuring things out and she took the bus and said the bus ride was pretty nice. She's got a job out there.

And I'm not ashamed of crying. I'm an emotional person. I wear it on my sleeve. If someone judges me for that, so be it. The thing that hits me is how so many correlated tears to love. I've always thought that when everyone is going one direction and I'm going the other direction... it is me who is wrong.
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wpr
  • wpr
  • Preferred Member
4 years ago

This is the part that bothers me. I know she knows, but why the hell would I question it? I dunno. She's been messaging me today telling me how the showers are like camping, her and her roommate have been bumming around figuring things out and she took the bus and said the bus ride was pretty nice. She's got a job out there.

Originally Posted by: Zero2Cool 



1. Everyone has a moment or to or ten thousand of doubt. It's normal.


And I'm not ashamed of crying. I'm an emotional person. I wear it on my sleeve. If someone judges me for that, so be it. The thing that hits me is how so many correlated tears to love. I've always thought that when everyone is going one direction and I'm going the other direction... it is me who is wrong.

Originally Posted by: Zero2Cool 



2. Not true at all.
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KRK
  • KRK
  • Veteran Member
4 years ago
We can learn alot about others feel by what they right. Z2C, You strike me as a level headed guy who generally keeps a calm head with occasional outbursts of rage. Like some of us, I would guess you keep things inside for to long before letting people know how you feel. You don't want to be viewed as a whiner or complainer. Further you seem to dislike destructive energy and hyper-critical thinking...neither of which is a bad thing...its just the way you are.

There is nothing wrong with you.

As far as the tearing up, you were happy for her...why should you tear up? She will be back. When she gets married, you may cry...maybe not. Crying does not mean you are a sensitive caring guy. Not crying may mean you just have better perspective and you have thought through situations and emotions in advance. On the other hand crying is fine

You are at the age where things change. You just had a job change. Families change, relationships change. Our country is changing, our values are changing. This leads to people feeling as if their foundations are changing around them.

To the bigger issue

I try to find things to give me purpose and while I've always trusted there's good in people and people have good intentions ... I'm just not so sure anymore. I'm losing faith in that. I just don't understand the purpose of anything anymore. We seem to be so quick to react to something without even trying to find out the truth. It's disheartening.

I guess, it just sucks realizing how insignificant you are and that you don't matter.

Wrong.

First, You have purpose...you may not know your purpose, like your purpose, or understand your purpose....but you have one. At the very least, outside of your family, you doing this is very cathartic to people. it provides an outlet and sense of community for many of us.

Second, cuius veritatis. We seem to live in a society of parallel truths without absolute truth....nothing is right or wrong. We seem to lack the societal ability to engage in critical thinking, cause and effect relationship, and absolute right and wrong. We are judgmental if we think there are absolute truths.

Third there is alot of good in people, but everyone in your life will likely disappoint you or fall short of what you would have liked them to do, say or act as some point. We are all imperfect people...some more imperfect than others...but all are imperfect. But some people are no damn good....by design...but that's just the way it is.

Finally, there are other things I would enjoy discussing with you, but PM, email or telephone is the more appropriate method for their discussion.
In Luce tua Videmus Lucem KRK
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Zero2Cool (52m) : If healthy after, then thats all I care. Well, no drops would be nice
wpr (1h) : I made it through the 1st Q.
dfosterf (10h) : Just gotta figure out how.
dfosterf (10h) : Could have been a worse start, so there is that.
beast (10h) : Yeah, someone tell the Packers football season has started, seems like they weren't ready for it
Mucky Tundra (11h) : Sooooooo many penalties
Mucky Tundra (11h) : It may only be preseason, but this game is a trip to the dentist
Zero2Cool (11h) : Packers do bad -- FREAK OUT!!!!!!
Zero2Cool (11h) : Packers do good -- eh only preseason
dfosterf (11h) : Well that half was fun
Zero2Cool (13h) : Great, zayne is down
Zero2Cool (13h) : 13 minutes away from kickkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkoffff
Zero2Cool (15h) : Had Celebration of Life for my uncle up north. wicked rain hope it dont come south
Mucky Tundra (17h) : THE GREEN BAY PACKERS ARE PLAYING FOOTBALL TONIGHT!!!!!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!!!
Zero2Cool (18h) : Woo-hoo
TheKanataThrilla (19h) : NFL Network is broadcasting the game tonight, but not in Canada. Not sure why as no local television is showing the game.
beast (8-Aug) : But the Return from IR designations had to be applied by the 53 man cutdown.
beast (8-Aug) : It's a new rule, so it's not clear, but my understanding was that they could be IR'd at any time
Mucky Tundra (8-Aug) : *had to be IRed at 53
Mucky Tundra (8-Aug) : beast, I thought the designate return from IR players had to be IR at cutdowns to 53, not before
beast (8-Aug) : It's a brand new rule, either last season or this season, prior, all pre-season IRs were done for the season
beast (8-Aug) : But the Packers would have to use one for their return from IR spots on him, when they cut down to 53.
beast (8-Aug) : I think the NFL recently changed the IR rules, so maybe the season might not be over for OL Glover.
Zero2Cool (8-Aug) : Packers star Howton, first NFLPA prez, dies at 95 😔
dfosterf (8-Aug) : Apparently it is too complicated for several to follow your simple instructions, but I digress
dfosterf (8-Aug) : Zero- Did you see what I posted about Voice of Reason and his wife? She posted over at fleaflicker that they are both "In"
Zero2Cool (7-Aug) : Well, not crazy, it makes sense. Crazy I didn't notice/find it earlier
Zero2Cool (7-Aug) : it's crazy how one stored procedure to get data bogged everything down for speed here
dfosterf (7-Aug) : to herd cats or goldfish without a bowl. They reminded me of the annual assembly of our fantasy league
dfosterf (7-Aug) : out on a field trip, outfitting them with little yellow smocks. Most of the little folk were well behaved, but several were like trying
dfosterf (7-Aug) : Yesterday my wife and I spent the afternoon on the waterfront here in Alexandria, Va. A daycare company took about 15 three/four year olds
wpr (7-Aug) : seems faster. yay
dfosterf (7-Aug) : Wife of reason posted on the in/out thread on fleaflicker that both she and vor are in
Zero2Cool (7-Aug) : This page was generated in 0.135 seconds.
Mucky Tundra (7-Aug) : Tbh, I can never tell the difference in speed unless it's completely shitting the bed
Zero2Cool (7-Aug) : Sure does feel like site is more snappy
Zero2Cool (6-Aug) : I thought that was the Lions OL
Mucky Tundra (6-Aug) : Travis Glover placed on IR; seasons over for him
Zero2Cool (6-Aug) : found bad sql in database, maybe site faster now?
dfosterf (5-Aug) : I'm going to call that a good move.
Zero2Cool (4-Aug) : Packers sign CB Corey Ballentine
Zero2Cool (4-Aug) : I'm not sure how to kill the draft order just yet so it's not so confusing.
Mucky Tundra (4-Aug) : *to be able
Mucky Tundra (4-Aug) : and because it's not a dynasty league (which makes a lot more sense to be ability to trade picks)
Mucky Tundra (4-Aug) : Oh I know; I was just exploring and it blew my mind that you could trade picks because of the whole reordering thing
Mucky Tundra (4-Aug) : Zero, I think I preferred my offer: your 1st for my 15th rounder
Zero2Cool (4-Aug) : Keep in mind, we do a draft reorder once all members locked in
Zero2Cool (4-Aug) : You can have my 12th Rd for your 2nd round
Mucky Tundra (4-Aug) : Hey i didn't know we could trade picks in fantasy
Mucky Tundra (3-Aug) : Update: Rock has tried a cheese curd, promises it's not his last
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