I probably didn't need to be such an asshole to people in here, because I used some of you as outlets for my frustrations and I apologize for that. I guess if you were one of my victims - it means I thought enough of your character that you could take it and understand that I needed you for that.
Originally Posted by: DakotaT
I don't think anyone here was your outlet, not that I seen or noticed anyhow, so no apologies necessary.
In a somewhat related instance, the son of my daughters manager is dying from cancer. There will not be a happy ending. Apparently the manger is very rude and was extremely disrespectful towards me. I did not approve. My daughter said "daddy, her son is dying and she can't do anything about it". I am no stranger to death, I am also aware I do not handle it like most, or even as I should. When I was 18, actually the day prior to my birthday, a friend since 2nd grade took his life. I had dreams where Matt came to me saying "Kev, I just wanted to say you've always been a good friend and wanted to say goodbye". In these dreams I took Matt everywhere, whitewater rafting, snowboarding, surfing, hot air balloon rides, roller coasters, sporting events, everything and anything to show him how precious life was, to show him how much there is to live for. In these dreams we had a blast and Matt laughed more than I had ever seen before. I woke from these dreams in tears because in the end, Matt still took his life. I confided these dreams to only two people in this world. One of which was Nick, (who passed away March) told me it was Matt's way of saying "Kev, there wasn't anything you could have done".
The eventual point I'm getting at here ... in regards to her manger ... she shouldn't be angry at the world, not right now anyway. It is incredibly tragic and unfair to lose a child, but do not be angry, do not be sad, not yet. While that son has a heartbeat, do everything you can make everyday his best.
This applies to you. You were dealt an unfair hand, surely not the only unfair hand in your life. What if you, God forbid, you died in an accident and the last memory of your kids, especially Mia in the rough of her condition, of you was you being an asshole, or a jerk or pissed off at them because they didn't make their bed to your standards? Is that how you want to be remembered? Is that the last thought of you that you'd wish upon them?
Life is not all rosey and peachie. But that cruel fact does not mean we should't try to make it as such regardless of the situation.