Julie just left with Mia to go to the U of Minnesota to have a checkup on her cataract surgeries. No worries on that, and in July she has another MRI in Rochester. There's always a little concern with that, but she's been cancer free for just about three years now. I guess it takes 5 years for the official ruling, but we feel pretty comfortable that this nerve racking quest is going to have a happy ending.

As for her overall health, she's going to be a weaker kid for a while lacking balance and stamina. And I'm not sure that ever is going to change. All we can do is keep pushing her to exercise and stretch. I already have an athlete and a musician/dancer - but it remains to be seen what Mia is going to become.

Overall, Mia's long term outlook looks very good! We don't know yet what the chemo and radiation has done to her female parts, but there is a very good chance that she will never get to have her own kids. She already knows that she might not be able to have kids of her own one day - so I had to have that little talk with her about all the kids in the world that need parents because they don't have any and she could adopt other children. That made her feel pretty better. I'm hoping medical science can start making some breakthroughs so that maybe she can get help that way.

There's been a lot for Mia to deal with in her short life, and even though I'm very proud of my other two children's many accomplishments, my pride in Mia is incredible. Now if I could only get my pampered wife to quit babying Mia so much and allow me to install some hard assness to her.

We are very fortunate people to survive this test from God. I think we handled things pretty well, although I'm sure we could have done some things differently. I probably didn't need to be such an asshole to people in here, because I used some of you as outlets for my frustrations and I apologize for that. I guess if you were one of my victims - it means I thought enough of your character that you could take it and understand that I needed you for that.

---

Mia is already a tough young woman.
She will probably be President one day.
Many of us knew why you were venting and didn't mind.

---

Piss off, Troy.

But, before you do, give Mia a hug from me.

---

Formo, you're one that I'm not sorry I was an asshole to. You can hug her yourself someday, just don't get your hopes up that we're hugging it out. [grin1]

---

Glad to hear she is doing well, and I hope that continues.

fantastic news!!!
like wayne said - she's already one of the strongest people i know & i have a feeling that lil girl is gonna go places!

Thats awesome news Dakota. She is going to be one strong lady and life can never throw her anything she can't handle now. As for you being an asshole I have to admit I just thought you were being normal like me lol

---

I don't think anyone here was your outlet, not that I seen or noticed anyhow, so no apologies necessary.


In a somewhat related instance, the son of my daughters manager is dying from cancer. There will not be a happy ending. Apparently the manger is very rude and was extremely disrespectful towards me. I did not approve. My daughter said "daddy, her son is dying and she can't do anything about it". I am no stranger to death, I am also aware I do not handle it like most, or even as I should. When I was 18, actually the day prior to my birthday, a friend since 2nd grade took his life. I had dreams where Matt came to me saying "Kev, I just wanted to say you've always been a good friend and wanted to say goodbye". In these dreams I took Matt everywhere, whitewater rafting, snowboarding, surfing, hot air balloon rides, roller coasters, sporting events, everything and anything to show him how precious life was, to show him how much there is to live for. In these dreams we had a blast and Matt laughed more than I had ever seen before. I woke from these dreams in tears because in the end, Matt still took his life. I confided these dreams to only two people in this world. One of which was Nick, (who passed away March) told me it was Matt's way of saying "Kev, there wasn't anything you could have done".

The eventual point I'm getting at here ... in regards to her manger ... she shouldn't be angry at the world, not right now anyway. It is incredibly tragic and unfair to lose a child, but do not be angry, do not be sad, not yet. While that son has a heartbeat, do everything you can make everyday his best.

This applies to you. You were dealt an unfair hand, surely not the only unfair hand in your life. What if you, God forbid, you died in an accident and the last memory of your kids, especially Mia in the rough of her condition, of you was you being an asshole, or a jerk or pissed off at them because they didn't make their bed to your standards? Is that how you want to be remembered? Is that the last thought of you that you'd wish upon them?

Life is not all rosey and peachie. But that cruel fact does not mean we should't try to make it as such regardless of the situation.

---

7 Stages of Grief... 

1. SHOCK & DENIAL
2. PAIN & GUILT
3. ANGER & BARGAINING
4. "DEPRESSION", REFLECTION, LONELINESS
5. THE UPWARD TURN
6. RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH
7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE


Some people just can't help it Kevin. She will have to work though it the best she can. Don't expect her to do more than what she is able to do.

Others list 5 stages 

Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance

---

Ya, I know. We all handle aspects of life and death in varying degrees. If that boy has 3 weeks, 3 months or 3 years to share our air ... I feel the mother would be better served to her son if she were to make the most of every minute. I have resisted the temptation of talking to the manager, but then think, who the hell am I to do so? I wanted to see if I could be a "Big Brother" for him. Teach him how to throw a football, catch a baseball, shoot a basketball, etc ... ... it's just not my place to do so.

Who knows, perhaps she's the opposite within the confines of her home and as Troy said about an outlet, maybe being rude, angry and disrespectful to others is her release? That said, I'd gladly be the punching bag for such punishment if it meant the boy was having a better life experience because of it.

---