Trust is a funny thing.
No one can be made to trust another person. If you have to be told, you aren't trusting. Rules of law, therefore, are both evidence of a lack of trust and an encouragement not to trust.
Trust has to be earned, some say. But is it trust that has to be earned, or is it a willingness to risk that has to be adopted if true trust is to occur? Trust is an act of faith about what the future holds. But the future, by its nature, is uncertain. Past behavior is an indicator of future behavior, but part of human nature is the possibility of change (for good or for bad).
So if one is to trust, one must be willing to accept that trust may be misplaced. One must recognize that the person trusted may fall short of trustworthiness. They may fall short because of venality, because of an inability to resist temptation, because of family worries, or a hundred other possible reasons. But whoever the person trusted is, ANYONE can fall short of trustworthiness. I'd go so far is to say that every one of us has and will fall short of trustworthiness on more than one occasion. What, after all, is a broken promise, but a failure of trustworthiness, and who among us can say they have never broken a promise.
If any of us is to extend trust to anyone, it is not because the person is 100% to be trusted. It is because we believe the person is worthy of our faith
even though we know that person will at some point fall short.
God is 100% trustworthy (for those of us who believe in Him). But none of the rest of us are.
In some ways, capital-T trust in God is easier than small-t trust in a fellow human being. God being omni-everything, we know He can be Trusted. But to trust each other, we have to do so knowing we can't. We have to trust not just in the person's trustworthiness, we have to trust that the inevitable betrayal won't hurt too much.
And so trust, for each of us, because a function of how much pain (for ourselves or for others) of betrayal can be handled.
It took me several decades to learn that not only that by most people's standards I trust too much, but to learn that I was okay with the consequences. I realize that I am always going to be more gullible, more taken advantage of, more ripped off, than the average person, because I tend to start from a position of trust. Because I tend to trust people until they show otherwise. And, because I believe people can change, I tend not to weigh what "they've already done" before I met them particularly highly.
It took me awhile to realize I would be a disaster in a position like Dexter's. Because while he
might trust too little, I
would trust too much.
I think this may be part of the reason I scorn political and "let's pass a law" solutions so often. Laws are passed because people don't believe certain other people can be trusted to do the right thing. Politicians are in the business of doing things because other people can't be trusted to make the right choices. And this doesn't sit well with me. For me, it is better to err on the side of trusting too much than on the side of trusting too little.
And I think that's why it bugs me particularly hard when people don't trust me or my judgment (e.g. at my current job). Not because I think I"m worthy of 100% trust. I'm not. But because people seem like they wouldn't consider me worthy unless they knew ex ante worthy of 100% trust -- a standard that I can never meet.
But I can't make them trust me. I can't make anyone trust anyone.
The only level of trust I can change is the one I myself decide to extend.
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
Romans 12:2 (NKJV)