Zero2Cool
13 years ago
I'm not sure if this is worthy of breaking the 'no off site content' rule, but I figured it could be interesting to see what others say about it. Unfortunately, this won't help DakotaT as he couldn't count to ten before finishing up his business.

No one on earth is quite as pleased  as a man who has just pleased a woman between the sheets. We love the care and attention you’ve paid to us for our own benefit, but we also love watching you bask in self-satisfaction. But as satisfied as you might be with yourself, sometimes we’re not quite as satisfied as you’d hoped: something relatively minor, but highly distracting, was a bit “off.”

Don’t be offended, darlings, but a few nips and tucks in your bedroom style might speed things along (in a good way)—leaving us more time for another go at it!

[list=1]

  • The clitoris is right there. Yes, right there. Not over here, not down there, not off to the side. It doesn’t move. Try to stay focused and play with the clit!
  • Take your socks off. Not a single thing is sexy about a man who is naked except for his socks.
  • Lubricant, lubricant, lubricant. We may feel “so wet” to you from our own fluids, but we actually need to be pretty drenched with water-based lube for business time.
  • Some women become very aroused by their imaginations, so a little dirty talk about  what you’re going to do to us stimulates our biggest sex organ: our brain! (But avoid these 36 words that kill the moment. )
  • If you’re going down on us, make sure to keep your tongue wet with spit. A dry tongue chafes down there!
  • Unless we’ve expressly indicated that we like our headlights to be tweaked, do not pinch our nipples in the heat of the moment. They’re very, very sensitive!
  • Sometimes a light touch is better than a strong one. And a sweet kiss with just your lips is better than a Labrador retriever-style kiss with your tongue.
  • We absolutely adore when you gently, tenderly suckle on our fingers (or our toes, for men with mouths of asbestos).
  • That look of concentration on your face makes it seem like you’re doing calculations in your head, not making love. Smile a little bit, why don’t you?
  • Nipples should be a pit  stop on the way to Vaginaville—get off the express train![/list]

  • Jessica Wakeman wrote:


    UserPostedImage
    Zero2Cool
    13 years ago
    I should have read this before posting. This is stuff you learn before leaving High School. The article reads more as if Jessica had a bad string of dates recently, than an educational piece.
    UserPostedImage
    wpr
    • wpr
    • Preferred Member
    13 years ago
    As I read it I couldn't help but think of the joke
    Q: How can you tell if a woman's had an orgasm? A: Who cares?
    UserPostedImage
    Nonstopdrivel
    13 years ago
    This chick reminds me of someone I fucked a few years ago. She whined for years that her husband was incapable of satisfying her, that she could not get off from intercourse, only oral sex, and other such tidbits. After a few years of being "best friends" (we had been deployed to Iraq together), we ended up in bed together. She was absolutely DREADFUL, one of the worst lays I have ever experienced. She was such a fucking control freak, she couldn't let go long enough to have an orgasm. Even worse, she had this sandpaper-rough ridge in her vagina that made intercourse physically painful -- I would rather get a handjob with a loofah than get off inside that vagina again. Her poor husband. I don't know how he can bear having sex with her. But they just had another kid together, so he must somehow. After my experience with her, I realized her sexual problems were at least as much her own fault as his.

    I could not stand to have a relationship with a woman who was so uptight that she could only manage to have an orgasm one way. Maybe I am just spoiled with my slutwife, but I can give her an orgasm from almost any part of her body. Orgasms for women are far more about the mental and emotional component than the physical element anyway. A couple weeks ago, my wife and I were in the middle of foreplay, and I leaned over to whisper in her ear: "I don't want your climax to depend on a particular rhythm or speed, but rather to flow out of your surrender and connection to me." My God . . . she went into a convulsive orgasm that lasted just over a minute; I wasn't even touching her genitals.

    That's why I always say, "Technique is for losers." If the only thing separating your woman from an orgasm is the particular technique or tempo you are using, you have lost the mental game, where it truly counts, and you seriously need to to start over. "Stay focused and play with the clit" is some of the most terrible, juvenile advice I have ever seen given to men. The clit should be one of the last destinations you arrive at; too many men treat it like an on/off switch as it is.

    And as for the admonition about lubricant, it sounds like this woman has either some mental hangups or some physical issues -- or both. Sure, there are times (during menstruation or pregnancy, for example) when a woman will have difficulties with sufficient lubrication, but if it becomes the norm to the point that she thinks all women need outside assistance, she needs to get checked out. Or find a new lover. Or learn how to relax. Or all of the above.

    This article has some good ideas (going gentle on the nipples and nibbling the fingers particularly), but overall, it reads like a perfect recipe for turning a man into a horrible, mechanical lover.
    UserPostedImage
    zombieslayer
    13 years ago
    I'm with NSD here.

    For every woman with a 10-point list, you'll find another woman where that 10-point list won't work whatsoever. My main model for instance doesn't need lube. My wife does (Junior was a huge baby and she had to be cut, leaving one part that doesn't lube naturally correctly).

    In summary, every woman is different. Even with oral, what drive one woman nuts will put another one to sleep.

    So maybe the best advice is to just try lots of things and see what works and what doesn't. Maybe your memory/experience is the best thing.
    My man Donald Driver
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    (thanks to Pack93z for the pic)
    2010 will be seen as the beginning of the new Packers dynasty. 🇹🇹 🇲🇲 🇦🇷
    DakotaT
    13 years ago
    I know one thing I never forget, make sure we're on her side of the bed when the juices flow. Why do I need to sleep in the wet spot?
    UserPostedImage
    Zero2Cool
    13 years ago

    I know one thing I never forget, make sure we're on her side of the bed when the juices flow. Why do I need to sleep in the wet spot?

    Originally Posted by: DakotaT 



    lmao, my ex asked me why it always had to be on her side of the bed.
    UserPostedImage
    Nonstopdrivel
    13 years ago
    Kat2 just read this list and said, "Wow, um, none of these things are right." =d>
    UserPostedImage
    wpr
    • wpr
    • Preferred Member
    13 years ago

    Kat2 just read this list and said, "Wow, um, none of these things are right." =d>

    Originally Posted by: Nonstopdrivel 



    they are for that little girl. which is why it is dumb to make a list for general purposes.
    over the years I have asked my wife about one suggestion or another. She says they may be fine for some women but not for her.
    UserPostedImage
    wpr
    • wpr
    • Preferred Member
    13 years ago

    I know one thing I never forget, make sure we're on her side of the bed when the juices flow. Why do I need to sleep in the wet spot?

    Originally Posted by: DakotaT 



    My wife got wash rags that only get used for this one purpose to save her from sleeping on the west spot. I don't do the laundry so I don't care. i said just don't put them in the linen closet because I don't want to wash my face with any of them.
    UserPostedImage
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    Martha Careful (29-Apr) : ty bboystyle...fat fingers
    bboystyle (29-Apr) : Tom*
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    beast (27-Apr) : Yeah, but also some of the wording suggestions Jax only pranked called the QB, not the others... and if he had an open spreadsheet & 3 calls
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    Mucky Tundra (27-Apr) : beast, according the Falcons statement Jax came across it on an ipad. If I had to guess, probably an open spread sheet or something
    Zero2Cool (27-Apr) : Simmons put up an emoji with cheese.
    beast (27-Apr) : Not sure anyone is interested in Isaiah Simmons... Collin Oliver might of taken his potential slot
    beast (27-Apr) : I'm going with Jax Ulbrich is not telling the whole truth... he accidentally came across it? Why would a defensive coordinator have a QB #?
    Zero2Cool (27-Apr) : He's not that great, but final piece of the script.\
    Zero2Cool (27-Apr) : If we add Isaiah Simmons, book your Super Bowl tickets
    Mucky Tundra (27-Apr) : Colts 1st round TE Tyler Warren also got prank called, was that Jax Ulbrich as well?
    Zero2Cool (27-Apr) : Jax Ulbrich, Jeff Ulbrich’s son, released an apology for his role in the Shedeur Sanders prank call.
    Martha Careful (27-Apr) : apparently he did not participate in practice or play on the east west shrine game nor the NFL combine. The kid was a mediocre spoiled brat
    Mucky Tundra (27-Apr) : Yeah that one that was a super wounded duck that Sanders supporters are highlighting to prove a point
    Zero2Cool (27-Apr) : Shough is the guy who missed guys at combine isn't he?
    beast (27-Apr) : It's not official until I'm dead! I have a chance still! (Not really)
    Mucky Tundra (27-Apr) : I could feel my body decomposing in real time when I read that
    Mucky Tundra (27-Apr) : @MIKEYSAINRISTIL Tyler Shough will officially be the last person drafted to the NFL born in the 1900’s
    Mucky Tundra (26-Apr) : saw the tweet, he meant the city
    Mucky Tundra (26-Apr) : Was that for the team or the city?
    Zero2Cool (26-Apr) : Adam Schefter @AdamSchefter · 3m Draft grade is in: Green Bay gets an A. The people, the city, the venue were all superb. NFL Draft’s next
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    Martha Careful (26-Apr) : 1 round 7 min, with one extra minute if there is a trade. 2nd round 4 minutes, 3rd -3, 2 thereafter IMO
    Martha Careful (26-Apr) : Agree
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    dfosterf (26-Apr) : 1st round to 7 minutes with one extension
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    Mucky Tundra (26-Apr) : @jalenreagors They’re discussing if Sheduer can go back to college on NFL Network LMFAOOOOO
    beast (26-Apr) : Great point Martha
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