Love is like a chocolate covered turd; once the chocolate wears off....

Life is like a s**t sandwhich.......the more BREAD you have, the less S**T you have to eat.
"CHEESEY"

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Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.



When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

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Never hit a man when he is down.....it's much easier to kick him.

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You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often.

I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."

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Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.



Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties.


The best part about procrastination is that you are never bored, because you have all kinds of things that you should be doing.

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Only a few left so I thought I would drop down to one at a time to stretch them out. that way i don't have to go look for more.


With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.

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