How do you talk to 13 and 14 year old kids about death? How do you tell them that that's life...with death? How do you comfort these kids when one of their own, who just graduated from 8th grade with them is gone, and all they have left is the memories?
This past Sunday evening a young boy whom I had the privilege of being his PE teacher in Missoula for 4th and 5th grades, drowned in a small lake here in Lolo. He had transferred to Lolo School in the middle of this past year, and the first day he was in school I was substituting and he saw me and came up and gave me a big hug and a "Yo, how's it going Mr. F?" He finished his 8th grade year here, and was going on to Missoula Sentinel High School, and more than likely, get a football scholarship to a Division 1 school. Every day I was at school he would find me and we'd talk about football, the Packers, (he was a Steelers fan), and life in general.
Connor, his name, had a tough few years growing up. He was picked on quite a bit because his mother was white and his father was black. Many times he would come to me or Dale (counselor at school) and pour his heart out about how hurt he was that the kids picked on him. Fortunately, here at Lolo School he didn't get picked on and was a very popular kid.
Connors mother died at the end of his 5th grade year, and I went to her funeral and along with other teachers and staff, comforted him and tried our best to see that he was okay. Now, I will be attending his funeral.
Tomorrow afternoon is a memorial service at Lolo School, and his girlfriend and several of the teachers asked if I would talk at the service. I feel privileged that as a substitute teacher at school they would ask me to speak, but it is going to be hard, and I'm not sure what to say to these kids. Oh, I'll manage, but as I stated in the first sentence.......how do you talk to these kids about death? When we were 14 didn't we think we were infallible? That nothing would happen to us? Life is forever?
Your thoughts and prayers for Connor and his dad would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
Bob
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