Zero2Cool
13 years ago
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Zero2Cool
13 years ago
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wpr
  • wpr
  • Preferred Member
13 years ago
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wpr
  • wpr
  • Preferred Member
13 years ago
Arrf. My secret is out.


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Pack93z
13 years ago
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"The oranges are dry; the apples are mealy; and the papayas... I don't know what's going on with the papayas!"
Pack93z
13 years ago
UserPostedImage
"The oranges are dry; the apples are mealy; and the papayas... I don't know what's going on with the papayas!"
wpr
  • wpr
  • Preferred Member
11 years ago
I was taking my new baby girl to the supermarket for the first time. I dressed her in pink from head to toe. At the store I placed her down in the shopping cart and put all the groceries and such around her.

Getting to the checkout line I noticed a small boy and his mother ahead of me. The boy was crying and begging for some special treat. "He wants some candy or gum and his mother won't let him have any", I thought.

Then I heard his mother's reply, "No!" she said looking in my direction. "You may not have a baby sister today. That lady got the last one."
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Cheesey
11 years ago
I was thinking of filming a cooking show starring men who sailed the seven seas, and what cookware they used to prepare their meals.

The name of the show?

"Pyrex of the Carribean"

(Yes....i made that lame joke up!)[grin1]
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wpr
  • wpr
  • Preferred Member
11 years ago
Beware of older men......


A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday.

She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results.

On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper.

Before leaving, she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but
how old do you think I am."

"About 32," is the reply.

"Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the
very same question.

The girl replies, "I'd guess about 29."

The woman replies with a big smile, "Nope, I'm 50."

Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on
her way down the street.

She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning
question.

The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30."

Again she proudly responds, "I'm 50, but thank you!"

While waiting for the bus to go home,
she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.

He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was
young there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very
forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then,
and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."

They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the best
of her.

She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead."

He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very
slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently
pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against
each other.

After a couple of minutes of this, she asks, "Okay, okay....How old am I?"

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says,
"Madam, you are 50."

Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could you
tell?"

The old man says, "Promise you won't get mad?"

"I promise I won't." she says.

"I was behind you at McDonalds..."
UserPostedImage
JustinAVA182
11 years ago
I got this one from the radio awhile back..

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at
him. She says hello. He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from.

So he says, "Do you know me? "To which she replies, "I think you' re the father of one of my kids.

"Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor Party that I made love to
on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery? "She looks into his eyes and says calmly.........

"No, I'm your son's teacher."
UserPostedImage
Fan Shout
buckeyepackfan (43m) : Sean Clifford signed to 53 man roster.
Martha Careful (7h) : Two terrific NCAA Football Semi-Final Games...We can only hope the Championship game is as good
Zero2Cool (10-Jan) : Eagles WR DeVonta Smith will be a DNP in today’s practice. He’s dealing with back tightness. But the expectation is that he’ll play Sunday.
Zero2Cool (10-Jan) : Jalen Hurts has cleared the concussion protocol. He’s playing Sunday.
Zero2Cool (10-Jan) : 𝕏avier McKinney First Team All-Pro
Zero2Cool (10-Jan) : NFL moves Vikings-Rams playoff tilt to Arizona due to fires
Zero2Cool (10-Jan) : Rams lose home field advantage for Monday game.
Mucky Tundra (9-Jan) : Notre Lame=Notre Dame, Luckeyes=Ohio State, Pedo St=Penn St
Zero2Cool (9-Jan) : ... It clearly was not what we were supposed to be in, certainly."
Zero2Cool (9-Jan) : Hafley says 3rd and 11 call there was a miscommunication.
Zero2Cool (9-Jan) : The only team I know is Texas from that. Who are the other three?
Mucky Tundra (9-Jan) : Notre Lame vs Pedo St tonight and the Luckeyes vs Texas tomorrow
Mucky Tundra (9-Jan) : Stud
Zero2Cool (9-Jan) : E. Cooper. Rookie of Month. Defense.
Mucky Tundra (8-Jan) : @AaronNagler · 2m Both Jordan Love and Malik Willis were Limited participants at Packers practice today.
Zero2Cool (8-Jan) : Johnson didn't make it until 2020. Ring 2023. 🤷 Personally, he should have been in years prior to Hall.
Zero2Cool (8-Jan) : HUMP DAY
beast (8-Jan) : Guys that have a good shot at making the NFL Hall of Fame usually get into their teams pretty fast
beast (8-Jan) : Yeah, but is Kampman and the others in the NFL Hall of Fame?
Zero2Cool (8-Jan) : Johnson was Hall of Fame, 2020. Should haev been in Ring a year later, not three years.
Zero2Cool (8-Jan) : I could be wrong there though
Zero2Cool (8-Jan) : Guys like Kampman, Tim Harris, Al Harris, etc all over 15 years. Hall of Fame is 5 year wait
Zero2Cool (8-Jan) : I guess I see players in Packers Hall come way later
beast (8-Jan) : Yeah, usually teams hall of fames are a much lower bar than the NFL
Zero2Cool (8-Jan) : is it uncommon for Hall before Ring?
Zero2Cool (8-Jan) : S Xavier McKinney named first-team All-Pro by NFLPA
beast (8-Jan) : I missed it, sorry, but he got into the NFL Hall of Fame years before that
Zero2Cool (8-Jan) : Jones took his sweet ole time!
Zero2Cool (8-Jan) : Yeah, he's in the ring of honor, just saw video and his name is up there
Zero2Cool (8-Jan) : Didn't they have a thing in 2023 for Jimmy's ring of honor? I swear I saw it
beast (8-Jan) : Though if they're legitimately trying to re-sign MM, then it makes sense.
beast (8-Jan) : Jerry Jones still hasn't put Jimmy Johnson in the Ring of Honor, but he's in the NFL's Hall of Fame, Jones is petty
Mucky Tundra (8-Jan) : Unless the Cowboys are planning an extension, seems kinda petty
beast (8-Jan) : Cowboys denied Bears request
Mucky Tundra (6-Jan) : From what I'm reading, MM is under contract through the 14th of January; after that he's free game
Zero2Cool (6-Jan) : McCarthy let go or not extended??
Mucky Tundra (6-Jan) : Chicago Bears have asked the Dallas Cowboys permission to interview Mike McCarthy for head coaching vacancy
Zero2Cool (6-Jan) : The winners page that is
Zero2Cool (6-Jan) : I was not hoping for that. It messes up the page lol
beast (6-Jan) : Thank you, and I was really opening we were going to get 4 or more tied for the top 3.
beast (6-Jan) : Thank you, and I was really opening we were going to get 4 or more tied for the top 3.
beast (6-Jan) : Thank you, and I was really opening we were going to get 4 or more tied for the top 3
Zero2Cool (6-Jan) : congrats beast on 2024 !
Zero2Cool (6-Jan) : congrats porky on winning 2023 pick'em! (oops sorry)
Zero2Cool (6-Jan) : Packers have $60M+ of 2025 cap space on paper TODAY.
Mucky Tundra (6-Jan) : Missed FG into a Lions TD; that'll do pig, that'll do
Mucky Tundra (6-Jan) : That might be it for the Vikings
Mucky Tundra (6-Jan) : Oh so the refs do know what intentional grounding is
Mucky Tundra (6-Jan) : what the hell was that Goff?! Not much pressure and he just air mails it to Harrison
Mucky Tundra (6-Jan) : They really need to to get rid of the auto first down for illegal contact
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