I agree with you about the difficulties of starting from scratch in your 50s, Alan, and about the fact that far too many employers treat their workers like crap.
I've come to believe that the only hope is to somehow put together a skill set that allows you to be an independent contractor. Something that gets done in "projects" across multiple organizations rather than "jobs" centered in a single company.
But I'm finding it real hard going to re-invent myself in my 50s. You can't just drop everything and "go back to school" and learn a new trade. And you can't just develop those new skills in your "spare time" (hahaha) either. And of course being in your 50s means health matters become more and more constricting.
What keeps me going -- besides the depression meds and the God thing, that is -- is when I can somehow find an hour or so every day where I'm doing something that fits my ideas of "the re-invention of Wade" or "the exit strategy from the crap of the job".
Even if I may never escape in reality, even if I never manage to "start over", even if I end up hating to get up every work day for the rest of my life, having an hour or so of "fun activity" that "moves me closer" to doing so keeps me going.
I guess what I'm saying is this: Don't think of "changing my life" as the goal (even though, this is in fact what you want to do). Instead pursue "moving
toward changing my life" as your goal. Then, when a day is done, instead of thinking of all the things you still have to do before things change, you can think of the day as a success as long as you "moved closer."
My guess -- my belief -- is that if you do a bit every day, you'll get to that ultimate goal, and sooner than you can imagine now. But even if you never get to that ultimate goal, you've strove for it in a way that you feel good about what you did accomplish.
I'm convinced that no one accomplishes everything they want to do in life. That for all of us, we're going to die leaving things undone and unaccomplished. That not only do we not finish everything on our "bucket list", we don't even finish making the full bucket list itself.
But I'm also convinced if we can convince ourselves (and each other) that we're making progress, and that each of the "small steps" of that progress are worth lots and lots, then we're going to be able to accomplish a lot more than we otherwise would.
And I'm betting that God will agree that we did good by doing so.
And maybe, in the end, this last is what keeps me going. It's not just that I feel better by "accenting the positive every day." It's that I think what God wants from me is striving for something positive every day. That I believe he knows I'm going to die with stuff undone, and that he's okay with that as long as I've been putting in the effort to do stuff.
To paraphrase Saint Vince, God doesn't much care whether I win. But he cares that I keep striving to win.
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
Romans 12:2 (NKJV)