The Onion's Guide to Superbowl XLV

Since69
Registered Topic Starter

13 years ago

OSN's Superbowl Preview

13 slides - definitely written by a Packers fan, methinks. Hysterical!

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Packers_Finland
Registered

13 years ago

Pretty damn funny. Especially liked the Aaron Rodgers bit.

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peteralan71
Registered

13 years ago

Holy shit. That is great!

In the Clay Matthews section: thick shag carpet matches the long drapes. Hmmmmm hahaha

Makes up for it with this: SIGNATURE MOVE: Uses 8,000-rpm spin to drill deep into the field and burst out from the ground beneath the unsuspecting quarterback. LOL!

Green Bay: Home of the Green & Gold. And the hunter orange. And the camouflage.

Packers_Finland
Registered

13 years ago

I thought the jab at Matthews was at "has difficulty wrapping up christmas gifts"

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Cheesey
Preferred Member

13 years ago

The funniest thing to me?
It was the fact that they didn't have any "real life" negative things to pick on with any of the Packers. Unlike "Pig Ben" (as i call him)

Kingkoopa
Registered

13 years ago

I loved the "Woodson must get to president to warn him, but can't through diplomacy". LOL, good stuff, thanks for posting.

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mi_keys
Senior Member

13 years ago

Rodgers: "Can make all the throws, but struggles with the incomplete pass"

Lol

Born and bred a cheesehead

porky88
Veteran Member

13 years ago

The Steelers part and the Packers Fans part made me laugh the hardest.

http://www.row12.com/

Greg C.
Registered

13 years ago

I like this one about Packer fans, as one of their weaknesses: "pretty much takes a tiny little Packers jersey to get them to love their kids."

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Dulak
Veteran Member

13 years ago

#10

Best player in league at smiling after the catch

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Fan Shout

beast (14m) : Dolphins offense can be explosive... I wonder if we'll have Alexander back

Zero2Cool (1h) : No Doubs could be issue Thursday

Mucky Tundra (6h) : Bears. Santos. Blocked FG

Zero2Cool (17h) : Bears. Vikings. OT

Mucky Tundra (17h) : Thems the breaks I guess

Mucky Tundra (17h) : Two players out and Williams had an injury designation this week but Oladapo is a healthy scratch

Zero2Cool (18h) : Packers inactives vs 49ers: • CB Jaire Alexander • S Kitan Oladapo • LB Edgerrin Cooper • OL Jacob Monk

TheKanataThrilla (20h) : Aaron Jones with a costly red zone fumble

Zero2Cool (21h) : When we trade Malik for a 1st rounder, we'll need a new QB2.

packerfanoutwest (23-Nov) : Report: Aaron Rodgers wants to play in 2025, but not for the Jets

beast (23-Nov) : That's what I told the Police officer about my speed when he pulled me over

packerfanoutwest (23-Nov) : NFL told Bears that Packers’ blocked field goal was legal

packerfanoutwest (22-Nov) : 49ers are underdogs at Packers, ending streak of 36 straight games as favorites

Zero2Cool (22-Nov) : 49ers might be down their QB, DL, TE and LT?

packerfanoutwest (22-Nov) : Jaire Alexander says he has a torn PCL

Zero2Cool (20-Nov) : Even with the context it's ... what?

Mucky Tundra (20-Nov) : Matt LaFleur without context: “I don’t wanna pat you on the butt and you poop in my hand.”

beast (20-Nov) : We brought in a former Packers OL coach to help evaluate OL as a scout

beast (20-Nov) : Jets have been pretty good at picking DL

Zero2Cool (20-Nov) : He landed good players thanks to high draft slot. He isn't good.

Zero2Cool (20-Nov) : He can shove his knowledge up his ass. He knows nothing.

beast (20-Nov) : More knowledge, just like bring in the Jets head coach

Zero2Cool (19-Nov) : What? Why? Huh?

beast (19-Nov) : I wonder if the Packers might to try to bring Douglas in through Milt Hendrickson/Ravens connections

Zero2Cool (19-Nov) : The Jets fired Joe Douglas, per sources

packerfanoutwest (19-Nov) : Jets are a mess......

Zero2Cool (19-Nov) : Pretty sure Jets fired their scouting staff and just pluck former Packers.

Zero2Cool (19-Nov) : Jets sign Anders Carlson to their 53.

Zero2Cool (19-Nov) : When you cycle the weeks, the total over remains for season. But you get your W/L for that selected week. Confusing.

packerfanoutwest (19-Nov) : the total and percentage are the same as the previous weeks

packerfanoutwest (19-Nov) : the totals are accurate..nrvrtmind

Zero2Cool (19-Nov) : I don't follow what you are saying. The totals are not the same as last week.

packerfanoutwest (19-Nov) : ok so then wht are the totals the same as last week?

Zero2Cool (19-Nov) : NFL Pick'em is auto updated when NFL Scores tab is clicked

Martha Careful (19-Nov) : The offense was OK. Let's not forget the Bear defense is very very good.

packerfanoutwest (19-Nov) : Who updates the leaderboard on NFLPickem?

beast (19-Nov) : Has the Packers offense been worse since the former Jets coach joined the Packers?

Zero2Cool (19-Nov) : Offense gets his ass in gear, this could be good.

Zero2Cool (19-Nov) : Backup QB helped with three wins. Special Teams contributed to three wins.

bboystyle (18-Nov) : Lions played outside thats why. They scored 16 and 17 in the only 2 outside games this year

Zero2Cool (18-Nov) : The rest of the NFL is catching up to Packers ... kicking is an issue throughout league

packerfanoutwest (18-Nov) : Packers DL Kenny Clark: We knew 'we were going to block' Bears' game-winning field goal attempt

Zero2Cool (18-Nov) : Lions seem to be throttling everyone, but only (only) got 24 lol maybe the rain is why

Zero2Cool (18-Nov) : Packers vs Lions game doesn't seem so bad.

beast (18-Nov) : Dennis Green "They are what we thought they were, and we let them off the hook!"

Martha Careful (17-Nov) : comment of the day Z2Cool "Bears better than we want to admit. Packers worse than we think. It's facts."

Mucky Tundra (17-Nov) : my worst case scenario: Bears fix their oline and get a coach like Johnson from the Lions and his scheme

Zero2Cool (17-Nov) : Bears get OL fixed amd we might have a problem

buckeyepackfan (17-Nov) : Pretty sure they already have scouting reports on guys who aren't even starting for their college team. The future is now for me.

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2024 Packers Schedule

Friday, Sep 6 @ 7:15 PM

Eagles

29 - 34

Sunday, Sep 15 @ 12:00 PM

COLTS

16 - 10

Sunday, Sep 22 @ 12:00 PM

Titans

30 - 14

Sunday, Sep 29 @ 12:00 PM

VIKINGS

29 - 31

Sunday, Oct 6 @ 3:25 PM

Rams

24 - 19

Sunday, Oct 13 @ 12:00 PM

CARDINALS

34 - 13

Sunday, Oct 20 @ 12:00 PM

TEXANS

24 - 22

Sunday, Oct 27 @ 12:00 PM

Jaguars

30 - 27

Sunday, Nov 3 @ 3:25 PM

LIONS

14 - 24

Sunday, Nov 17 @ 12:00 PM

Bears

20 - 19

Sunday, Nov 24 @ 3:25 PM

49ERS

38 - 10

Thursday, Nov 28 @ 7:20 PM

DOLPHINS

Thursday, Dec 5 @ 7:15 PM

Lions

Sunday, Dec 15 @ 7:20 PM

Seahawks

Monday, Dec 23 @ 7:15 PM

SAINTS

Sunday, Dec 29 @ 12:00 PM

Vikings

Saturday, Jan 4 @ 11:00 PM

BEARS