Since69
14 years ago
Excerpt:
Player To Watch: Former first-round draft pick Justin Harrell is chasing down quarterbacks better than ever with his new motorized wheelchair.

Hilarious linky... 
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musccy
14 years ago
Intangibles: Except for Matt, John, and Rick, who are pretty great guys, Vikings fans are pretty much ignorant, petulant bandwagoners

Best line of the article!
14 years ago
bah! i was just going to post this...not to mention quote the exact same thing musccy did!!

I agree with Twinkiegorilla.

bozz_2006 wrote:


Packers_Finland
14 years ago
This was the funniest of any team

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

* Strength: They play the Rams, so at least one of those teams won't have to lose every game this season

* Weakness: Looking at this roster, it may not be the best year to play in a stadium where fans have access to several functioning cannons

* Intangibles: Signing a rookie wide receiver named Mike Williams has done nothing but backfire throughout the entire history of the league

* Player To Watch: Remember Warrick Dunn? He was a fun player to watch. Seemed like a genuinely nice guy, too

"The Onion" wrote:


This is a placeholder
Packers_Finland
14 years ago
More funny ones

Philadelphia Eagles
Weakness: With the loss of Brian Westbrook, the Eagles have a major hole at starting knee injury and concussion


St. Louis Rams
Biggest Question: What sick fuck thought it would be a good idea for the Rams to face the defending Super Bowl champion Saints on the road Dec. 12?


Oakland Raiders
Strength: Just nice to see them outside getting some fresh air

Weakness: As a team, every single player on this roster fucking sucks

Jacksonville Jaguars
Strength: With stalwart Aaron Kampman at defensive end, opponents will be forced to throw at the weak secondary or run through the soft middle of their line

Weakness: Quarterback controversy between Luke McCown and David Garrard has coaches wondering if they should even have a quarterback at all

"The Onion" wrote:


This is a placeholder
Cheesey
14 years ago
From Cheesey's NFC North preview

Minnesota Vikings:
Strengths, With the "Waffle King" Brett Favre at the helm, the Vikings can be sure to get a good breakfast before every game.
Weakness: Having a head coach that looks like "Mr. Burns" from "The Simpsons" running the team. (Well, actaully just holding the reins as he waits for instructions from Favre)

Chicago Bears:
Strengths: Having so many large strong players which will come in mighty handy on "moving day" to load coach Lovie's mini van with his belongings.
Weakness: Jay "The Saviour" Cutler, trying to decide where he will be playing next year. Most likely candidate, the Oakland Raiders.

Detroit Lions:
Strengths: They are in first place, tied with the Packers and Bears.......until this weekend is over, of course. At which time they will be tied for second place in the division with the Vikings and Bears.
Weakness: Being the "Detroit Lions".

Green Bay Packers:
Strengths: Jermichael Finley, who says "Finley thinks he's the best tight end in the league. Finley thinks he will lead this team to a Super Bowl win."
Aaron Rodgers, who had several years of practice holding Brett Favre's jock strap, which kept his hands warm and supple for his shot at stardom.
Weakness: A defensive backfield that at times resembles a "chinese firedrill".

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Nonstopdrivel
14 years ago

several years of practice holding Brett Favre's jock strap . . . kept his hands warm and supple for his shot at stardom.

"Cheesey" wrote:



WTF? :downtown:
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Cheesey
14 years ago
LOL! I was trying to "ONIONIZE" my post!LOL!
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Nonstopdrivel
14 years ago
I know -- it made me laugh. Doesn't change the fact it was completely out of left field!
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Users browsing this topic
    Fan Shout
    beast (12h) : 6 days
    wpr (17-Apr) : 7 days
    Zero2Cool (16-Apr) : sounds like Packers don't get good compensation, Jaire staying
    dfosterf (16-Apr) : Nobody coming up with a keep, but at x amount
    dfosterf (16-Apr) : Trade, cut or keep
    dfosterf (16-Apr) : that from Jaire
    dfosterf (16-Apr) : My guess is the Packers floated the concept of a reworked contract via his agent and agent got a f'
    Zero2Cool (16-Apr) : Yes, and that is why I think Rob worded it how he did. Rather than say "agent"
    dfosterf (16-Apr) : Same laws apply. Agent must present such an offer to Jaire. Cannot accept or reject without presenting it
    Zero2Cool (16-Apr) : I'm thinking that is why Rob worded it how he did.
    dfosterf (16-Apr) : The Packers can certainly still make the offer to the agent
    dfosterf (16-Apr) : Laws of agency and definition of fiduciary responsibility
    dfosterf (16-Apr) : Jaire is open to a reduced contract without Jaire's permission
    dfosterf (16-Apr) : The agent would arguably violate the law if he were to tell the Packers
    Zero2Cool (16-Apr) : That someone ... likely the agent.
    Zero2Cool (16-Apr) : So, Jaire has not been offered nor rejected a pay reduction, but someone says he'd decline.
    Zero2Cool (16-Apr) : Demovksy says t was direct communication with someone familiar with Jaire’s line of thinking at that moment.
    Zero2Cool (16-Apr) : Demovsky just replied to me a bit ago. Jaire hasn't said it.
    dfosterf (16-Apr) : Of course, that depends on the definition of "we"
    dfosterf (16-Apr) : We have been told that they haven't because he wouldn't accept it. I submit we don't know that
    dfosterf (16-Apr) : What is the downside in making a calculated reduced offer to Jaire?
    Zero2Cool (15-Apr) : Packers are receiving interest in Jaire Alexander but a trade is not imminent
    Zero2Cool (15-Apr) : Jalen Ramsey wants to be traded. He's never happy is he?
    Zero2Cool (15-Apr) : two 1sts in 2022 and two 2nd's in 2023 and 2024
    Zero2Cool (15-Apr) : Packers had fortunate last three drafts.
    dfosterf (15-Apr) : I may have to move
    dfosterf (15-Apr) : My wife just told the ancient Japanese sushi dude not enough rice under his fish
    Zero2Cool (14-Apr) : I think a dozen is what I need
    dfosterf (14-Apr) : Go fund me for this purpose just might work. A dozen nurses show up at 1265 to provide mental health assistance.
    dfosterf (14-Apr) : Maybe send a crew of Angels to the Packers draft room on draft day.
    Zero2Cool (14-Apr) : I am the Angel that gets visited.
    dfosterf (14-Apr) : Visiting Angels has a pretty good reputation
    Zero2Cool (14-Apr) : what
    Martha Careful (14-Apr) : WINNING IT, not someone else losing it. The best victory though was re-uniting with his wife
    Martha Careful (14-Apr) : The manner in which he won it was just amazing and wonderful. First blowing the lead then getting back, then blowing it. But ultimately
    Zero2Cool (12-Apr) : I'm guessing since the thumb was broken, he wasn't feeling it.
    dfosterf (10-Apr) : Looking for guidance. Not feeling the thumb.
    Mucky Tundra (10-Apr) : If they knew about it or not
    Mucky Tundra (10-Apr) : I don't recall that he did which is why I asked.
    Zero2Cool (10-Apr) : Guessing they probably knew. Did he have cast or something on?
    Mucky Tundra (10-Apr) : Did they know that at the time or was that something the realized afterwards?
    Zero2Cool (9-Apr) : Van Ness played most of season with broken thumb
    wpr (9-Apr) : yay
    Zero2Cool (9-Apr) : Mark Murphy says Steelers likely to protect Packers game. Meaning, no Ireland
    Zero2Cool (8-Apr) : Struggling to figure out what text editor options are needed and which are 'nice to have'
    Mucky Tundra (8-Apr) : *CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP*
    Zero2Cool (2-Apr) : WR who said he'd break Xavier Worthy 40 time...and ran slower than you
    Mucky Tundra (2-Apr) : Who?
    Zero2Cool (2-Apr) : Texas’ WR Isaiah Bond is scheduled to visit the Bills, Browns, Chiefs, Falcons, Packers and Titans starting next week.
    Zero2Cool (2-Apr) : Spotting ball isn't changing, only measuring distance is, Which wasn't the issue.
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