For those of you who were around in the 50's and 60's, and cruised around Vilas, Iron, and Oneida Counties of Northern Wisconsin, you may have caught sight of a psychedelic colored canoe, perched precariously on the roof of a 1953 Ford Station Wagon. I'm not admitting anything here.......well I guess the statue of limitations has run out......so, yeah, it was me and my buddy in crime, Larry.
We happened upon the canoe just sitting there on Wall Street in Eagle River. Not on the sidewalk.....on the street. Ernie, the town foot cop, wasn't around, so being the upstanding youth we were, we did our civic duty and removed the canoe from the street and right up onto the roof of Larry's Ford wagon. We figured we'd put an ad in the paper for a found canoe, but seeing as Eagle River didn't have a daily paper at that time, we scrapped that idea. We did the next best thing, went into Zimmpleman's Ice Cream Parlor and asked if anyone was missing a canoe. No one replied they were, so over an ice cream soda we figured "hey, finders keepers."
With that (we actually did try to find an owner, but the shape the canoe was in they figured let some other poor suckers have it) Larry and I became the proud owners of a slightly damaged MirroCraft Aluminum canoe. Slightly damaged can mean several different things to different people especially two teenage boys. Heck, to us, a car falling off a 200 foot cliff would only be "slightly" damaged after it hit bottom.
We got the canoe back to our place (Larry lived year round just behind our summer cottage) and went to work fixing up our "prize."
"Larry, I don't think putting screws in the bottom of the canoe is a good idea. Those holes will start to leak."
"Naw, they won't Bob, not if we put some pine sap around them first. They'll seal up just fine. Go get a handful of sap off the White Pine over there." By the end of the day I could have been the top receiver in the NFL with my eyes closed. Just put up a hand and Bam! What a catch, and this guy never fumbles when he gets hit. Amazing. Only problem is the refs would never get the ball out of my hands.
After a few hours, or maybe it was days, the canoe was ready to test in actual water. We hauled the beast down to the lake and got ready to launch it in Pickerel Lake. It was then we noticed a crowd had gathered on nearby docks to watch the festivities.
"It's gonna sink, you morons," came one encouraging comment.
"Kinda looks like a German U-boat used it for torpedo practice," one WWII veteran said.
Even my sister, hereafter called ShortStuff, got in the act. "That looks like a piece of shit," she said. My mom standing there was appalled that those words would come out of the mouth of a 12 year old girl, and my Dad fell off the dock laughing so hard.
Undaunted, Larry and I carefully let the canoe down into the cool waters and miracle of miracles, the thing didn't sink. At least not right away. That chapter is my next story. Cheers went up from the crowd and even my sister, shortstuff, had a good word. "It floats, but it still looks like a piece of shit."
Hey, don't look a gift canoe in the mouth.\
(the psychedelic part and its seaworthiness...next story.)
Anyone for a Weenie Roast?