MontanaBob
15 years ago
The men in our family, my brother-in-law (Einstein), my brother (smart-ass), my Dad (CEO of "Close Enough Construction Co.") and I were in the midst of building a new addition on our cottage. We took a break one day...one of several breaks that Einstein and I were famous for....when both John and I looked at the scrap pile of lumber.

"You looking at that sheet of plywood?" John asked.

"Yep, and look how its warped. Almost like our Banana Skiis."

"SURFBOARD!!" we both shouted at the same time. Amazing how John and I think alike. It's almost scary.

We got it out and cut down to a manageable size (3'X 8'), got eye bolts on one end (for the tow rope) and another rope to hold on to. We didn't think to sand it down, but in hindsight we should have.

We tried several slow runs with each of us taking turns on the board while the other one of us and my brother drove the boat and played lookout. Lookout became a very important position we soon found out.

The next day the lake was glass smooth in late afternoon so out we went out to see if we could stand up on the board and get a little more speed up. After several tries I managed to get standing and what a rush that was. Tipped back so just the rear edge of the board was slicing through the water, the rooster tail was truly impressive. At least that's what others say. I couldn't see a thing...my eyes were frozen shut with fear.

A slight wave was our undoing. I managed to keep balance for a few seconds, then bailed out backwards as the board became airborne. I vaguely remember the board sailing upwards about 20 feet, then plummet straight down towards the surface. It hit the water at a perfect angle, perfect that is, to keep going straight down to the bottom of the lake.

The boat, and old Span America speed boat with a new Merc 75 HP, was moving at full speed when the board hit the water. Water acts as a good brake, but add to that a 3x8 sheet of plywood at just the perfect angle in the water, and that boat stopped like it had hit a wall.

Luckily, the boat had a tripod tow rig that the rope attached to above the back of the boat. Had the tow rope been attached to the stern directly, I think we'd have been diving for not only the board, but the whole rear half of the boat. And my little brother.

(See the other part of the story to fill in here.)

We managed to rent an Aquanaut device, basically an innertube with an air compressor on it and long air hoses and face masks, and the Cousteau Brothers were in business. We were smart enough to mark the spot of the
"SOS".....Sinking Of Surfboard....so we had no trouble finding it. That is, until we submerged about 10 feet and found ourselves in a world of weeds and other slimy stuff, and probably a big old Musky just lurking out of sight, ready to make a meal out of us, or at least our flippers.

We found the rope floating in some weeds, and being the geniuses we were, followed the rope down to the board. It took us two hours and one refill of the Aquanaut's gas tank, but we managed to free the board and get it up into the "mother ship". When we surfaced we noticed an unusual number of boats around us. No one was fishing either. All eyes were on the two aliens just breaking the surface.

"Aw, shoot!" old man Russwald shouted. "It's just John and Bob, them two idiots from the North shore."

With that the crowd of boats putted away, people shaking their heads in disappointment. The last thing I heard as we got up in our boat was, "If'n I'd know it was them two knuckleheads, I'd come out earlier and turned off that compressor on them."

Hey, wadda ya want? The entertainment was free!
Anyone for a Weenie Roast?
Pack93z
15 years ago
LOL.. well done Bob.. I hope you continue to rattle off your stories.. they are treats to read.
"The oranges are dry; the apples are mealy; and the papayas... I don't know what's going on with the papayas!"
MontanaBob
15 years ago
Thank you pack93z. The scary part is all my stories are based on true incidents. As my mother says, "It's amazing you're still with us."

I'll keep parts of them coming in the future.
Anyone for a Weenie Roast?
zombieslayer
15 years ago
Heh. Good read. Reminds me of a joke.

Do you know what every Montana person's last words are?




"Hey y'all. Watch this!"
My man Donald Driver
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