The hospital called yesterday just to check on me, (see, somebody cares) and to advise me that I could remove the compression bandage from the surgery site now. (big medical words....why don't they say just rip the damn thing off?)
My wife gets home and I'm already prepared for this process.
Surgical gloves.....check
Alcohol.................check 80 proof.....check
Cotton swabs........check
clean dressing.......check......(old t-shirt from garage rag bin is fine, isn't it?)
sutures.................check....just in case
The wife: "Ok, lets get this over with. Drop em."
Bob: "You don't sound very compassionate at the moment."
Wife: "Right now I'm in charge and this is as compassionate as I get. WOW, they did a number on you didn't they?"
Bob: "I told you it hurts and I'm sore at the incision."
Wife: "I'm not talking about the incision, dummy. Your "thingy" looks like the Yankees used it for batting practice before game 6 of the series. Look at that color. I gotta get a picture of this. That's the exact color I want for those bare walls in the new garage. We can take it to Home Depot and they can match that color up on that computer thing they have."
Bob: "NO pictures....NO Home Depot........NO color match.......... just get the damn bandage off."
Wife: "OK sweety....you asked for it." Riiipppppp!! "There, you feel better?"
Anyone for a Weenie Roast?