Formo
  • Formo
  • Veteran Member Topic Starter
12 years ago

Formo i just walked the same path with my dad a year ago...it is so hard to watch the man we considered superman as children slowly fade away...Being there letting him know he is loved is important and i'm glad to hear your family is their to support him.
They say we are never real men until our father passes...but i can tell you i never felt so empty and heartbroken the day superman passed. Stay strong Formo... sounds like you have a fantastic support team around you!!!

Originally Posted by: gotarace 



Understatement of the decade.

This is the worst.
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wpr
  • wpr
  • Preferred Member
12 years ago

Understatement of the decade.

This is the worst.

Originally Posted by: Formo 



When my Dad still had a little strength I crawled up on his bed and put my arm around him and asked him, "What am I going to do without you?" and gave him a hug and a kiss. I still felt like I was his little boy.

The slow painful process of watching them slip away is hard to bare. But I found it helped me mentally prepare.

I guess we are never fully prepared. Now I am crying again. it is strange. None made me more angry than my dad. And yet I would give a king's ransom for a day, an hour or even 5 minutes with him. I know my grief is only a fraction of what Mom is going through.

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Formo
  • Formo
  • Veteran Member Topic Starter
12 years ago

When my Dad still had a little strength I crawled up on his bed and put my arm around him and asked him, "What am I going to do without you?" and gave him a hug and a kiss. I still felt like I was his little boy.

The slow painful process of watching them slip away is hard to bare. But I found it helped me mentally prepare.

I guess we are never fully prepared. Now I am crying again. it is strange. None made me more angry than my dad. And yet I would give a king's ransom for a day, an hour or even 5 minutes with him. I know my grief is only a fraction of what Mom is going through.

Originally Posted by: wpr 



Yeah. It is. I've found, thought, how thankful I've become because of this. I thought about the time we've been able to not take forgranted this past year and a half. We've all laid it out on the table when it came to spending quality time with family. As much as it sucks to watch our Supermen fade away, at least we get those precious last moments with them unadulterated of meaningless banter.
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Wade
  • Wade
  • Veteran Member
12 years ago

Yeah. It is. I've found, thought, how thankful I've become because of this. I thought about the time we've been able to not take forgranted this past year and a half. We've all laid it out on the table when it came to spending quality time with family. As much as it sucks to watch our Supermen fade away, at least we get those precious last moments with them unadulterated of meaningless banter.

Originally Posted by: Formo 



Amen, brother. Amen.
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
Romans 12:2 (NKJV)
wpr
  • wpr
  • Preferred Member
12 years ago
Last week my 82 year old neighbor was walking across the street. The driver of a car was watching the people on the sidewalk and didn't see him. His injuries were fatal. His family never got a last chance to say anything. It is painfully hard to watch him linger. It is harder to not get the opportunity.
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Formo
  • Formo
  • Veteran Member Topic Starter
12 years ago
Today's meeting with the oncologist brought bad news. They will no longer be administering chemo and according to the doctor, the projected time-line for Daddy is 3-4 weeks. This weekend we'll be going over hospice plans and such. For those that read/post on the CaringBridge, I humbly ask you to not acknowledge any more information than what is posted there as we are still figuring out how we are going to spread the news to the rest of the family. But I figured I'd update you with the information I have. I told one of my bosses today (at job #1) and actually embarrassed myself by breaking down and bawling. I couldn't even spit out the words, I just stood there choking. I actually laugh about it now because he didn't have a clue as to why I was bawling when he asked if I were willing to work over the weekend. As soon as I composed myself and told him why I couldn't work this weekend, I left work.

Tomorrow our plans are to go to the Gopher football game (I need an escape, even if it's a weak one, football is one.. Many of you know this) and as soon as the final whistle blows, Shanna and I will be heading up North for some more quality time. I'm hoping to get all my crying done before then as I know my mother and sisters will probably need some emotional stability.

Thank you guys for listening/reading my babbling. I truly appreciate it.
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wpr
  • wpr
  • Preferred Member
12 years ago
$&*&$^&#%#@#@$!!!!

I knew it was coming but I still hate to see it.

Breaking down when you tell someone is normal. I made a lot of phone calls when Dad, Dad #2 (my F-I-L) and my long time minister all passed away. I was fine until I had to say it out loud. I think it seems to be all the more real.

I hope the Gophers give you the best game you have ever seen.

I am certain you will have so much strength when you are with your family. You will basically be "in a box" mentally. Focusing on helping them get through these hard days ahead. At some point in time, when you all are ready for it, write down some of those old saying that your Dad use to say. The more they drive you crazy the better in my book. We laughed a lot as we all took turns bringing up stuff.

I don't know if I should mention this last thing. If it is wrong i am sorry. A friend of mine who is a registered nurse and has dealt with the dying on a daily basis told us to watch his knees. They turn a little bit blue as the body shuts down and the circulation weakens. My brother, the Dr, said he never heard of that before and was more than a little skeptical. My older brother pointed out that he does not deal with people who are slowly dying. He is a cardiologist and when his patients die it is rather quickly. Sure enough about a day before, we could see Dad turning blue. It helped me realize he was only hours away. Maybe that would not be helpful to you.
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Cheesey
12 years ago
Jeremy....i am so sorry to hear this awful news.
There are no words that will make the pain any less.

All i can say is take every opportunity to let your dad know how much you love him. You have been given the chance to say things that some never get. I KNOW it's hard. I've been there. The only difference was i was told my Dad would be coming home in a couple weeks, and the next day he died of a massive heart attack. I would give anything if i could have sat with him and been able to tell him all the things i never got a chance to do.
You are getting that chance. So use it to it's fullest.
Nothing will make it easy when he finally goes, but at least you won't have to live the rest of your life and have to regret things unsaid.
And don't be embarresed over crying. My Dad always said to me "God gave you emotions to USE them. NEVER feel bad about showing them. It takes a bigger man to show his emotions then to cover them up." My Dad was a very smart man.
I will be thinking/praying for you.
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macbob
12 years ago
Jeremy-very very sorry to hear the news. Went through similar with my Dad 10 years ago this Nov. Tell your Dad you love him, tell him you're proud of him. Tell him not to worry about your mom, the family will take care of her.

Just hang in there, be strong for your family, and hope for the best possible outcome (quiet, peaceful, painfree, surrounded by family). Each family/situation is different, but it helped for us by being able to have Dad at home, in familiar surroundings.

Sorry, Formo, I'd type more but this is hard.
zombieslayer
12 years ago

Today's meeting with the oncologist brought bad news. They will no longer be administering chemo and according to the doctor, the projected time-line for Daddy is 3-4 weeks. This weekend we'll be going over hospice plans and such. For those that read/post on the CaringBridge, I humbly ask you to not acknowledge any more information than what is posted there as we are still figuring out how we are going to spread the news to the rest of the family. But I figured I'd update you with the information I have. I told one of my bosses today (at job #1) and actually embarrassed myself by breaking down and bawling. I couldn't even spit out the words, I just stood there choking. I actually laugh about it now because he didn't have a clue as to why I was bawling when he asked if I were willing to work over the weekend. As soon as I composed myself and told him why I couldn't work this weekend, I left work.

Tomorrow our plans are to go to the Gopher football game (I need an escape, even if it's a weak one, football is one.. Many of you know this) and as soon as the final whistle blows, Shanna and I will be heading up North for some more quality time. I'm hoping to get all my crying done before then as I know my mother and sisters will probably need some emotional stability.

Thank you guys for listening/reading my babbling. I truly appreciate it.

Originally Posted by: Formo 



Wishing you and yours best. Don't be embarrassed. We're human, which is a GOOD thing. I probably couldn't even show up so you're definitely stronger than I am.
My man Donald Driver
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