MontanaBob
13 years ago
Yesterday (Sunday) I was getting ready to mow the lawn and when I pulled the mower out of our little storage shed, a swarm of ground hornets came after me. Had only seen a few this summer, but I guess now they are swarming big time. They came out from under the shed floor.

I got nailed by at least six and being very allergic to bee and wasp stings I carry an Epipen with me at all times........that is until yesterday. One was in the house on my dresser, the other out front in my truck. I did some kind of new dance down the hill, swatting at air, while my wife sat calmly on the deck reading the paper.

"Did you get stung, Bob?"

"No! I usually dance like this before I cut the lawn. It gets the blades of grass standing up better watching me dance."

"Do you have your Epipen? You know you should always carry it with you."

"Thank You, Nurse Know-It-All. I'll try to remember that.........ne......tim........!"

Bam.....I hit the back screen door, or what I thought was the screen door, my eyes were crossing so bad, and promptly slid to the deck.

Donna gets the pen and I whap the thing into my thigh and hold it there for ten or fifteen seconds or possibly much longer. I don't remember.

After a few minutes I can manage to get up and walk to the couch and lay down.

"Bob, why are you lying on the floor?"

"I'm on the couch.........aren't I?"

"Ok, we're going to the ER. Let's get your sorry ass in the car."

We go to Community Medical and Trauma
center. It's closer by a few miles and you don't have to cross traffic in Missoula. Plus, only half the staff there knows me, unlike St. Pats where I'm a household name.

We get there and Donna gets a nurse to help me out of the car.

"Hey Bob! What happened? I bet I know. You were dreaming the Vikings won the Super Bowl and you started having seizures." (she's an old friend and big time Vikes fan)

I tried to call her a nasty name, but all that came out was "itch." My throat was not working to well then.

Anyway, they got me stabilized with some more meds and a shot of some steroid substance. Wonder if I'll get big muscles and talk like Arnold? Everything was fine and back to normal after a couple of hours and we went home.

"Bob, why didn't you tell them you itched so bad? You kept yelling at Heather, 'itch, itch'."

"Sweetie Pie, I wasn't saying itch. I was trying to call her a nasty name for being a Vikings fan."

"Oh, God football. Why did they have to end that lockout!!"
Anyone for a Weenie Roast?
Cheesey
13 years ago
How can you take something awful, and turn it into something funny????

JUST HAVE IT HAPPEN TO BOB!!![grin1] =d>

(I'm TERRIFIED of bees/wasps.....just seeing them would have had me drop dead!)
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Zero2Cool (22h) : If I were to "Google" it, then I wouldn't read it in your words.
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dfosterf (4-May) : FYI civilian companies swipe the S2 designation from the military. S2 is the intelligence branch up to brigade level. G2 is division level.
dfosterf (4-May) : Google it. Make sure to tack NFL on it or you will get the military meaning
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beast (4-May) : In theory, the S2 test how quickly a QBs brain can solve game like issues and how quickly they can do it.
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dfosterf (30-Apr) : Luke Elzinga Punter Oklahoma stil unsigned. Green Bay has been mentioned as good fit
beast (30-Apr) : The Packers re-signed three exclusive rights free agents WR Melton, P Whelan and RB Wilson.
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Zero2Cool (29-Apr) : 6 first rounders on Packers defense now
Zero2Cool (29-Apr) : LB Isaiah Simmons. Signed. Called it!!! Oh yeah!
Martha Careful (29-Apr) : ty bboystyle...fat fingers
bboystyle (29-Apr) : Tom*
Martha Careful (28-Apr) : RIP Packer Safety Tim Brown
beast (27-Apr) : Yeah, but also some of the wording suggestions Jax only pranked called the QB, not the others... and if he had an open spreadsheet & 3 calls
beast (27-Apr) : Thank goodness he's not leaving the Turtle in the Red Tide
Mucky Tundra (27-Apr) : Cowboys 1st round pick Tyler Booker will indeed be bringing his pet turtle to Dallas with him
Mucky Tundra (27-Apr) : that contained all prospects info and contact
Mucky Tundra (27-Apr) : beast, according the Falcons statement Jax came across it on an ipad. If I had to guess, probably an open spread sheet or something
Zero2Cool (27-Apr) : Simmons put up an emoji with cheese.
beast (27-Apr) : Not sure anyone is interested in Isaiah Simmons... Collin Oliver might of taken his potential slot
beast (27-Apr) : I'm going with Jax Ulbrich is not telling the whole truth... he accidentally came across it? Why would a defensive coordinator have a QB #?
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Zero2Cool (27-Apr) : If we add Isaiah Simmons, book your Super Bowl tickets
Mucky Tundra (27-Apr) : Colts 1st round TE Tyler Warren also got prank called, was that Jax Ulbrich as well?
Zero2Cool (27-Apr) : Jax Ulbrich, Jeff Ulbrich’s son, released an apology for his role in the Shedeur Sanders prank call.
Martha Careful (27-Apr) : apparently he did not participate in practice or play on the east west shrine game nor the NFL combine. The kid was a mediocre spoiled brat
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Zero2Cool (27-Apr) : Shough is the guy who missed guys at combine isn't he?
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Zero2Cool (26-Apr) : Adam Schefter @AdamSchefter · 3m Draft grade is in: Green Bay gets an A. The people, the city, the venue were all superb. NFL Draft’s next
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