Ok, some of you are well-disciplined, rarely procrastinate, exercise and eat right most of the time, etc. And have been so for all of your adult lives.

This question is not for you.

Because if you've never had a life-long bad habit, you've never had to break one. And if you've never had to break a life-long bad habit, I seriously doubt you know how difficult it can be.

So my question is for those of you who have been able to break long-standing bad habits, or, perhaps, who have people close to you who have. Who had horrible self-discipline for decades, and then changed your habit and became very self-disciplined and have kept the good habit going. Who were lifelong procrastinators, sloths, or whatever, and managed to "change yourself" into productive overachievers, etc.

My question is this: How did you do it? And how have you kept from backsliding into those long-established bad habits?

It's a serious question for the 24th of December, I know. So feel free to wait until the holidays are over.

But it is a serious question.

As regulars here know, I struggle with my weight and with chronic depression. (E.g., you'll remember how I failed miserably in the lose-weight bet I made with Foster a year ago about this time.) And between The Job and The Mom, I'm getting worse in my habits, not better. I'm so bad about exercise that "muscle tone" and "wind" are pretty much rhetorical concepts. (I've thought of getting a personal trainer, but the reality is that I'm so far out of shape that I expect it would take me 6 months to get in shape enough for a trainer to be have something to work with.) And my annual physical last week made official what I was already pretty sure of: Type II: average blood sugar over last 90 days -- 138.

There's no question in my mind I have to break some longstanding bad habits if I can hope to reach 60, or even 55. And not just one of them, but several.

So here's my question...

How *do* you break, and keep broken, those bad habits that qualify as "life long"? How do you change the hardwiring you have done to yourself over years and decades of bad choosing?

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I'm a bad example. I was a fat kid, I lost weight as a result of depression and subsequent lack of eating. My metabolism's been screwed up ever since, now I have a new bad habit and I need to force myself to eat, and eat well.

In my opinion, there's 3 ways someone can break a bad habit.
1. Sheer force of will coupled with a gameplan. Using the example of diet/weight loss, creating a diet plan and sticking with it. Set up support structures for yourself, people and things that will keep you on track even when you don't want to

2. Necessity. Basically, a problem becomes so severe you either need to fix it, or you will die. This gives you more motivation, but if the problem's become that severe it will take that much longer to reverse what you still can reverse.

3. Major life events. Death of a family member, accident, something else that kicks your mind into thinking a different way.


Sadly, there's no trick to losing weight that works for everyone or even a majority of people, otherwise everyone would be doing it. We're all unique people with unique metabolisms and brains, you need something that works for YOU, not someone else.

As far as weight loss goes, I would actually suggest focusing on depression first if it's somewhat severe. No matter how determined you are to lose weight when you're doing okay, when you're in the depths of a depressive phase you're simply not going to give a fuck if you're anything like me. This is where support structures come into play, but if you can manage your depression better it will be that much easier to manage your diet and exercise routine.

Hope this helped.

Ummm...yes, there is. It's called eating less calories than you use.

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Rabid.....that's easy to say. Some people don't have a metabolism that burns off calories easily. Some can eat like pigs, and stay skinny because their metabolism allows them to do so. I had a friend like that. Ate like a PIG. Easily 3 or 4 times as much as i did. Yet was no more active then i was. His genes made weight control no problem at all.

Now , Wade.......a year ago i lost 30 pounds. I weigh 193 right now. Was as high as 240. I wouldn't suggest my "diet plan" though. Open heart quadruple bypass. After surgery i didn't eat very much, and with heart rehab had to work out 3 times a week. Was alot of walking on a treadmill. At first, i could only do 10 to 20 minutes, at 1 mile per hour. But keeping at it, i now can do an hour at 3.5 miles per hour.
I HATE workin g out, too. But i know that if i don't "force" myself to do it, i can end up back with severe heart problems.
You can't let the fact that you are out of shape stop you. Do 20 minutes the 1st day, as fast as you can handle. Keep a notebook, and write how much you did every day. Then each day increase a little. It might not seem like you are making progress, but you are! The trick is to keep at it!
And cut back on how much you eat at each meal.
I know that i eat sometimes just out of boredom.
And if you have a bad day and mess up, do NOT throw up your hands and give up! Mark it down as a "I screwed up" moment, and as the saying goes, "Get back on the horse!"
I'm a type 2 diabetic too. Got worse after my heart surgery. I have to take a shot of insulin in the stomach every night, on top of my pills.
Trust me, you do NOT want to end up having to have surgery like i had. It's been a year and 10 months since the surgery, and it still hurts! Especially when i sneeze. Feels like my chest is gonna pop apart.
The biggest thing is NOT getting on yourself when you "fall down." Get back up, look your "problem" in the eye, and let it know it will NOT beat you!
Also, if you have someone you can "confide" in, that can help you, that can be HUGE.
If you want to PM me with any more personal questions that you might have that you don't want to post on the forum, i'm here and will try to help, and will NOT tell anyone anything you want to keep personal.
The offer to try to help is there, if you want to use it.
HANG IN THERE, and don't give up!

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Rabid is right...whether through day-to-day activities you burn 1500 cal/day or 3000 cal/day, if you eat 1499, or 2,999 calories respectively, you should lose weight. I'm not trying to be a smart ass, just being literal.

Anywho, quick trick I just heard. Drink 1-2 cups of water before you eat any meal or snack. Limits intake while you still feel full.

Also, as has been alluded to...
1) Establish a goal
2) Write it down and put it somewhere you'll see it everyday (bathroom mirror, on the fridge, car dashboard, etc.). Not for everyone, but I like to include visual cues. I either use pics of where I want to be, or some hot babe I'm trying to impress.
3) Use a notebook to create and write a plan. Writing it down establishes accountability, much like writing down the goal.
4) Record what you did daily. THis is like a reward...I take pride and joy in being able to write it down afterwards, feeling like I accomlished something that day.

Not saying it's for everyone, but has worked for me and others I know.

That statement is deceptively simplistic, although if you take it completely at face value, it is true.

However, let's say your standard daily routine results in 2500 burned calories, and you're currently taking in 3000. Easy enough, just drop down to 2000 right? Not always. Funny what your metabolism will do to maintain homeostasis.

GREAT point Porforis!!!
If your body feels like you are "starving" it, it will slow down your metabolism even more.

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Many thanks, and +1, to everyone who posted.

Porforis spoke of having support structures and people who will keep you on track. Part of why I like this place so much is that you people are willing to serve that way. (And, Cheesey, trust me, I expect to be taking you up on your offer.)

Part of my frustrations here (here = where I live, not here = PH) has been that I've got no one "physical" to keep on my tail and who I can talk to -- everyone thinks I have a great job with a great employer, so I can't really talk about how the job sucks; the PC-ness of that work environment means I have to watch too much of what I say; plus everyone is either my student or married or whatever.

However, Porforis's point helped me realize that "no support network" was just whining on my part. So since my OP I have: (i) set up an appointment with a personal trainer, with plans to hire her for at least once a week as long as I can afford it (its 30 bucks an hour); (ii) contacted a counselor, with plans to do as much of that as it takes; and (iii) put a call in to a dietitian.

(Its sorta weird -- the PT, counselor, dietitian, even my new primary provider (a nurse practitioner) -- they're all women. Not that I either planned it that way, or object to it, but just feels odd. I've always had male doctors, pastors, etc before.)

Can't claim to have any good habits established yet....but I'm striving to start them.

Thanks again to those of you who posted.

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A few other thoughts...
At my college, we have a noon hoops group that meets everyday for faculty/staff, and have you talked to see if there are any other small training groups through your local Y, running store, at your school?

These are just a few ideas off the top of my head. As has been mentioned in the thread, accountability is one of the biggies. I ran for my high school/college for 8 years and I can tell you it's a hell of a lot harder lacing up the shoes now, than it was then. If it was 15 F and snowing sideways back then, I didn't think about it because practice was at 3:00...you just showed up and ran with your group. Now I don't run with anyone, and if it's 15 F and snowing sideways, who else is going to keep me accountable?

Somehow establish a routine and get involved with other groups...a small group to lift weights at 9am T/R, someone to walk a few laps with on the track at noon...even if they're not going to yell and shout in your face, just knowing someone is expecting you to show up. It sounds insultingly simplistic, but it's very powerful!

Good luck with the trainer and diet, and hope everything goes well!

All the info in here is undoubtedly great. But they are all pointless if you don't take ONE DAY AT A TIME.

Seriously. Don't look so far ahead that you forget about today. Just concentrate on the task at hand with the knowledge that it will lead you down the exact path you planned out.

It takes 21 consecutive days to break and start a habit. Also, if you are trying to stop a habit, instead of just stopping it.. Try replacing it with something else. For example, if you are wanting to quit smoking.. Every time you get the urge to light up, do something else. Make that 'something else' a new habit (so obviously make sure it's not a bad one).

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