musccy
  • musccy
  • Veteran Member Topic Starter
14 years ago
I don't know why, but this onion article made me laugh more than usual.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/my-opponent-knows-where-washington-is-on-a-map-i-d,18330/ 

As your Republican nominee for U.S. Senate, I'm grateful to have this opportunity to reach out to the people of Wisconsin and draw some distinctions between myselfa D.C. outsiderand Russ Feingold. The incumbent is a classic tax-and-spend liberal who, if elected, will increase the deficit even further. But most importantly, Russ Feingold is a career politician who knows exactly where to find our nation's capital on a map.
Me? I don't have the slightest idea. If somebody asked me right now where Washington, D.C. is, I would say north, but that's really just a shot in the dark. I am literally clueless.
You see, Russ Feingold has been a senator for nearly 20 years. He knows the Beltway backwards and forwards. Heck, I bet he could even tell you which state Washington, D.C. is in. I, on the other hand, don't even know what the "D.C." stands for, and I never will. I'll die before I acquire that information, and that is my promise to you.
Is D.C. where Mount Rushmore is? Beats me. Ask Russ Feingold.
Truth be told, I never even heard the name "Washington, D.C." until I decided to run for the Senate. When I am elected, I will have no idea how to get there or where I'm supposed to go. Will there be buildings there? Is it temperate, rainy, hot, or arid? Do people speak English in this place, this Washington, D.C.?
I haven't the foggiest. But you know who does? You know who probably knows what year Washington, D.C. was founded and who it's named after? Russ Feingold, geography whiz and soon-to-be-former senator from the great state of Wisconsin.
If, in fact, Wisconsin is even technically a state. Is it? To tell you the truth, I'm not 100 percent certain America is made up of states. We might be living in a fiefdom, for all I know.
Am I spelling that right? "Wisconsin." It looks weird written out.
What I do know is that my opponent is a liberal, he'll raise your taxes, and he didn't vote for financial reform because he didn't think it went far enough. Now let me ask you a question: Isn't it time you elected an outsider who doesn't even know what casting a vote means? Someone who doesn't know the number of U.S. senators or whether they are appointed by some kind of special committee?
Ladies and gentlemen, isn't it time you elected someone who only learned five minutes ago that there are three branches of government, not 14?
Once again: Russ Feingold could point out Washington, D.C. with his eyes closed, and I have never quite grasped the difference between a map and a light-up globe. That is the difference I bring to the race, and that is the kind of leadership we need.
For the past 17 years Russ Feingold has done nothing but let down the people of this great state, or territory, or place, or whatever this is. He's a D.C. insider who has well-thought-out positions on issues. I don't know what issues are.
I want your vote, if that is a thing, and I want a lot of themas many as you can spare. Perhaps you could mail them to me. I don't know.
While Russ Feingold likes to talk about how he's worked across the aisle and fostered relationships with both John McCain and members of the House of Representatives to pass campaign finance reform, I am proud to say that, as a political outsider, I could not begin to tell you what an aisle is or how the House of Representatives is remotely involved. Furthermore, who the heck is John McCain?
Here is what I know: Washington, D.C. is far away. Outer space is farther away. And Caesar salad is a kind of salad. What more do you need?
What we don't need is Russ Feingold, who is a Democrat capable of conjugating verbs and composing thoughts in sentence form. I'll be honest, I have absolutely no clue what I've been saying here this entire time. What is time? Where am I? Who are you? How do telescopes work, and why am I writing this right now? I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.
Because I am an outsider and Russ Feingold is a man with dark hair.
Furthermore, overspending, the left-wing media, tax cuts, class warfare, Muslims, Obamacare, Nancy Pelosi, corporate giveaways, socialism, Nancy Pelosi. Washington, D.C.
Voter-people of Wisoncassinn, my name is Rob Jameson, and I want to be your congressman or Parliament or surgeon general or whatever the hell it is I'm running for. Thank you

Cheesey
14 years ago
LOL! Yeah,...it IS funny.
I have heard people say "Why vote for him? He doesn't have an IDEA about politics !!!"
That's exactly WHY i would vote for him. Feingold has had almost 20 years, and has done nothing to help Wisconsin. He is EXACTLY the definition of "career politician". And exactly what we do NOT need. 18 years is enough.....get someone in there that hasn't spent his career in politics. Get someone in there that knows how to WORK for a living and is in touch with the people that actually have to pay for all the taxes the liberals ask for.
Maybe then we can have REAL "CHANGE".
I wouldn't mind throwing out ALL the career politicians and getting some people in there that know that you can't spend more then you take in.
Maybe we could get the national debt back under control......without stealing more and more out of the pockets of the working class.
UserPostedImage
14 years ago
I understand where you're coming from. I really do. I've often wanted "fresh blood" in office too. The problem is that it does make a difference if you know the job you're hired to do. It's like any other career, in that sense. If you throw an entire group of wet-behind-the-ears rookies into the fire the whole system will implode. It would be an ugly mess. The idea that we can rejuvenate the political system by putting in people who aren't that smart and who are "outsiders" is not only a little naive, but dangerous as well.

One thing that we've lost sight of through all of this partisan bullshit is a true sense of DUTY from these politicians. I haven't lived in Wisconsin in a while but Feingold always struck me as someone who had some sense of that duty. Hell, the fact that he voted against an unnecessary $1 trillion war when nationalism was burning strongly gives me some faith in him.
UserPostedImage
musccy
  • musccy
  • Veteran Member Topic Starter
14 years ago
I didn't mean for this to turn political. I have my own views that I won't delve into, and I think the intent of this article isn't meant to be a jab at Johnson as much as it is a satire of (insert ANY first year politician) and the insultingly useless rhetoric that the MSNBC/Fox, Repubs/Dems throw back at each other.

Furthermore, overspending, the left-wing media, tax cuts, class warfare, Muslims, Obamacare, Nancy Pelosi, corporate giveaways, socialism, Nancy Pelosi. Washington, D.C.

:onfloor:
14 years ago
It's worth making fun of. It's fun seeing the Repubs using the exact same tactics now that the Democrats used when Bush was in office. It's such a farce.
UserPostedImage
musccy
  • musccy
  • Veteran Member Topic Starter
14 years ago
exactly how I feel MPF, which is why I was saying I wasn't trying to turn this political. It was a good way of making fun of political candidates, regardless of party affiliation.
Cheesey
14 years ago
I knew what it was, and was truely laughing at it. Even though i wouldn't vote for Feingold (he USED to seem to care about us, but for a long time he's been "one of the boys" in Washington) I see the humor the writer was making.
Kind of like my "Change" jokes at the president.
Johnson may not fully understand how the "same old same old" of Washington runs. And that's makes an easy target of him. I'm SURE he knows where Washington is, and all that. But because he ISN'T a career politician, he made himself a target to be made fun of. I really do get the jokes and apprecite them.
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musccy
  • musccy
  • Veteran Member Topic Starter
14 years ago
Oh yeah, I wasn't trying to imply that you didn't get them...I was just posting as a general comment that my intent wasn't to promote a left-wing viewpoint by posting an article that cracks at a right-winger.
Cheesey
14 years ago
I know!!! No offense taken!
I figure by now, everyone here knows i lean heavily to the right........makes it hard to walk!!!LOL!
UserPostedImage
djcubez
14 years ago

LOL! Yeah,...it IS funny.
I have heard people say "Why vote for him? He doesn't have an IDEA about politics !!!"
That's exactly WHY i would vote for him. Feingold has had almost 20 years, and has done nothing to help Wisconsin. He is EXACTLY the definition of "career politician". And exactly what we do NOT need. 18 years is enough.....get someone in there that hasn't spent his career in politics. Get someone in there that knows how to WORK for a living and is in touch with the people that actually have to pay for all the taxes the liberals ask for.
Maybe then we can have REAL "CHANGE".
I wouldn't mind throwing out ALL the career politicians and getting some people in there that know that you can't spend more then you take in.
Maybe we could get the national debt back under control......without stealing more and more out of the pockets of the working class.

"Cheesey" wrote:



In American politics real change takes a lot of time. There's no such thing as a quick fix. Unless a person pays specific attention to politics (I don't LOL) it's hard to know what's really going on, but the information is out there. What bothers me is that most Americans are politically uninformed yet won't admit. I'm not afraid to admit it. When I talk politics I sound like an idiot which is why I tend to steer away from them. There is never usually a right answer in a political discussion either so yelling at people and trying to convince them to agree with you is often futile lol.
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