Nonstopdrivel
14 years ago

Non's way is the smarter, easier and less stresser way..

"Formo" wrote:



No, it really wasn't. It was purely a matter of expedience and/or necessity -- my deployment had gotten moved up several months. Do you know how stressful it is to try to get family members over 1000 miles across country in less than a week? I've never told the complete story on this website (except maybe to Zombieslayer). It was one of the most hellish weeks that could have been imagined. Every conceivable thing went wrong that could have gone wrong, except that (thankfully) no one died.

Even so, as stressful as that week was, when I see the self-inflicted torture and expense people go through to plan a wedding over 12 or 18 months, I don't think I'd want to change what we did. We compressed all that stress into as short a time as possible and got it over with.
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Porforis
14 years ago
Well, I did end up calling him (nice compromise, also it's not practical to meet in person for at least 3 weeks), after the initial nervousness I enjoyed surprising the hell out of him. Obviously, it went well and I should be proposing tomorrow or Sunday depending upon what happens (she's on a very weird schedule at the moment).
Nonstopdrivel
14 years ago
Congratulations. You could propose to her at work, you know. 😉
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Porforis
14 years ago

Congratulations. You could propose to her at work, you know. ;)

"Nonstopdrivel" wrote:



Nah. New job, she's got an important exam (GRE for her masters program) tomorrow morning that I don't want her emotions running high for. After that though, it's fair game.

Did I mention how much I hate rings? I found one that I really liked, but the damn bracket that held the diamond in place was just HUGE and ruined an otherwise simple yet elegant ring. Seriously, it jutted out about a fifth of an inch past the top of the diamond, which obviously wasn't that big. No wonder it was on sale. 😛
Formo
14 years ago

Non's way is the smarter, easier and less stresser way..

"Nonstopdrivel" wrote:



No, it really wasn't. It was purely a matter of expedience and/or necessity -- my deployment had gotten moved up several months. Do you know how stressful it is to try to get family members over 1000 miles across country in less than a week? I've never told the complete story on this website (except maybe to Zombieslayer). It was one of the most hellish weeks that could have been imagined. Every conceivable thing went wrong that could have gone wrong, except that (thankfully) no one died.

Even so, as stressful as that week was, when I see the self-inflicted torture and expense people go through to plan a wedding over 12 or 18 months, I don't think I'd want to change what we did. We compressed all that stress into as short a time as possible and got it over with.

"Formo" wrote:



Well, I didn't specify why I said you way is better. I didn't know your circumstances, and when you didn't bring them up, 'your' way is still far easier, and less stressful.

With that said, I can understand. My sister is getting married to a Sailor (Navy.. VR would be proud.. lol Foster!), and they've changed the date 3 times already because of his schedule, and will possibly do it again (went from Dec 3 to Nov 3, to Nov 27.. now potentially changing again).

That being said, if I had the money, I absolutely would have dropped 20k on our wedding and buca-bucks on her rock. That's never an indictment of how the marriage will be despite Zombieslayer's post (no offense buddy).

My picture of your wedding was more of an elope(age) than a traditional wedding.
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Thanks to TheViking88 for the sig!!
Nonstopdrivel
14 years ago
Nope, not an elopement. We had a church wedding with dress, music, rings, even a reception.

This is an issue Zombieslayer and I agree on. My personal theory is that the health of a relationship is inversely proportional to the size of the rock. I've never seen a truly happy relationship in which the guy bought the woman a huge rock starting out. The fact is almost no one has the money for that kind of expenditure starting out, which means they're going into debt to put on a lavish show -- not a great foundation for a long-term relationship. Besides, if a man has to buy a woman's affection with a huge, elaborate stone, she probably doesn't love him all that much.

Any time I see a (young) woman walk into a room with a huge rock on her hand, I tell myself, "She's going to be divorced soon." More often than not, I'm right. In fact, I've heard women ridiculing their men -- calling them stupid -- for buying such outlandish rings. But I've seen plenty of radiant brides with tiny, unassuming stones -- or even no stone at all -- who are in it for the long haul. People who are truly in love have no need to trade such gaudy trinkets to prove their love. They prove their love by the way they live.

If you have your heart set on getting your special woman that monstrous rock, give it to her on your tenth anniversary, after you're in a financial situation to pay for it in cash -- and more importantly, after you two have proven your relationship has staying power.

In other words, after she's proven she's worth it.
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Wade
  • Wade
  • Veteran Member
14 years ago
Interesting thread. As a forever single guy, I can't comment on the wisdom/non-wisdom of various approaches.

I do wonder, intellectually, whether anyone has ever studied the correlation between "actual agreement by bride and groom about 'best kind of wedding'" (as opposed to 'going with what he wants/she wants/others want' etc) and long term success of marriage.

I do know that no relationship I've ever had lasted long or developed more after I gave roses to her. 😞
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
Romans 12:2 (NKJV)
Fan Shout
beast (4h) : 6 days
wpr (17-Apr) : 7 days
Zero2Cool (16-Apr) : sounds like Packers don't get good compensation, Jaire staying
dfosterf (16-Apr) : Nobody coming up with a keep, but at x amount
dfosterf (16-Apr) : Trade, cut or keep
dfosterf (16-Apr) : that from Jaire
dfosterf (16-Apr) : My guess is the Packers floated the concept of a reworked contract via his agent and agent got a f'
Zero2Cool (16-Apr) : Yes, and that is why I think Rob worded it how he did. Rather than say "agent"
dfosterf (16-Apr) : Same laws apply. Agent must present such an offer to Jaire. Cannot accept or reject without presenting it
Zero2Cool (16-Apr) : I'm thinking that is why Rob worded it how he did.
dfosterf (16-Apr) : The Packers can certainly still make the offer to the agent
dfosterf (16-Apr) : Laws of agency and definition of fiduciary responsibility
dfosterf (16-Apr) : Jaire is open to a reduced contract without Jaire's permission
dfosterf (16-Apr) : The agent would arguably violate the law if he were to tell the Packers
Zero2Cool (16-Apr) : That someone ... likely the agent.
Zero2Cool (16-Apr) : So, Jaire has not been offered nor rejected a pay reduction, but someone says he'd decline.
Zero2Cool (16-Apr) : Demovksy says t was direct communication with someone familiar with Jaire’s line of thinking at that moment.
Zero2Cool (16-Apr) : Demovsky just replied to me a bit ago. Jaire hasn't said it.
dfosterf (16-Apr) : Of course, that depends on the definition of "we"
dfosterf (16-Apr) : We have been told that they haven't because he wouldn't accept it. I submit we don't know that
dfosterf (16-Apr) : What is the downside in making a calculated reduced offer to Jaire?
Zero2Cool (15-Apr) : Packers are receiving interest in Jaire Alexander but a trade is not imminent
Zero2Cool (15-Apr) : Jalen Ramsey wants to be traded. He's never happy is he?
Zero2Cool (15-Apr) : two 1sts in 2022 and two 2nd's in 2023 and 2024
Zero2Cool (15-Apr) : Packers had fortunate last three drafts.
dfosterf (15-Apr) : I may have to move
dfosterf (15-Apr) : My wife just told the ancient Japanese sushi dude not enough rice under his fish
Zero2Cool (14-Apr) : I think a dozen is what I need
dfosterf (14-Apr) : Go fund me for this purpose just might work. A dozen nurses show up at 1265 to provide mental health assistance.
dfosterf (14-Apr) : Maybe send a crew of Angels to the Packers draft room on draft day.
Zero2Cool (14-Apr) : I am the Angel that gets visited.
dfosterf (14-Apr) : Visiting Angels has a pretty good reputation
Zero2Cool (14-Apr) : what
Martha Careful (14-Apr) : WINNING IT, not someone else losing it. The best victory though was re-uniting with his wife
Martha Careful (14-Apr) : The manner in which he won it was just amazing and wonderful. First blowing the lead then getting back, then blowing it. But ultimately
Zero2Cool (12-Apr) : I'm guessing since the thumb was broken, he wasn't feeling it.
dfosterf (10-Apr) : Looking for guidance. Not feeling the thumb.
Mucky Tundra (10-Apr) : If they knew about it or not
Mucky Tundra (10-Apr) : I don't recall that he did which is why I asked.
Zero2Cool (10-Apr) : Guessing they probably knew. Did he have cast or something on?
Mucky Tundra (10-Apr) : Did they know that at the time or was that something the realized afterwards?
Zero2Cool (9-Apr) : Van Ness played most of season with broken thumb
wpr (9-Apr) : yay
Zero2Cool (9-Apr) : Mark Murphy says Steelers likely to protect Packers game. Meaning, no Ireland
Zero2Cool (8-Apr) : Struggling to figure out what text editor options are needed and which are 'nice to have'
Mucky Tundra (8-Apr) : *CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP*
Zero2Cool (2-Apr) : WR who said he'd break Xavier Worthy 40 time...and ran slower than you
Mucky Tundra (2-Apr) : Who?
Zero2Cool (2-Apr) : Texas’ WR Isaiah Bond is scheduled to visit the Bills, Browns, Chiefs, Falcons, Packers and Titans starting next week.
Zero2Cool (2-Apr) : Spotting ball isn't changing, only measuring distance is, Which wasn't the issue.
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