Nonstopdrivel
14 years ago

Non's way is the smarter, easier and less stresser way..

"Formo" wrote:



No, it really wasn't. It was purely a matter of expedience and/or necessity -- my deployment had gotten moved up several months. Do you know how stressful it is to try to get family members over 1000 miles across country in less than a week? I've never told the complete story on this website (except maybe to Zombieslayer). It was one of the most hellish weeks that could have been imagined. Every conceivable thing went wrong that could have gone wrong, except that (thankfully) no one died.

Even so, as stressful as that week was, when I see the self-inflicted torture and expense people go through to plan a wedding over 12 or 18 months, I don't think I'd want to change what we did. We compressed all that stress into as short a time as possible and got it over with.
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Porforis
14 years ago
Well, I did end up calling him (nice compromise, also it's not practical to meet in person for at least 3 weeks), after the initial nervousness I enjoyed surprising the hell out of him. Obviously, it went well and I should be proposing tomorrow or Sunday depending upon what happens (she's on a very weird schedule at the moment).
Nonstopdrivel
14 years ago
Congratulations. You could propose to her at work, you know. 😉
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Porforis
14 years ago

Congratulations. You could propose to her at work, you know. ;)

"Nonstopdrivel" wrote:



Nah. New job, she's got an important exam (GRE for her masters program) tomorrow morning that I don't want her emotions running high for. After that though, it's fair game.

Did I mention how much I hate rings? I found one that I really liked, but the damn bracket that held the diamond in place was just HUGE and ruined an otherwise simple yet elegant ring. Seriously, it jutted out about a fifth of an inch past the top of the diamond, which obviously wasn't that big. No wonder it was on sale. 😛
Formo
14 years ago

Non's way is the smarter, easier and less stresser way..

"Nonstopdrivel" wrote:



No, it really wasn't. It was purely a matter of expedience and/or necessity -- my deployment had gotten moved up several months. Do you know how stressful it is to try to get family members over 1000 miles across country in less than a week? I've never told the complete story on this website (except maybe to Zombieslayer). It was one of the most hellish weeks that could have been imagined. Every conceivable thing went wrong that could have gone wrong, except that (thankfully) no one died.

Even so, as stressful as that week was, when I see the self-inflicted torture and expense people go through to plan a wedding over 12 or 18 months, I don't think I'd want to change what we did. We compressed all that stress into as short a time as possible and got it over with.

"Formo" wrote:



Well, I didn't specify why I said you way is better. I didn't know your circumstances, and when you didn't bring them up, 'your' way is still far easier, and less stressful.

With that said, I can understand. My sister is getting married to a Sailor (Navy.. VR would be proud.. lol Foster!), and they've changed the date 3 times already because of his schedule, and will possibly do it again (went from Dec 3 to Nov 3, to Nov 27.. now potentially changing again).

That being said, if I had the money, I absolutely would have dropped 20k on our wedding and buca-bucks on her rock. That's never an indictment of how the marriage will be despite Zombieslayer's post (no offense buddy).

My picture of your wedding was more of an elope(age) than a traditional wedding.
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Thanks to TheViking88 for the sig!!
Nonstopdrivel
14 years ago
Nope, not an elopement. We had a church wedding with dress, music, rings, even a reception.

This is an issue Zombieslayer and I agree on. My personal theory is that the health of a relationship is inversely proportional to the size of the rock. I've never seen a truly happy relationship in which the guy bought the woman a huge rock starting out. The fact is almost no one has the money for that kind of expenditure starting out, which means they're going into debt to put on a lavish show -- not a great foundation for a long-term relationship. Besides, if a man has to buy a woman's affection with a huge, elaborate stone, she probably doesn't love him all that much.

Any time I see a (young) woman walk into a room with a huge rock on her hand, I tell myself, "She's going to be divorced soon." More often than not, I'm right. In fact, I've heard women ridiculing their men -- calling them stupid -- for buying such outlandish rings. But I've seen plenty of radiant brides with tiny, unassuming stones -- or even no stone at all -- who are in it for the long haul. People who are truly in love have no need to trade such gaudy trinkets to prove their love. They prove their love by the way they live.

If you have your heart set on getting your special woman that monstrous rock, give it to her on your tenth anniversary, after you're in a financial situation to pay for it in cash -- and more importantly, after you two have proven your relationship has staying power.

In other words, after she's proven she's worth it.
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Wade
  • Wade
  • Veteran Member
14 years ago
Interesting thread. As a forever single guy, I can't comment on the wisdom/non-wisdom of various approaches.

I do wonder, intellectually, whether anyone has ever studied the correlation between "actual agreement by bride and groom about 'best kind of wedding'" (as opposed to 'going with what he wants/she wants/others want' etc) and long term success of marriage.

I do know that no relationship I've ever had lasted long or developed more after I gave roses to her. 😞
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
Romans 12:2 (NKJV)
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