Here’s what I hope to be a nuanced take on a complex topic. Transsexuality! Woohoo let’s get this fun and
completely not uncomfortable topic rolling.
My younger cousin (college age) was born as a woman, identifies more as a man and these days prefers to be called they. Knowing them as a girl since they were born, this is a little awkward, but in an effort to acknowledge who they consider themselves to be I oblige and support them. I still mess up the pronouns sometimes though (many times while writing this). Some in my family, including some they looked up to and care for very much, have disowned them. The tense is important there - they no longer look up to them but still care for them, even if they do not reciprocate.
They have considered having gender-affirming surgery, but have not yet gone under the knife. I am not sure if they still plan to do so - bringing the topic up makes me uncomfortable, so I sheepishly avoid it. A few years back when we discussed it it was mostly a matter of money - apparently, it is rather expensive and their financial situation is poor. Shifting from she to he to they is something that happened over time so I am not sure if surgery is still in the cards. They will graduate with an in-demand engineering degree soon, so the financial situation may be moot sooner rather than later.
Personally? I hope they do not go through with it. It seems like something that comes with a high chance of regret not to mention the general risks of surgery. Post-op transexuals generally have more societal barriers to contend with as well, it's easier in some sense to live as a tom-boy than a trans man. It causes me a great deal of distress whenever I think about it.
On the other hand, I have no idea what it is like to feel as if I were born into a body that does not feel familiar to me - that feels foreign. Your own body, a place that you are not comfortable in? To me this is inconceivable - only through empathy can I attempt to imagine how difficult this would make every waking moment of my life. In any case, I lack the perspective and personal experience to have an informed opinion on what is best. If this is something that is safe to do and will help them live a better, happier life, I am all for it - I am not convinced this is the case but it could be - if they go forward with it I really hope this is the case. At the end of the day, whether they do it or not is none of my business - free will and all of that being what it is, it simply is not my choice to make.
As a 38-year-old man who perhaps 10 years ago would have found the topic, well, for the lack of a better word, rather icky. I can only imagine how difficult it is for the older generations to deal with or comprehend this stuff. It must seem absolutely nuts. That said, I feel like society, as it did with gayness 10-20 years ago, is gradually coming to terms with transsexuality, which is a good thing in my view.
In an attempt to wrap this up into an on-topic and coherent thought: understanding, awareness, and advocation are extremely important. Without open discussion and personal involvement, these people will continue to be ostracized and shunned by their loved ones and society as a whole. Transexuals are at an even higher risk of homelessness, attack, abuse, suicide, etc, than gay people as they are more likely to be disowned by their family and friends and removed from their support system. I think the truly kind thing to do is consider their well-being first, and my own personal beliefs and opinions second, or 99th, or whatever. I will do whatever I am able to help make sure this person who I care deeply about doesn’t feel so alone and unwelcome to the point that they end their life.
Anyway, I find these sorts of personal stories and interactions with real people much more meaningful than news articles or video clips. So I hope if nothing else this this helped bring a new perspective to whoever ends up reading it.