Zero2Cool
4 years ago
One of the better commencement speeches I've read.

Inside every adult lurks a graduation speaker dying to get out, some world-weary pundit eager to pontificate on life to young people who'd rather be Rollerblading. Most of us, alas, will never be invited to sow our words of wisdom among an audience of caps and gowns, but there's no reason we can't entertain ourselves by composing a Guide to Life for Graduates.

I encourage anyone over 26 to try this and thank you for indulging my attempt. Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97:

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.


https://www.chicagotribune.com/columns/chi-schmich-sunscreen-column-column.html 

Mary Schmich wrote:



This speech inspired a song.



UserPostedImage
Fan Shout
Zero2Cool (7m) : However, we seem to struggle vs new QB's
Zero2Cool (7m) : Should be moot point, cuz Packers should win tonight.
packerfanoutwest (22m) : ok I stand corrected
Zero2Cool (24m) : Ok, yes, you are right. I see that now how they get 7th
Zero2Cool (25m) : 5th - Packers win out, Vikings lose out. Maybe?
beast (25m) : Saying no to the 6th lock.
beast (25m) : No, with the Commanders beating the Eagles, Packers could have a good chance of 6th or 7th unless the win out
Zero2Cool (29m) : I think if Packers win, they are locked 6th with chance for 5th.
beast (29m) : But it doesn't matter, as the Packers win surely win one of their remaining games
beast (30m) : This is not complex, just someone doesn't want to believe reality
beast (30m) : We already have told you... if Packers lose all their games (they won't, but if they did), and Buccaneers and Falcons win all theirs
Zero2Cool (32m) : I posted it in that Packers and 1 seed thread
Zero2Cool (35m) : I literally just said it.
packerfanoutwest (38m) : show us a scenario where Pack don't get in? bet you can't
Zero2Cool (40m) : Falcons, Buccaneers would need to win final two games.
Zero2Cool (40m) : Yes, if they win one of three, they are lock. If they lose out, they can be eliminated.
packerfanoutwest (50m) : as I just said,,gtheyh are in no matter what
Zero2Cool (56m) : Packers should get in. I just hope it's not 7th seed. Feels dirty.
packerfanoutwest (58m) : If packers lose out, no matter what, they are in
packerfanoutwest (58m) : both teams can not male the playoffs....falcon hold the tie breaker
packerfanoutwest (1h) : if bucs win out they win their division
beast (1h) : Fine, Buccaneers and Falcons can get ahead of us
packerfanoutwest (1h) : falcons are already ahead of us
beast (1h) : Packers will get in
beast (1h) : If Packers lose the rest of their games and Falcons win the rest of theirs, they could pass us... but not gonna happen
packerfanoutwest (1h) : they still are in the playoffs
packerfanoutwest (1h) : If Packers lose the remaining games,,,,at 10-7
Zero2Cool (3h) : We can say it. We don't play.
Mucky Tundra (4h) : But to say they are in is looking past the Saints
Mucky Tundra (4h) : That said, their odds are very favorable with a >99% chance of making the playoffs entering this week's games
Mucky Tundra (4h) : Packers are not in and have not clinched a playoff spot.
buckeyepackfan (5h) : Packers are in, they need to keep winning to improve their seed#.
Mucky Tundra (14h) : Getting help would have been nice, but helping ourselves should always be the plan
beast (14h) : Too bad Seahawks couldn't beat Vikings
bboystyle (14h) : We just need to win Monday night and were in
Mucky Tundra (17h) : Or ties, but let's be real here
Mucky Tundra (17h) : Other scenario was Falcons+Rams losses
Mucky Tundra (17h) : Needed a Falcons loss for a Seahawk loss to clinch
buckeyepackfan (18h) : Am I wring in saying if Tge Vikings beat The Seahawks, The Packers clinch?
Mucky Tundra (21-Dec) : Agreed; you stinks
Zero2Cool (21-Dec) : I'm not beating anyone. I stinks.
Mucky Tundra (21-Dec) : rough injury for tank dell. guy can't catch abreak
beast (21-Dec) : So far the college playoffs have sucked... One team absolutely dominates the other
beast (21-Dec) : Well even if you weren't positive towards a guy, you wouldn't nessarily want to tell the media that (if they don't know about it)
Martha Careful (21-Dec) : I think MLF want Love to look past the end half issues, and feel good about his play. Our coaches generally keep a very positive tone.
beast (21-Dec) : I think a great running game will do that for most QBs
packerfanoutwest (21-Dec) : Coach Matt LaFleur has said quarterback Jordan Love is playing the best football of his career.
beast (21-Dec) : Oh, that's how you keep beating buckeye, with cheating
Zero2Cool (20-Dec) : There is a rule that if your name starts with 'b' you lose 15 points. Hey, I don't make the rules, I just enforce them!
wpr (20-Dec) : and then there is Beast. Running away with it all.
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