I didn't come from a broken home, yet I couldn't agree with you more, Formo. For most of my life, I bought into my mother's bitching about my father, and grew up essentially hating my father's guts. It wasn't for quite a few years after I left home that I was able to get a more objective picture of the situation. Then I realized I had bought into a one-sided bucket of slop. Regardless of whether the parents are together or not, they should never bitch about each other in front of the children, and NEVER bitch to the children a bout each other. To do is so is so caustic to the children's psyche and to their relationship with their parents, the most precious connection they have.

I refuse to bitch about my wife in front of my kids.

"Nonstopdrivel" wrote:

Don't get me wrong, I don't believe in necessarily "staying together for the kids" -- and I actually believe it's quite healthy for children to be able to see that their parents can disagree and fight yet still love each other and be able to live together. My wife's grandparents used to always go to a private room away from the kids when they needed to fight; I think that can send the wrong message: that conflict in a marriage is to be avoided at all costs.

What I'm talking about is something much different. I'm talking about overtly attacking and running down your spouse to your children. "Your father is such an asshole, he's good for nothing, he doesn't love me like he should, he never cares about what I want," etc. etc. etc., ad nauseum. I used to hear that shit from my mother every single day (and I still would had I not stood my ground and ordered her to shut up). THAT is what I think is so damaging -- giving your children a one-sided, negative view of their other parent. Let your child make up his own mind and keep your negative opinions to yourself. Let your child grow up to love his parents, because bitterness against parents is so damaging and can last a lifetime. I still struggle with it against my father, and I KNOW that most of the stuff I was fed was half-truths and outright lies.

I just realized that I'm essentially running my parents down behind their backs -- in a public venue no less -- which makes me no better than they. I'll shut up now.

"Nonstopdrivel" wrote:

your ex is an ungrateful lying bitch...oops did i say that out loud? :D

"4PackGirl" wrote:

"4PackGirl" wrote: