GM / Chrysler warranties to be honored by U.S. Pentagon: "Pentagon, Col. Schmuckatelli speaking. This is a non-secure line."
Me: "Yes, Colonel, I'm experiencing an intermittent rattle under my dashboard, and I want you guys to fix it for me."
Pentagon: "Well, sir, what DOD agency are you with, perhaps I can direct your call to the appropriate motor pool OIC."
Me: "Oh, no, I'm not in the DOD. I'm a Chevy owner, and your Commander-in-Chief just promised to warranty my car. Now the piece of crap is rattling, and I want to know what you are going to do about it." "It's really quite irritating, and I paid good money for this rattle-trap against my better judgment...the guy at the dealership told me that if anything ever went wrong that I was not to worry because you guys would take care of it."
Pentagon: "Sir, the Armed Forces of the United States are NOT in the business of fixing warranty claims on civilian vehicles!"
Me: "Look, Colonel, maybe you didn't get the memo. Your boss promised to fix my friggin' car, and I want it fixed now...and while you are at it, I want a damn loaner...gimme a tank or maybe a Bradley Fighting vehicle...I don't want no Hummer, though, I hear they're worse than my damn Chevy."
Pentagon: "You know, your voice sounds familiar...aren't you the guy that reported the UFO's in Wisconsin?"
Me: "Ya, but I'm not having that kind of problem this time. I just want you to honor your warranty...Don't you soldiers have some sort of Duty, honor country pledge thing going on? I mean really...if I knew you guys were going to be such a major hassle every time I needed my car fixed I'da bought a Toyota like my wife told me to in the first place."
Pentagon: "Are you quite finished now, sir?"
Me: "Well, while you got it in there, check the pressure in the tires and give it a lube, oil and filter, will ya?"
Pentagon: "Anything you say, sir, anything you say. I'll have that tank out to you in the morning...have a nice day."
Me: "It's about time I got some decent service out of my dealership...Geez."