Customer Service
SALES REPRESENTATIVE: Creative Losses Incorporated, this is Maggie speaking. How may I help you?
COACH: Hey Maggie, this is Mike McCarthy.
SALES REPRESENTATIVE: Hello, coach, good to hear from you again!
COACH: Yeah, you too. I was looking to purchase something new in a creative loss.
SALES REPRESENTATIVE: This week's special is a 70-yard drive by the opponent that starts at the three-yard line and ends with a game-winning field goal at the gun.
COACH: No, I tried that one two weeks ago against the Texans. I want something different. It's a Monday Night game, so it has to be special.
SALES REPRESENTATIVE: Well, there's the 54-yard bomb and one-yard touchdown after the two-minute warning. It comes complete with a game-killing interception by your quarterback on the next drive.
COACH: Nah. Used that one against the Panthers. Something different.
SALES REPRESENTATIVE: Well, we have an 80-yard touchdown drive in the final five minutes available. It also comes bundled with an interception on the next drive. And of course, all of our Creative Losses occur immediately after your team ties the game or takes the lead on a field goal.
COACH: I know the warranty, Maggie. I'm a regular customer. I used the 80-yard drive against the Jaguars. Don't you have anything new?
SALES REPRESENTATIVE: Coach, our inventory is limited. While we value your business, we don't recommend using Creative Losses week after week the way you do. If you like, I could connect you with a manager
COACH: Put me through.
MANAGER: Hello coach. It seems that you've used up every off-the-rack Creative Loss in our catalogue. I would offer you something from the Unprepared Rookie Backup Quarterback Collection, but I see you've already used that, too. But I am happy to inform you that, as a Preferred Platinum Premium Customer, you are entitled to a custom-made loss by one of our expert technicians.
COACH: I'm listening.
MANAGER: Since you are playing the Bears in Chicago on a Monday night in December, we have the following suggestions. You could lose on a kickoff return touchdown after a game-tying field goal. Or, you can lose because a fumble gets away from one of your frostbitten players in the snow. Finally, there's fog. Are you interested in losing a game in the fog?
COACH: Throw in an interception on the final drive, and you have a deal.