My phone rang several hours ago ... I didn't answer. It was from someone that knows I don't talk on the phone. She called back again. I realized she might be in trouble so I grabbed my shoes. This time she left a voicemail telling me to call her as soon as possible. As I started walking to my car I called her back and she told me Nick, a best friend of mine since I was 11 years old had passed away.
I spent the last five hours with his family, who have basically taken me in as their own... and in fact his mother did just that when I had no where else to turn. I was doing okay until I had to drive his car to his mothers. It hasn't fully sunk in yet... I don't know if I want it to.
I am so numb to death. It's a part of life, but I am so tired of it. Matt, Uncle Mike, Mom, Grandma, Joyce, Raydon ... now Nick ... I want it to stop. I
need it to stop. I don't know how much more I can handle. I know many have it worse... I just ... I don't know.