Kyle: Ex-excuse me? My name is . . . Brad. And I need to report a crime. Anonymously.
Detective 1: Oh? What's the crime?
Kyle: Well, I attend South Park Elementary. And -- and one of the teachers is having sex with a student.
Cops: Oh, my God! This is terrible.
Detective 1: You did the right thing telling the police, Brad. Now who's the teacher? What's his name?
Kyle: Well, it isn't a guy teacher. It's a woman.
Cop 1: A woman?
Kyle: Yeah. She's having sex with a boy.
Detective 2: Oh. But . . . but she's ugly, right?
Kyle: Well, no, not really. It's the kindergarten teacher, Miss Stevenson.
Detective 1: The blonde?
Kyle: Yeah.
Cop 1: Some young boy's having sex with Miss Stevenson?
Kyle: Yes.
Cop 1: Nice.
Detective 1: Nice.
Kyle: What?! No, you don't understand!
Cop 1: You sure they've had sex?
Kyle: Yeah!
Cop 2: Has she performed oral sex on him?
Kyle: Yeah, I think so.
Cop 2: Nice.
Cop 1: Nice.
Cop 2: Nice.