dfosterf
13 years ago
Sometimes you get these little profound experiences that you just know will stay with you for a lifetime.
It was 5:30 yesterday afternoon. I was laying on the bed, watching NFLN, my wife was in our office, playing computer games.
Preface-
I have two "main" entrances to my home, the "formal front" and the "neighbor/friend" side entrance. The front has a bell-tone of "ding-dong-do dah" and the side just "dings"
Anyway, I'm layin in bed, minding my own business, and my house phone starts ringing. Simultaneously, my cell phone rings, my wife's cell phone rings, and someone is at my side door entrance, banging on the door-bell, repeatedly--- "ding- ding-ding-ding", etc.
I can barely hear, plus I expect my wife to take care of bullshit, so I basically attempt to ignore all this. Unfortunately, she figures it's a side entrance thingy, so that's my department. We both figure out that neither of us are going to take care of it for the other at approximately the exact same time- Hope I'm painting the picture...
Enroute to the side entrance is our family room. Through the family room is our rear entrance, a set of glass french doors. I'm rolling to the side entrance, my wife directly behind me, and I just happened to glance to my left through that family room.
"Holy shit!" is all I could say. My wife, directly behind me, obviously looked as well, and all she could come up with was, "HOLY SHIT!"
Biggest fucking Black Bear I ever saw, including the zoo, down on his haunches, chowing down on my next door neighbors bird-feeder, not 12 feet from my back entrance in the middle of my backyard. Not a care in the world. My neighbors were on the sidewalk taking photographs of him. I don't even back to woods. My next door neighbor does. You might remember that he is the one whose wife opened her garage door (the INSIDE one) to a 615 lb. black bear in her garage last year, eating her garbage.
This one is bigger. He stayed for 15 minutes, right there, having a good 'ol time with that bird-feeder, until one of the folk on the sidewalk did something that startled him. He got up, then stood up (my God, he was massive-and beautiful) then ambled about 12 feet to my left. I took that opportunity to try and take his pic by stepping out onto my back patio. He didn't like that, stopped, turned, and took a step towards me. I assure you he scared me more with that single step than any towel-head ever did, lol
He then turned back around and ambled off, stopping once in my other next door neighbors yard, to have another look at me, as if to say, "you can still kiss my ass."
God, he was magnificent. My neighbor called the cops. The cops were kinda like, "WHATever", 'til they saw the pics my neighbors WERE able to get of him...
6:30 to 1:00 AM-- Cop car, right at my curb, cop with night vision goggles.
This is a big boy. They'll get him. (It'll be a dart, not a trap, my prediction- this guy didn't get this big wandering into traps-see what I'm sayin'...)
I'll post the article when it happens.
Way beyond cool for a suburbanite. This ain't friggin' Alaska for cripes sake.
Formo
13 years ago
Ha. Sounds like a Montana Bob story.

That said, I have a bear story of my own. When I was in junior high up in Superior, WI, one particular morning started out just like every other morning. Got ready for school, ate, etc. I believe at this time, I was using the front door as my main entrance (eventually we all started using the back door as our main entrance). Anyway, I grabbed my backpack and headed out the front door.

As soon as I stepped outside and locked the door, I felt like something wasn't right. Kinda shrugged it off and went about my business. Then I got to the sidewalk in front of our house (which was only about 5-10 yards from our bottom porch-step) and was told by a police officer that it would probably be best if I walked down the OPPOSITE way a block or two then make my way to school from there. I didn't understand why he told me that, and almost ignored him, until he got to why he was telling me this.. A black bear was up IN OUR NEIGHBOR'S TREE. About 25 feet up. I have no clue how it got up there because there were NO branches for 20 feet of the tree trunk. But sure enough, I looked up there and saw her. Now, I wasn't as big as I thought a bear should be, but this was a black bear and not the polar/grizzly bears I saw at the zoo. Anyway, I remember getting to school faster than I ever have, despite my 4 city-block detour.

And to end the story, the bear was, I believe, darted and fell down the tree later that mid-morning/afternoon. Was unharmed (because the dart didn't take effect yet) and ended up running through some of our neighbor's yards.
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wpr
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13 years ago
wow.
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Rockmolder
13 years ago
Wow... That is pretty amazing. Can't even imagine what that'd be like. The closest I've ever been to a dangerous animal in my backyard is a cat or a wasp.

Depends on what you finbd more terrifying, I guess.

I asume you didn't manage to take that picture... But don't you have any others? Would love to have an image connected to this story.
wpr
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13 years ago
I was telling this story to a guy I see when I go for a walk in the mornings. He knows how you feel.

He and his wife were sitting outside at a cabin in N WI. It was about 11 at night. A mother bear and her 2 cubs came around the corner of the house and tripped the motion light. She was between the people and the house. There was a lake on the other side of the people so they didn't really have any place to go.

No one was saying a thing. They all slowly stood up, the momma turned and walked back around the corner of the garage. Her cubs followed. The people went inside. The bear came back into the back yard checking this out seeing what there was to eat and then moved on.

They were grateful the cubs never squealed as they didn't know what mamma would have done. There was no way for them to get to the house without going past her. The best they could have done is to head for the lake and hope the bear didn't want to follow them in the water.
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zombieslayer
13 years ago
This reminds me of two jokes.

One, my father was telling me he was watching this Japanese Godzilla movie where Godzilla was smashing up Tokyo and one guy said to his buddy that they needed to run for their lives. His buddy said "wait, first take picture."

What the **** were you thinking Foster? Screw the picture. Probably just best to stay inside and hope the bear eats your neighbor instead of you.

The second joke. When you got your wife banging and screaming at your front door and your dog howling at your back door, who do you let in first?




Your dog of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
My man Donald Driver
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2010 will be seen as the beginning of the new Packers dynasty. šŸ‡¹šŸ‡¹ šŸ‡²šŸ‡² šŸ‡¦šŸ‡·
Porforis
13 years ago

Ha. Sounds like a Montana Bob story.

Originally Posted by: Formo 



No, a Montana Bob story would start with a nurse at the hospital asking how he managed to get giant claw marks on his chest.
dfosterf
13 years ago
OK- We ( my neighbor and I-- our "size" estimate) had it bigger than it actually was. They got it. Apparently the local grocery store donated a massive amount of donuts (250 lbs.) as "lures". The bear initially got away, but I have it on good authority that they were able to trap and release about 35 cops the very first night. šŸ– 400 lbs is still no small bear. God, that was cool.

http://www.pennlive.com/midstate/index.ssf/2011/11/pennsylvania_game_commission_c_1.html 
Cheesey
13 years ago
Foster.......the easiest way to keep him out of your back yard is: Just put a goal post up.



[aiee]
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wpr
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13 years ago
And I thought the easiest way to find out their weight was to put them on a scale.
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