peteralan71
13 years ago
Brett Favre's Waiting Game 

Brett Favre and I are standing in his long dirt driveway in Hattiesburg, Miss.

The sun is roasting my forehead like a rotisserie chicken.

"Yep, they'll be comin' purdy soon," Favre says.

The hot winds whip up the grit. It paints the back of my throat.

"How much longer, do you think?" I ask.

"Soon," Favre says, his neck craning down the long empty rural road that runs in front of his house. "They always come and get me 'bout this time of the year."

A tumbleweed stumbles by. Birds are so exhausted by the heat that they're walking.

"You think maybe they thought you meant it this time?" I say. "I mean -- about retiring?"

"Aw, hell, no," he says, spitting tobacco. "I say somethin' like that every year. I been sayin' that crap since '03. Nobody ever really believes it. Hell, one year I even held a press conference. Cried and everythin'. But my boys know the truth. My boys'll be along. They need me."

A single drop of sweat falls off my nose. I try to catch it on my tongue.

"Who, exactly, are we talking about?"

"My boys! My Viking teammates! Jared and Hutch and Longs! They'll probably do somethin' hilarious. Like come in a Hooters bus or somethin'. They'll beg me to come back and I'll finally laugh and give in. Then we'll chug a few brewskis on the way to the jet. It just waits there for us. Zygi don't mind. He wants me back."

I look back at the house. His dog is under the porch. His wife, Deanna, stands at the upstairs window. I look at her. She just shrugs.

"Um, Brett? Zygi just traded for Donovan McNabb."

"Sure, as my backup."

"Well, uh, actually, I don't think so, Brett. It's just that you're 41 now. I mean, you're a legend, for sure, but last season you looked a little slow. And you had eight more picks than touchdowns."

Favre looks at me for the first time since sunrise.

"Hey, I got every dang quarterbackin' record in NFL history. Most touchdowns, most completions, most straight starts--"

"Most interceptions, most sacks, most fumbles…" I add under my breath.

"--most yards, most wins. Nah, they'll be along."

Another hour goes by. The last helpless cloud gives up and vaporizes.

Finally, in the distance. We see something. It's a purple-and-gold van. After another couple of minutes, we can see that it's flying huge Vikings flags.

"I'll be damned," I say.

Brett grabs his bags and walks toward the road, but the van just honks as it speeds by, while the passengers flip us off. One hollers, "Thanks for nothin', Favre!" They leave us in a brown cloud.

I wipe my mouth and eyes on my sleeve. Brett is undaunted.

"It's gonna be great to see the boys," he says, spitting dirt.

Two more hours. A cow falls over sideways.

"Brett, I don't wanna be a buzzkill here, but the Vikings don't need a quarterback."

Favre takes his red bandanna out of the back pocket of his Wrangler jeans and dabs at his brow. "Then it'll be my boys from Green Bay. They'd send the damn Marines to get me back!"

"Well, actually, the Packers have Aaron Rodgers now. They just won the Super Bowl with him. And you may not be quite as popular in Green Bay as you once were."

Pause.

"Jets, then."

"Brett, you can't go anywhere near the Jets. Remember Jenn Sterger?"

"OK -- Philly."

"Philly's got Michael Vick!"

Favre gives me a hard stare."Somebody's comin'. It just takes 'em awhile to figure out that even though I say I don't wanna come back, I really just want people to want me back. I don't wanna have to ask, you know?"

We wait another hour. I look back at the upstairs window. The curtains are closed. The dog is gone. I pray for sunstroke. The first crease of doubt crosses Brett's face.

"I don't get this," Favre says. "I did everything like I do every year. I announced my retirement. I worked out with the local high school team. I told Ed Werder I was done. How many signs do I gotta give?"

Just then, in the distance, we see the wavy images of a car approaching. As it gets closer, we can see it's black. Finally, we see that it's a long black limo.

It pulls into the driveway. Brett grabs his bags. The driver hops out and gets the back door. Tiki Barber steps out.

"Mind if I wait around with you guys?" Barber asks.

He stands next to Favre and cranes his neck up that long road.

"When's L.A. gettin' a team again?" Favre asks.

"Two years, tops," Barber says.

I look at my watch.

The minute hand clicks backward.

Rick Reilly wrote:


Green Bay: Home of the Green & Gold. And the hunter orange. And the camouflage.
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dfosterf (21m) : I swear if I were to discover that one of them has invented a virtue signalling transmitter I will not be surprised, lol
dfosterf (24m) : 39 companies so far that I bet no one has ever heard of.
dfosterf (26m) : -Not saying woke, but should- borderline philanthopist venture capital excercise
dfosterf (28m) : Well for one, they are pouring resources into Title Town Tech. Investing beer, brat, hot dog, ticket money into what is pretty much...
beast (6h) : Wow, 95% drop in investment revenue? Would be interesting to hear the details of why...
dfosterf (25-Jul) : It's my one day deal complaint dept. on shareholder meeting day
dfosterf (25-Jul) : Probably a homer access credential intimidation kinda thing
dfosterf (25-Jul) : Meathead "journalists" skip this, concentrating on operational revenue when convenient. They switch when net revenue is more favorable.
dfosterf (25-Jul) : Resulting in an actual drop of net revenue of 12.5%. She is from Minnesota. Just sayin'
dfosterf (25-Jul) : Any plans to hold Maureen Smith (CFO) accountable for a 95% drop in investment revenue?
Mucky Tundra (25-Jul) : In your face, HBO!
Mucky Tundra (25-Jul) : @ByRyanWood Mark Murphy: “A great source of pride of mine is that we were never on Hard Knocks.”
Mucky Tundra (25-Jul) : *years
Mucky Tundra (25-Jul) : @mattschneidman Mark Murphy says he anticipates “many Packers games” being played in Germany, Ireland and/or the U.K. over the next 5-10 yea
dfosterf (25-Jul) : *cafeteria* I have hit my head also, so I sympathize
dfosterf (25-Jul) : Possibly hit his head leaning into the glass protecting the food in the cafateria
dfosterf (25-Jul) : Maybe a low flying drone
dfosterf (25-Jul) : Did Savion Williams run into a goalpost or something?
Mucky Tundra (25-Jul) : also, no bueno when a guy starts getting concussions right off the bat in his career
Zero2Cool (25-Jul) : Concussion is worse. Banks probably vet off day via back booboo claim
Mucky Tundra (25-Jul) : @AndyHermanNFL Jordy Nelson out at camp today. No word if he’s in play for one of the two open roster spots ; )
dfosterf (25-Jul) : Is that better or worse than Banks bad back?
Zero2Cool (25-Jul) : Savion concussion ... not good.
packerfanoutwest (24-Jul) : Aaron Rodgers’s first pass of first team period was picked off
Mucky Tundra (24-Jul) : tbh I didn't hear of his passing
Zero2Cool (24-Jul) : Cosby Show. Malcom Jamal Warner I think is real name
Mucky Tundra (24-Jul) : I was thinking of Ozzy and Hulk
Mucky Tundra (24-Jul) : Who's Theo?
Zero2Cool (24-Jul) : How is Theo alliteration?
Mucky Tundra (24-Jul) : Bad week for people whose names are alliterations
Zero2Cool (24-Jul) : Hulk Hogan gone too.
Zero2Cool (24-Jul) : Oh, it's toe injury
Zero2Cool (24-Jul) : Hope it's not serious. that would stink
dfosterf (24-Jul) : Sounds like an ankle not a knee for Fields
dfosterf (24-Jul) : Ya Flaccp on Browns
Zero2Cool (24-Jul) : Maybe Tyrod Taylor instead
Zero2Cool (24-Jul) : He's on Browns, right?
dfosterf (24-Jul) : They would probably go with Flacco is my guess if Fields out
dfosterf (24-Jul) : Fleece 'em again!
Zero2Cool (24-Jul) : Malik Willis might be someone Jets come after
packerfanoutwest (24-Jul) : Packers introduce 1923-inspired classic uniform, leather-look helmet
Zero2Cool (23-Jul) : Both LB Quay Walker and Rookie DB Micah Robinson have passed their physicals
Zero2Cool (23-Jul) : Happy to see site feels more snappy snappy
Zero2Cool (23-Jul) : No sir. I did not.
dfosterf (23-Jul) : You didn't get free childcare when you were at work?
wpr (23-Jul) : These guys make hundreds of thousands of dollars a year. Pay for their own childcare.
dfosterf (23-Jul) : 2nd issue. Number 1 issue was no gameday childcare. 1 of 3 teams not providing it
Zero2Cool (23-Jul) : Suppose if locker room is main issue, we sitting pretty
wpr (23-Jul) : I thought so Mucky. In those useless player polls GB always rates high overall. Locker is a part of it.
Mucky Tundra (23-Jul) : Wasn't the locker room just updated like 6 or 7 years ago?
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