Justin Harrell isn't going to kid himself. His days in Green Bay may be numbered. Before the lockout began, the Packers gave the defensive lineman no indication they wanted him back for a fifth season.
Part of Harrell can't blame them.
"Being there four years with my rash of injuries and the lack of production, a lot of people are surprised that I'm still there," Harrell said. "It's part of the business. You try to be prepared for anything."
He is the one lemon in a successful five-year plan. In a landslide, Harrell has been Ted Thompson's biggest draft blunder. In four seasons, the 2007 first-round pick has played in just 14 games. He missed 10 games in 2008 and all of 2009 because of a herniated disc that needed two surgeries. And last year, finally recovered from his back problems, Harrell tore his ACL after two snaps in Week 1. Whenever the lockout ends, there's a good chance the Packers will waive Harrell before his scheduled $575,000 roster bonus kicks in.
Back at his home in Tennessee, Harrell is waiting and wondering.
"It's up to them. I don't know," Harrell said. "I didn't have any talks at the end of the year like, 'You'll be back.' The special circumstances of the lockout kind of took things off, too. I really haven't talked to anybody about a strategy or what's going to happen."
The latest season-ending injury occurred on a technique that Harrell has, unfortunately, done so many times. Relegated to field-goal protection duties - hardly the landing spot for a first-round pick - Harrell lined up for a 49-yard field goal attempt at Philadelphia. Fresh off making the 53-man roster, he was hoping just to stay healthy. From there, he'd claw his way into the defensive line rotation. Mason Crosby's kick was good. But in the scrum, Harrell's leg was caught underneath a player, and multiple others smashed on top of it.
Harrell heard a crunch. He knew it was bad. And it was back to the drawing board.
The rehab and recovery went well, Harrell says. Still, he won't put a percentage on it. Harrell won't truly know how strong his knee is until he's running and cutting on a football field. By now, he's careful to temper his enthusiasm. Given second, third and fourth chances by the Packers, the injuries and sluggish play persisted.
One silver lining? Last season's knee injury gave Harrell's chronically bad back another full year of rest. He still sees a chiropractor and massage therapist once a week each.
"It was another year of no pounding," said Harrell, who has 37 career tackles and zero sacks. "My back has really had two years to rest since the surgery. Not having any issues with that was encouraging last year. It was a whole year with no symptoms or anything."
Meanwhile, the Packers won a Super Bowl without him. When injuries mounted on the defensive line, new blood stepped in and excelled. Green Bay's two-year transition to a 3-4 defense was fast, furious and finished without the former top pick. Harrell wasn't in North Texas for the Super Bowl. Instead, he took refuge in the mountains of Tennessee. With his wife and two kids, the Harrells watched the game inside their cabin. Sure, he thought about joining the team but decided some peace and quiet would be better.
No cell phone reception, no worries.
"Nobody bugs you, asking about the game, asking how you're doing," Harrell said. "You just sit back and enjoy the game. We had a good time."
When Harrell returned home, his phone was flickering with voicemails. It was a pleasant surprise to know people were still thinking about him. Plenty of friends and family have asked him how he's doing mentally through all of this.
His wife, Barbie, says there haven't been any breakdowns.
"He did pretty good with it," she said. "He doesn't show a lot of emotion, but I know that deep down he really wants to play. He's overcoming it real well."
This is just football, Harrell tells himself. It's a blessing to play in this league. Wallowing in his sorrows won't change anything. He's been training at a nearby complex in Tennessee, paying attention to lockout news like everybody else. When it's over, the fog will clear. He'll find out if the Packers want him. Wherever Harrell winds up, team doctors are bound to treat him like a lab rat.
Then, the uphill climb resets again. Simply earning a roster spot will be a steep challenge. That's fine with Harrell. In fact, it's a healthy change of pace.
"Being a first-round pick, there were a lot of expectations," Harrell said. "I haven't lived up to those. I'm just trying to stay focused and be ready for what's next."