Zero2Cool
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14 years ago
I'm not married, only came 'close' once with being engaged. I've had quite a few relationships and the only parents that disliked me where the girls I dated in High School and Keiana's grandma, who adores the crap out of me now. Go figure, eh?

Anyhow, I don't understand the hatred. Odds are, you're significant other is going to be like their parent, why hate? Where does it come from?

Is it just a married thing that you automatically have to dislike your in-laws?

It's something that's always puzzled me for years. I used to think, they are just playing nice cuz I'm with their daughter and they're trying to be respectful, once I'm gone, it'll be venom spewing for sure. But even after the relationshp's ended, the parents would still talk to me as a friend.

I dunno, it doesn't make sense to me. It must be a married thing, or maybe the girls I've dated end up (somehow) dating a bigger asshole than me and the parents think 'take the lesser of the assholes!!'.


You married folk baffle me.
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DakotaT
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14 years ago
I don't hate my in-laws, I just wish they weren't around so much. My wife, her sister, and parents are co-dependents of each other. I don't understand it, don't want to, and just wish it would go away.

I combat this problem by working 80 hour weeks, and try not to be around on the weekends I know the aliens are visiting. Most men seek help from the three wise men: Johnny Walker, Jim Beam, and Jack Daniels.
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Zero2Cool
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14 years ago
lol nice ... 16 hour days ... that must be brutal. I thought the 10-12 I put in everyday was a handful!
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Tezzy
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14 years ago
I have enough issues with my own parents, a second set of parents is just annoying 🙂 Have to remember that a lot of times being the male half of the equation, you are defiling some dude's daughter, they might not like you for that.
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DakotaT
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14 years ago

lol nice ... 16 hour days ... that must be brutal. I thought the 10-12 I put in everyday was a handful!

"Zero2Cool" wrote:



8 hours in a soft chair, 5 hours physical work, and 10 hour days on weekends from April through September. And you guys wonder why I'm grouchy.
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wpr
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14 years ago
I got along well with my in laws. Did the eulogy a couple of months ago for my father in law. Treated him like my father. (Same for my mother in law.) They treated me like their son.

I consider my wife's 4 younger sisters my sisters too. I was the big brother they never had. Esp the younger two girls since there is 8-10 years between us. Any one of them can call me anytime any where and I will come running.

Years ago one of the husbands was abusing his wife. When I found out about it I called my father in law and told him to just say the word I will drive in to Chicago, pick him up and we will go to Tennessee. Just me, him and my aluminum baseball bat and we will have a chat with that boy. I didn't care what the consequences were going to be. He can't treat her like that.
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zombieslayer
14 years ago
My father-in-law died before I got a chance to meet him. As I was telling Foster in a chat awhile back, he was a Marine. I'm pretty sure I would have gotten along with him as I have yet to meet a Marine I didn't get along with.

Marines tell it like it is and will make a thin skinned person get all butt hurt, but they're the most loyal people out there. It's really a shame I never got to meet him. He would have been a good Grandpa.

My mother-in-law is a drug addict and hangs around with an alcoholic criminal. Last time we saw them was about 5 years ago and they were homeless. We intentionally don't tell them where we live or else they'll show up with suitcases. We're hoping they're dead. You can only do meth so long before it kills you. His liver is shot so it's hard to say which one of them a-holes will die first.

Does that sound cold? Well, if you knew them, you'd understand. My wife turned out normal by completely shutting them out. They would have dragged her down.

My wife on the other hand is very close to my parents. Don't hate me, but I grew up in a functional family.
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Nonstopdrivel
14 years ago
My father-in-law hates everyone, so it's no surprise he hates me too. My mother-in-law and her husband are incredibly nice people, and I'm just not, so the incessant niceness quickly begins to rot my teeth. They're wonderful people, but I tend to keep my visits with them as brief as possible, for my own health's sake. My sons adore them and they adore my sons, so overall the relationship is eminently amicable. I'm blessed to have them in my life -- they've helped us out of a few scrapes that might have otherwise been crippling.
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zombieslayer
14 years ago

My father-in-law hates everyone, so it's no surprise he hates me too. My mother-in-law and her husband are incredibly nice people, and I'm just not, so the incessant niceness quickly begins to rot my teeth. They're wonderful people, but I tend to keep my visits with them as brief as possible, for my own health's sake. My sons adore them and they adore my sons, so overall the relationship is eminently amicable. I'm blessed to have them in my life -- they've helped us out of a few scrapes that might have otherwise been crippling.

"Nonstopdrivel" wrote:



Heh. Your post reminds me of Ogre in Revenge of the Nerds. Ogre's doing the bench press and the QB is trying to motivate him to lift it up one more time by calling him every curse word in the book. Finally, the QB says "you're nice" and Ogre does several reps screaming "I'm not nice!"

You're blessed to have good Grandparents for your sons.
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bigfog
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14 years ago
Never really had a problem with my in-laws. In fact, they've been there for my when my own parents weren't. Only issue I had with them was their incessant smoking, but they've quit and we get along pretty well. Of course, it helps that they live 3 hours away too. I don't know if we'd get along so well if we all lived together in the same town.
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alharrisdude31
14 years ago
my inlaws are the biggest a-holes you could meet, when i met my sweety senior year in high school, they instantly told her she couldn't see me, why? because I wasn't rich (i wore baggy, stained clothes, didn't have a nice car or truck, and was always sweaty.)
Come spring break my sophmore year of college, i went back to visit her, and a huge fight broke out between her and her parents. Look where we are now, happy together, and her parents moved to Texas! I still do have to deal with them on the major holidays 😞
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shield4life
14 years ago
Not married yet, will be soon but am I the only one that loves my in-laws lool.

They really nice, caring people, the fact that they respect me also might just help the situation of me liking them.
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Porforis
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14 years ago
I am dog/housesitting for my girlfriend's parents and I'm about ready to strangle their Rat-dog. It has been trained to bark when it wants things. Thus, BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK
Formo
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14 years ago
I don't hate my MIL.. She just drives me effing nuts.

I married my wife because she's awesome, I want to spend the rest of my life with her, and I love her. And despite her mother. I refuse to predestine her future by saying she'll be just like her mother. Also, since her mother drives her more nuts than me, I just don't see how my wife will turn out just like the MIL.
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zombieslayer
14 years ago

I don't hate my MIL.. She just drives me effing nuts.

I married my wife because she's awesome, I want to spend the rest of my life with her, and I love her. And despite her mother. I refuse to predestine her future by saying she'll be just like her mother. Also, since her mother drives her more nuts than me, I just don't see how my wife will turn out just like the MIL.

"Formo" wrote:



Formo - Look up the psychological term "rationalization."
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wpr
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14 years ago

I don't hate my MIL.. She just drives me effing nuts.

I married my wife because she's awesome, I want to spend the rest of my life with her, and I love her. And despite her mother. I refuse to predestine her future by saying she'll be just like her mother. Also, since her mother drives her more nuts than me, I just don't see how my wife will turn out just like the MIL.

"Formo" wrote:



ever so slllooooowwwlllly my wife becomes more and more like her mother even though her mother drives her nuts too.

Good luck buddy. :tongue3:
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Porforis
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14 years ago

I don't hate my MIL.. She just drives me effing nuts.

I married my wife because she's awesome, I want to spend the rest of my life with her, and I love her. And despite her mother. I refuse to predestine her future by saying she'll be just like her mother. Also, since her mother drives her more nuts than me, I just don't see how my wife will turn out just like the MIL.

"wpr" wrote:



ever so slllooooowwwlllly my wife becomes more and more like her mother even though her mother drives her nuts too.

Good luck buddy. :tongue3:

"Formo" wrote:



:(
wpr
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14 years ago

I don't hate my MIL.. She just drives me effing nuts.

I married my wife because she's awesome, I want to spend the rest of my life with her, and I love her. And despite her mother. I refuse to predestine her future by saying she'll be just like her mother. Also, since her mother drives her more nuts than me, I just don't see how my wife will turn out just like the MIL.

"Porforis" wrote:



ever so slllooooowwwlllly my wife becomes more and more like her mother even though her mother drives her nuts too.

Good luck buddy. :tongue3:

"wpr" wrote:



:(

"Formo" wrote:



Listen up. It is a valuable tool for you. Later in life you can quietly compare your wife to her mother and watch her go ballistic. Don't use it often. Don't be mean about it. Just to shake her up every once in a while.

She is going to win 110% of the arguments. Even when she is wrong you will be the one who must apologize. This is one of those sweet little victories for you when there is no fight.

What is even funnier to to see my wife do things that MY mother does/did.

My wife bought a purse. We had a family get together. My mother had the same purse. It happened with a dress. (They both were no wearing them at the same time but they both had the exact same dress.) It happened about 4-5 times before my wife changed her shopping habits all together. i had soooo much fun with that! But I had to compare my wife to mother every infrequently or else. :physassult:
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Nonstopdrivel
14 years ago

She is going to win 110% of the arguments. Even when she is wrong you will be the one who must apologize.

"wpr" wrote:



Bullfuckingshit. This is horrible advice to give young men. Horrible. Teach men to take charge of their households, not cower in fear of their wives' wrath and petty caprices.

With all due respect, of course. I just hate hearing things like this from husbands. It doesn't have to be that way and shouldn't. There are probably some men who have the equanimity to act like this around their wives and still maintain their respect and attraction, but the vast majority of men aren't -- and will only doom themselves to the ridicule and disrespect of their wives by attempting to follow your advice.
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4PackGirl
14 years ago
my inlaws are ok - they actually live NEXT DOOR to us!! the hubby actually built a house for them - NEXT DOOR!!! did i mention they live NEXT DOOR????? but all in all, they know their place with us. hubby didn't have the best life growing up - dad was a drunk who for fun liked to beat his 3 sons - badly. we're talkin knock them unconscious badly. but his dad quit drinking, got old, & is always good to his grandkids. anytime there's a problem with them, dan (hubby) goes right over & tells them exactly what he thinks. it works in a completely f'd up way.
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