ok guys - i need some insight. this kid, caleb, is bullying my kid and a bunch of others too. it started at the end of the year last year & has continued into this year. he has physically assaulted both my kids. tackled them onto concrete, thrown them to the ground, & in general been a pain in the ass.

i tried talking to the principal/superintendent but he's an administrator who claims his hands are somewhat tied. and while he'd like to discuss what he's doing to caleb - he can't due to privacy bullshit. i know he was suspended several times last year & kept in from recess but clearly this kid doesn't care. i researched it alot & found horror stories of victims who have killed themselves because of a bully. i don't think we're at that point yet but this morning, cory didn't want to go to school.

my boys are not little wimpy kids or anything but for some reason he's targeted them & a few others. i decided to write a formal complaint to the principal/superintendent & school board. i specified each incident in the letter & informed them that this IS PHYSICAL ASSAULT. and that i expected them to do something about it. if they didn't, i would be left with no other alternative than to contact the police if/when it happens again. i don't want to be an over the top overbearing parent but i don't know what else to do.

were any of you victims of bullies? any ideas on how to handle this? what the hell should i do???

Oh god......i was bullied every day Jules. My life at school was a living hell.
There was one kid who would wait till i came out of school at the end of the day, then punch me. That was when i was in 4th grade i believe.
Like every day, he taunted me about how he was gonna beat me up after school. This day though, i didn't let it bother me. After school, i went out the usual door.....there was Scott, with about 30 kids in a circle (all waiting to watch the carnage) Scott was saying "Come on Smith! Come get your beating!" Just then, Scott felt a tap on his shoulder.....he turned around to see my 16 year old brother. He said, as he pointed to me "You see that boy?" Scott said "Yes". My brother said "That's my little brother. If you EVER touch him again, I'll be the one waiting for YOU! Now, get out of here!"
Scott took off like a missle, and from then on was my friend.
Maybe you need to get someone to scare the kid. My brother never touched Scott, just put fear into him.
I would document all what's going on.

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thanks alan. i'm torn between handling it the PC way or basically telling my kids to beat the living crap outta the kid the next time he shoves them. quite the conundrum, eh?

Teaching your kids to kick the bully's ass won't solve the problem though. He'll just move on to fresher, younger targets. Happens with bullies. Scaring them works better.

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well i don't have anyone who could scare them. i'd send my hubby but the lil kid might have a heart attack then. and heaven forbid a parent or anyone else for that matter should say anything to someone else's kid. see the irony there, he does it on a daily basis but nobody can do it to him. we live in a seriously f'd up world. they have a million excuses but no solutions. typical of our school system.

Send letter to school and CC it to the parents of the bully

Put in the letter if it continues you will seek legal assistance

Lock him in a room, and make him watch the Packers/Bears game in its entirety.

thanks for the laugh, iron. kinda needed that today. :)

and LTF, all the research i've done suggests contacting an attorney if the situation isn't better in 2 weeks. they feel that is ample time to stop the bully & ensure the safety of the victim(s). i'm not a 'sue happy' kinda person. but if it happens again, i might have to do that. ridiculous? hell yes. this whole f'in thing is ridiculous. this kid is 7 years old & has been a nightmare since kindergarten. he's supposedly in some sort of high intensity counseling - has been since at least last year. guess what? it ain't f'in workin!!!!!

Julie,

Longtimefan has a good point. Mail that letter AND send one to the police department/juvenile officer or someone who deals with minors, and an attorney.

As frustrated as we may get with the school systems, things have changed over the past number of years.......most not good for schools. The first words many kids learn today are,"I'm gonna sue you!" Administrators are scared to death of being sued...it's like an engineer having one of his bridges collapse. It ain't going to help your career.

The Privacy Act, good as it may be, has crippled what schools can let out on discipline, etc. and students names in particular. Again, the administrators fear the word "sue."

Don't worry about being the nagging parent. There are probably several others there that are just too afraid to do or say anything. Be that one who does something about it.

And if all else fails, teach your boy how to break a cement block with a forehead butt, give a school demonstration, and look the bully right in the eye and have him mouth the words......"You're next, Jellybrain."

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thanks so much bob. i was hoping you'd chime in. the principal/superintendent (they are the same guy here) actually commended me AND my sons for coming forward. i'm sure in some way it was just lip service but he said he's amazed at the number of parents who really don't care. so i think i will add something like "i'd rather avoid this unpleasantry but if necessary i will pursue legal action." does that sound ok? geez louise i didn't think i'd be dealing with this in 2nd GRADE!! i had no idea how unprotected these kids are.